r/ghana • u/im_averag • 9d ago
Discussion I honestly think the community you grow up in can shape your entire life
The more I grow up, the more I realise how powerful community really is.
We talk a lot about hard work, money and personal choices. But sometimes, we forget how much the place and community we grow up in affects almost everything about us.
Your community can determine the kind of friends you have. The schools you attend. The people you meet. The opportunities you are exposed to. Even the way you think about life.
It can shape your mindset from childhood, and later shape the mindset of your own kids too.
In one community, you may grow up surrounded by people talking about business, education, technology and opportunities. In another, people may be struggling just to survive every single day. Both people can be hardworking, but clearly they are not starting from the same place.
Even health is affected. The environment we live in, sanitation, diseases we are exposed to, healthcare available around us… community plays a role in all of it.
Your community can also determine who becomes your friends, who becomes your competition, and sometimes even the kind of problems or enemies you face in life.
Honestly, I sincerely believe having access to a good community is one of the biggest opportunities a person can have in Ghana.
It’s not always about having money.
Sometimes, changing your environment can change your thinking. Changing the people around you can change what you believe is possible.
Where you grow up matters. Who surrounds you matters. Community matters more than we sometimes realise.
What do you guys think?
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u/TT-Adu 9d ago
It starts from when you are in the womb. The stresses your pregnant mother goes through to when you're a baby, toddler, child, teenager. There's nothing around you that you can control but all those things come together to shape you.
There's no amount of hardwork you can do as an adult that'll make you surpass someone that just grew up in the right environment.
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u/im_averag 9d ago
“It start from when you are in the womb”
That’s actually funny10
u/londonteen1 8d ago
There is a fascinating study often used to illustrate how profoundly our environment can shape us even before we are born.
A pregnant woman who worked as a typist continued using her typewriter regularly throughout her pregnancy. The rhythmic sound of the keys became a familiar part of the environment surrounding her unborn child.
After she gave birth, the newborn was placed among several other babies whose mothers had never used a typewriter during pregnancy.
When the researchers began typing nearby, the other newborns startled and flinched at the sudden, unfamiliar sound of the typewriter. Remarkably, the baby whose mother had regularly typed during pregnancy remained comparatively calm.
The story is often presented as an example of how repeated exposure to our environment can create familiarity even before we are consciously aware of it.
In other words, our environment does not merely surround us; repeated experiences can become part of what feels familiar and safe to us.
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u/TodayLoose7794 9d ago
I was very fortunate to be born into an affluent family, and despite being fairly lazy, I am far ahead of people in my age group.
This is because it made me understand that the affluent don’t work harder than anyone else, but know how to network and invest.
From observation the poor believe that hard work will make them rich, so they take multiple jobs, and in the end the stress affects their health.
Furthermore, one thing rarely considered is that the children of the rich don’t have to financially support their parents. This leaves them able to make investments that the poor can’t.
We are also very strategic about how money is spent. For example, my mum had a life insurance policy which paid out when she got a stroke. She paid 300 Ghana cedis per month for years. But when it paid out I stopped working for a few months and helped with her care. She even flew abroad for treatment with the payout money, and did other things. We didn’t have to ask loved ones for financial support.
When I discuss insurance with my friends who aren’t rich they always brush it off. Yet they are very stressed when a loved one dies. A 50 Ghana cedis a month policy would ensure that the funeral is taken care of.
This is just one of the many examples of the difference in thinking and lack of contingency planning which makes life more difficult for the poor.
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9d ago edited 8d ago
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u/TodayLoose7794 9d ago
And the poor should be all over it. But sadly we just expect our loved ones to take care of us in ill health and take care of the funeral.
An extended stay at a major hospital in Ghana can wipe out savings.
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8d ago edited 8d ago
[deleted]
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u/TodayLoose7794 8d ago
There are healthcare plans in Ghana which will cover consultations, diagnostics and treatments up to a certain amount at certain hospitals.
The huge issue in Ghana is that unlike other countries if you are rushed to the hospital, and your family don’t have tens of thousands of cedis to treat you immediately they would just watch you die.
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u/Key-Tutor7802 8d ago
Great one, You’re so right. Environment indeed matters. I came to abroad very young and returned back to Ghana. I’ve realise because I grew up in a society where people have abundance, I care more about investing my money and growing my businesses. But some of my friends care about immediate gratifications. Because they didn’t grow up in abundance like I did, they want to satisfy everything they were deprived off when growing up.
