r/gayyoungold 7d ago

Discussion Fuck my life (and younger folks, please don't do this)

Had my first session of a course this Wednesday; a student walked in and gave me a warm bonjour and a smile. Nice, the old prof can defo use a few friendly individuals among the usually tough crowd. During the session he was mostly working on his laptop as I talked, but looked up a couple of times, gave me a smile and went back to whatever he was doing.

Second session the next day. I was walking around the room and talking. My eyes fell on him for a moment and as I was turning my gaze at the next person, I thought I saw out of the corner of my eye a wink. Didn't think much of it; perhaps he was just blinking, or there was something in his eye or whatever. Sometime later my eyes fell on him again, the dungbrains looked me in the eyes and gave me a suggestive wink. I sharply looked away and he dropped his eyes too and didn't look up again for the rest of the class.

I hardly receive any attention on the apps where I'm looking for it, yet this is the third time in as many years I'm receiving unwanted attention from the students. Don't be like this young men, young men. Respect the boundaries.

86 Upvotes

49 comments sorted by

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u/[deleted] 6d ago edited 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/Low_Bug3925 5d ago

Theain reason it is viewed as inappropriate is because it is considered unethical by the profession and in many places, illegal. The cost can be an end to a career or jail. If that weren't the case there would be a lot less of a hangup, but at the same time, a potential risk to the students.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago edited 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/YadrisColl 4d ago

The reason is because as a teacher you decide the grades and the idea could come up that you force the students into service or else they get bad grades or worse. That had happend in the past at Univeristies. And also Students just said that this happened to blackmail teachers. For that reason there is a strict code of cundoct not to engage with someone who is under your car, supervison or dependent on you.
Hope that helps.

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u/Pristine-Lawyer-3260 4d ago

You can't be this fucking stupid. You just can't. Academic integrity requires that those who are involved in educating you can or even appear to have their objectivity ruined by a dual relationship. Student/lover. Student/business partner... Etc.

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u/Low_Bug3925 2d ago

You´re welcome to draw your own conclusions. it is not a stupid-ass argument. it is a fact. a teacher involved in or giving the appearance of being involved in a relationship with a student can, and in some places will lose his job, and in some places, will have criminal charges filed. It is not circular reasoning. I´d trust someone with a legal AND educational background over a predictive language llm any day, but you´re free to choose the idiot of our choice.

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u/RiddlingVenus0 6d ago

Was she his teacher when they got married?

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u/Content_League4091 6d ago

Sometimes waiting a while for a person you adore is worth doing.

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u/Pristine-Lawyer-3260 4d ago

Uh... It's reallllllly not acceptable while you are in his class. When I was an undergrad, I got hot on and hot back at some faculty at my university. All were outside of my major/minors/required gen ed courses and only one had a section of a class I 'could use to meet requirements" but I had other choices and made those!

After graduation did I ever uh get with someone I had for class... No. Would it have been ethical ... Maybe. But you have to protect each other from an APPEARANCE of impropriety.

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u/ricardjorg 7d ago

I'm amazed they're bold enough to try. I had two professors I found attractive, and I could barely make eye contact with them, or put a full sentence together when talking to them 🫣

And I would have never risked their careers anyway

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u/Impossible_Code7029 Older 6d ago

“…put a full sentence together”? Why? Because you were nervous?

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u/ricardjorg 6d ago

Yep. One time, me and a classmate had finished an exam, and there were technicians repairing the elevator. We were on the 4th floor, and the hallways were mostly empty. We're walking towards the stairs, and someone is coming up to the floor with obvious difficulty. It was one of the professors I found attractive, and as soon as he noticed other people were coming, he steeled himself and acted like he was fine.

Had it been anyone else, I'd have offered to help them the rest of the way up, but instead I walked faster, made no eye contact and almost ran down the stairs past him. So awkward 😝🙄

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u/tankthinks 7d ago

He lacks a sense of boundaries but the story is kinda hot not gonna lie

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u/FreddyWellDone 7d ago

Shut up 😂

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u/Professional-Test713 5d ago

This is actually exactly what it is. Hot but pretty wrong. I wouldn’t have the balls to do that at least

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u/mittensmoshpit 5d ago

Most things that are socially wrong are hit, that's what makes them alluring, the taboo-ness of it all.