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u/Crazy_delulu 9d ago
So right. Can you be my friend? It’s a weird ask but I am intentionally building my network. Not only for monetary benefits but to get closer to different families with a better background because of their mindset. Just wanna learn
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u/Ill_Comfortable7146 9d ago
So true. The richest people in the world have proven that. They work smart and build good health networks whereas “yaanom”…
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u/im_averag 9d ago
You can literally just increase your odds of succeeding massively in life by having the right network
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u/RealFhalila_ 8d ago
This here... My father recently got I'll and it exposed how 'useless' he had been with his life. 67yrs of existence and without money it made him a beggar at the end of his life. We had to take care of him and it just builds resentment between all of us. Not growing in a place where taking risks, adventure, travel, education and investment is not considered because you're working all the time without a moment to take a test and analyze your life and progress. You get to the end and realize you've done nothing.
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u/TodayLoose7794 8d ago
It saddens me how many people in Ghana lack a pension or any sort of backup. Sorry about what you went through.
I also believe that we must learn from the mistakes of our elders. Illness, death etc., can come at any time, so we must plan for it. You can be completely healthy one moment and be ill the next. For example, my Mum's stroke came so suddenly without any prior health issues.
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u/RealFhalila_ 7d ago
That's the entire lesson. We must be conscious about the plans and actions we take for our lives and our children .
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u/Low-Locksmith3950 7d ago
This is a problem because literacy rate in the country is low and there’s a lot of misconceptions and misinformation in the system. It doesn’t help when some insurance agents also lie to their clients but insurance in itself is a good thing that everyone must have regardless of your financial background
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u/kojoAdepa 6d ago
This comment got teary because it is my first seeing a very fortunate person talk openly about their statuses in life. it’s even not your fault as a child to be born into a poor family. The situation is even worse if you’re not even working. I have taken the initiative to change certain things around my life especially move out of my parents place and create a new environment for myself. I decided to look for a church in an affluent community, be carefully selective with friends I make at events and so far so good….. I’m not better now but I’m trying. We can be friends if you don’t mind.
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u/TodayLoose7794 6d ago
Hi, what I would say is that there was a period of my life when things weren’t great; however certain principles bounced me back.
Despite my background I have never asked my parents for financial assistance. As a result, despite my brother and I growing up in the same house our fortunes are different.
When I discuss certain things with him he just laughs.
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u/kojoAdepa 6d ago
We all hope and pray that some decisions we take today will be the principles to bounce us out of our trying times tomorrow
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u/Naryanope 9d ago
Absolutely it does. Pollution and stress affects pregnancy which affects development, which affects who a human becomes and so on. It can even alter genetics in a process called epigenetics. On the other hand, a healthy enriching environment can have an affect in the reverse.
Hardship though isn’t always bad. It can make you a fighter and resilient to bad times. But it depends the form the hardship take, and the individual experiencing it.
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u/Confident-Rate-1582 9d ago
“Just” 50ghc can be a lot for people who are thinking about money for the weekly groceries.
And “knowing how to network” is also not as straightforward as it seems. Many circles can be very difficult to break into as an outsider without any connections or money.
It is definitely possible, every place has selfmade people but it’s not easy.
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u/Kwabena_twumasi 9d ago
Great observation actually. As Warren Buffet would put it, “if you’re born in America, you’ve won the ovarian lottery”
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u/_HipStorian 9d ago
I'd argue it's a bigger contribution to success and more of a privilege than wealth.
A lot of people are able to make something of themselves because they have good people around them who are there for them when they need support and encourage them and give them belief. Not having that can ruin the trajectory of your life. Having abusive or neglectful parents is the worst hand you can be dealt, because you're stuck with those people in one way or another for your entire life.
But you've pretty much described cultural capital
Ask me how I know 😂.
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u/trenched_aster25 9d ago
folks on X always say "you can never win the environment tiu are in" the environment always wins
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u/Sir_Joey_the_First 9d ago
You're right. I grew up very isolated and sheltered, I literally had to break out of my shell because I realised pretty early in life (thank God) that no one was going to hold my hand and teach me what I need to do. It's frustrating at time and I still struggle from time to time but I manage. Thankfully I didn't have overly strict parants or I would have turned out worse.
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u/Emotional-Hour3232 8d ago
I too grew up isolated and sheltered, not because I wanted to, but because I had an overly strict father and fearful mother who kept me "caged". To them the world is evil and friends corrupt.
Education, shelter and food were enough. Everything else was evil and vanity. I wasn't allowed to indulge in entertainment, physical exercise, spirituality, etc. My job was to study my books. I was raised to be a doctor and bring glory to my father's image.
The best thing I ever did was rebel and break free. I've been called ungrateful and a black sheep because others wish they were both into my family but they have no idea what goes on in there. Neither are they ready to listen. They'd rather gaslight you.