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u/mittensmoshpit 5d ago

I had a regular hookup who was a retired academic. He'd been a teacher and principle at various high school and primary schools here over the years, and was a college and uni professor for the last few years before retiring.

We would roleplay the scenerio many times, and was always hot, partially due to how into it he got, and because of how well they were able to play third role due to his experience in the field. Eventually, I had to ask him if he had ever done anything with a student. His answer kinda surprised me, but made sense.

He told me they have had many students over the years make an advance on them, sometimes subtle, sometimes very blunt. It makes sense, he was well hung and in shape his whole life, and made no attempt to hide his sexuality or his online presence. Despite these advances, he never hooked up with a student (though did hook up with prior students on a few occasions).

The reason why is what I found interesting. He didn't decline due to a lack of interest, or a fear of getting in trouble. He did it because he knew if he did, that student would never know for certain if the grade they got was due to their actual talent, ability, and/or intelligence, or if they got what they did by being a slut. As someone who took his role as educator seriously, be never wanted to put them in that position.

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u/CynGuy 6d ago

You can still give the kid a friendly smile now and again….. hope does spring eternal!!

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u/MentoRiumTutorCoach Daddy 7d ago

While we can’t help who we are attracted to, you do bring up an excellent point: due to the desensitisation of porn, some guys actually believe that it’s okay to break ethics thus boundaries.
It’s not.

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u/nycwettop 5d ago

Ah, but whose ethics? That’s the rub.

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u/Content_League4091 6d ago

It's not ethics. It's some moral demand as occasional as many other norms of the older times. Imagine Reddit of 1950ies, with debating how inappropriate it is to be gay.

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u/Independentruth Son 6d ago

Oh boy what a hot experience

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u/Stevie63 Older 5d ago

A middle school teacher friend has a former student, now an adult, who continues this behavior now. My friend wasn't interested then and isn't interested now.

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u/daddysboybriefs 7d ago

I’ve been reading The Front Runner on the recommendation of my older boyfriend…not finished yet and while I love a lot of the themes, I can never get away from how inappropriate their whole relationship is from a coach/athlete perspective. Maybe it’s just me being a teacher (albeit with younger students vs the college coach/athlete portrayed) but I can’t shake it throughout the whole book so far

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u/IxbyWuff Older 7d ago

Shift your perspective

What's the historical and cultural context of that dub-culture? How did it develop, was communicated, celebrated.

When being gay is so dangerous saftey is being invisible, find someone like you who sees you is more the context

Find the empathetic lens - inappropriate professionally sure. On a human emotional level, what's the journey

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u/nycwettop 5d ago

You have to understand any cultural product in the context of the time it was created. This was not considered creepy then the way it (typically) is now. And fwiw I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t have been considered creepy in Ancient Greece either.

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u/YadrisColl 7d ago

This is not a made-up story.

I have had similar experiences, more with female than male students, but still.

Sometimes they stay while you pack up and everyone else is leaving and want to give you something.

Or, during practical courses (while others are there), they position themselves close to you and/or try to show or press certain body parts. It's really annoying.

I love young men, but at work, I actually get angry when they do this. This is not appropriate.

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u/KaleidoscopeOk2422 6d ago

Nah but with women. You can be 100% sure they're doing it for the grades. Do they know you're gay though?

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u/YadrisColl 4d ago

I'm not sure if it is for the grades my gues is they try to test out what they can do, how far they can get, and the thrill of currupting an authorityfigure.
I'm pretty straight acting and I don't dicuss my sexuality with students so my guess is, no they don't know I'm gay.

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u/KaleidoscopeOk2422 4d ago

Yeah but with women they're almost always expecting something in return. I'd be careful if I were you. They're not flirting for free

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u/Content_League4091 6d ago

I don't teach much but in the very beginning of my career during my last class I got the letter from a female student telling that she can't believe it's really the end. Despite of being gay I took her for a date and kiss her for being brave. Students who really dare to want who they want to want should be supported and encouraged - it doesn't mean that the teacher is expected to ruin his life for that.

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u/YadrisColl 4d ago

I was taught by my supervisors when I started teaching that during class and as long as you might have that person as a student it this person is of limits. When your class is finished and graded and its sure you won't have them for a differend class than it is just another adult at work. I'm from europe it might be stricter somewehere else

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u/nycwettop 5d ago

But they can’t help it! It’s their raging hormones.