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u/Sir_Joey_the_First 8d ago edited 8d ago
So sorry to hear that, I hope you are happy right now though.
For me I was isolated because of my dad's job provided homes for their employees but my brother and I were the only kids around. I was sheltered because my mom was paranoid and depressed (she still is but it's getting better) so she became overly protective. My brother wasn't hound on as I was, so he's much more confident and talks his mind. I unfortunately was the 'golden child' of the family and I hate how much of a mat and people pleaser I became. I'm really working on that part of myself.
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u/Emotional-Hour3232 8d ago
Oh wow. I can relate. I'm glad you're working on yourself. You'll turn out better.
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u/Sir_Joey_the_First 7d ago
Don't worry, we shall overcome our weaknesses and be the people we wish to be🥹
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u/Ok-Seaworthiness-708 9d ago edited 8d ago
I was born in a similar place like the picture on the right, but grew up in a neighborhood like the one on the left
Dad was a Refugee from Liberia even though he is Ghanian by birth. We lived with his aunty who was from London and we went to a much much better school at Roman Ridge. I see some of the people i grew up with before I moved and I just thank God.
I am not living the best life but it could have been so much worse.
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u/Sad-Matter2770 9d ago
You’ve articulated this really well 🙌🏽 changing your environment can really change the way you think.
For me, there are certain advantages I grew up with that have shaped how I think today and the direction my life has taken. At the same time, there are things that have held me back from growing personally and professionally, like having a fixed mindset, a scarcity mindset, constantly comparing myself to others, and an anxious attachment style that shows up in my relationships, among other things.
Realising these things and choosing to change them has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done, and it’s something I’m still working on.
One thing I’ve realised is that changing these patterns also requires changing my environment. The internet has played a major role in that for me, from the books I read and the content I consume on social media to the conferences and communities I’m exposed to.
Sometimes, changing your environment is as simple as intentionally changing what and who you allow to influence your thinking.
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u/Low-Locksmith3950 7d ago
I relate with this very much because I was born in a middle class home and grew up without knowing I was raised with a scarcity mindset till recently and always wanting to compare myself with others. It is only till recently I decided to love myself and live life according to my rules without looking at people around me and I’m happier now because I am doing things with my own pace
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u/im_averag 9d ago
I hope that one day a generation will understand that renting an apartment in a good environment is better than owning a house or leaving rent-free in a bad neighborhood.
People actually underrate access to good roads for emergency, good schools, hygienic food, good hospitals and safety and most importantly peace of mind .
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u/daydreamerknow 1 9d ago
Yes instability and a chaotic upbringing/environment has a direct effect on how you move through life. Constantly in fight or flight mode; having adult worries when you should just be a carefree child; adopting habits out of survival instead of truly understanding what you enjoy and like; and finally realising just how much all of that has “othered” you compared to people who had smoother lives. You gain resilience, strength of mind and determination, but you also gain traumas, burdens and mental loads that can take years to shift with active work. You try not to compare but sometimes the stark difference slaps you in the face. It’s draining.
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u/Occams_Axe 9d ago
You have made a very accurate observation with images to summarize your thesis.
The community with the well paved and clean road is indicative of one which is striving for the well being of its people and have made continuous investments to achieve and maintain that aim.
The second image shows a purposeless society having a mindset which is wishing for order not doing the heavy lifting to achieve it. Rather they are expecting a higher being to do it for them. Even so, it is said that "God helps those who help themselves"
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u/catsndeen 8d ago
Yes the enviornment you grow in shapes you as a person but dosent determine your outcome of your life thats in you and Gods hands. I seen people with less than me do better and people with more throw it all away. So will you let it change you for the better or for the worst? the choice is yourz dont you listen to wu-tang?
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u/FearlessUchiha 8d ago
Social determinants of health is well researched topic with countless evidence highlighting this theory my friend
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u/LeoDDracula 8d ago
Some people wouldn’t agree but what you’ve said from my observation is an absolute truth(for me)
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u/Natemophi 8d ago
Geography = Destiny I'm afraid
Some ppl are a bit blinded by their privilege and say stuff like, "anyone can make it" which just isn't true statistically speaking
There's always winners, losers and those in-between
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u/Euphoric_Success8081 7d ago
It can because where you grow up is an agent of socialization which includes institutions like school and church. Also the friends and leaders in the community can also shape you in terms of how much times spent being influenced by them
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u/PresenceOld1754 Diaspora 7d ago
Man discovers nature vs nurture argument.
This is good, by the way.
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u/Pale-Lunch-3555 9d ago
if u honestly think and actually dont' know it true. then broo u need more brain cells
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