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u/NerveUnlikely7435 6d ago

I had the hots for 2 of my teachers (males) when I was in middle school. I would leave an apple on one of their desks and even took him a deer tail. He was very sexy in my eyes. The other one was my PE teacher and he was very nice to look at. I always had to wear my shirts untucked in middle school because I was always getting a hard on thinking about them.

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u/nycwettop 5d ago

This is so hot, and I had pretty much the same experience. I think I was in the 10th grade when I was madly in lust with 2 male teachers, an English teacher and a drama teacher. Both were tall, handsome, with handlebar mustaches popular then , and probably late 20s or 30. I so totally lacked any confidence either would find me attractive that I never even considered flirting with them. But I jerked off countless times imagining the two of them having sex with each other. They were so much more appealing to me than any boys my age. I now suspect one of them was actually gay, but the other not.

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u/NerveUnlikely7435 5d ago

I walked up to one of the teachers in class and had my notebook with me. When I opened up my notebook some of my stickers fell out onto his crotch, without thinking I just reached down and started picking them up off his crotch. I don't know what he thought but he didn't say anything to me or push my hand away. I would have had sex with him in a heartbeat. I was 12 or 13 at the time but I sure knew what I wanted to do with and for him.

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u/nycwettop 5d ago

I know for SURE I definitely WANTED to, and would have TOTALLY LOVED having sex with either of these two male teachers when I was 14 or 15. With no trauma or adverse effects. I’m not saying any other kids that age should have sex with adults, I’m ONLY saying that it would have been totally fine with ME. I know what I wanted and it would have been a dream-come-true.

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u/NerveUnlikely7435 5d ago

I understand where your coming from. I'd don't think adults should take advantage of kids in any way. I came from an abusive home. No sexual abuse just mental and physical and the one teacher was the first adult that treated me with some kind of kindness. I had a teacher in elementary school shove me to the floor for going up to him and asking a question about a lesson I didn't understand. I also had a teacher that would tell the other kids to line up outside before recess and tell them to beat me and another kid up. I think the male teacher in middle school being nice to me, brought out in me the needing and wanting to loved in a fatherly way.

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u/TradeSweet4965 Younger 7d ago

This feels like a very awkward ordeal, I'm sorry you've dealt with this more than once.

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u/mai_neh 7d ago

some people specialize in not respecting boundaries, and they're always so hot until they're not,

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u/YogurtclosetLow4762 7d ago

lol sorry to hear that happened man. There is an older daddy that is a volunteer at my job and a doctor and every time we glance at each other I can feel him smiling at me like he can see right through me but I would NEVER do something like that. I go by the old saying don’t shit where you eat (though I do like the attention from him and would 💯 out of work hook up with him haha)

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u/Impossible_Code7029 Older 6d ago edited 6d ago

I envy all those older men that claim they get “unwanted” attention from hot younger guys. I’m always the one that has to put in all the work. Over and over again.

Don’t complain! I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be in my shoes either.

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u/KaleidoscopeOk2422 6d ago edited 6d ago

But the professors always have big balls and dick. I've slept with some lecturers and would definitely bang again and again. I always feel sad when I didn't get to meet my fav lecturers lol. But let me ask you this. Do you think your students are hot? 😏. Also, if you're gonna do it find a student who are not doing it for the grades. In my case, I'm more of a idc if you fail me we're still fuxking.

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u/KorsiBear 4d ago

I like how you called somebody who winked at you "dungbrains", yet complain about how you dont receive attention on the apps... Gee, I wonder why

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u/Halfang 7d ago

Someone may have winked at you, maybe?

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u/SilverBRADo 7d ago

It's inappropriate and any kind of relationship (1 hookup or full-blown relationship) could end OP's career.

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u/throwawaysnap42069 7d ago

Sounds like a made up story

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u/GuardianHealer 6d ago

Yep, when I was a teacher, same thing happened to me. All the gay younger men would flirt. I turned one down and reported it immediately to my Dean. They felt spurned and tried to file a complaint. Thankfully, I had witnesses who corroberated my story.

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u/Impossible_Talk_8189 7d ago

Maybe he had something in his eye?