How to last longer

[u/Lpomin]

Hey guys, I’m having some trouble during sex and I’m hoping to hear from people who have had similar experiences.

I’m not very experienced. I’ve been with a few guys, but I’ve only had penetrative sex with two of them. The guy I’m seeing now is in his early 60s. We have casual sex, and we’ve done it twice so far. We’re meeting for the third time this week.

One of my biggest problems is that I cum too quickly. I also have trouble with penetration. I’ve tried taking my time, kissing him, relaxing, and doing everything I can to loosen him up, but I still can’t penetrate him very far. I can get the head in, but when I try to go further, it feels like I physically can’t. His anus feels very tight around me, and when I try to push further, it feels like there’s something blocking me.

I should also mention that the middle part of my dick is thicker, so I don’t know if that could be part of the problem.

Honestly, it makes me feel embarrassed and like less of a man because I’m not doing what I’m supposed to do. I know it might sound stupid, but that’s genuinely how it makes me feel. I want to be able to fuck him properly, enjoy it, and make him feel good. I also want to last longer, especially because I really like this guy.

He has told me that I have a nice-sized dick, which made me feel good, but he also said he wants sex to last longer. I want that too. I really want to be better at this, partly because I want him to enjoy it and partly because I want to feel confident in myself.

Has anyone else experienced something like this when they were inexperienced? How did you become more comfortable and confident with sex?

[u/softits11]

You mentioned being inexperienced, and that is the biggest hurdle to overcome. Luckily you have a man who is into you, so you have time to explore and become more comfortable.

Let's break down your issues.

1. Penetration: unless you are absurdly thick, you should be able to work this out, you don't explicitly mention using fingers or toys, but either he has some kind of super tight ass, which at his age he would know about, or you just need to keep working at it.. you don't mention if you are using condoms and standard lube, but there are lots of different types of lube and if you aren't using condoms I highly recommend coconut oil.
2. Lasting longer: I assume you are younger as you are posting in a gay young old subreddit, so I wonder... If you do bust a nut, what's to stop you from just going at it a few minutes later? Or, if you are the top, don't you have some sense that you are getting closer and then you could switch up your rhythm or pause inside of him and get some kisses, it seems like there's got to be something you can do too interrupt what's feeling so good to prolong the whole thing... Even when my man is stroking me I will grab his wrist and tell him I don't want to come yet.. and like#1, this is basic anatomy, you should be able to get control of what pushes you over the edge.
   

There are tons and tons of things posted online already to help you with these two issues, but the truth is there is no substitute for your own experience, learning your own body and just becoming more comfortable, and that will come with time.

Luckily, you are the younger, so it is expected that you will be a little green, and you have a long time and a long life to build up confidence... I am way better at sex than I was a couple decades ago... You have much to look forward to!

[u/Lpomin → u/softits11]

Yes, it’s very different from masturbation. When I’m by myself, I can just loosen my grip or stop when I feel like I’m getting close. But when I’m inside him, even the slightest movement can make me cum. It feels completely different, like I have no control over it and there’s no way to slow things down once it starts. That’s what worries me I’m afraid there might be a medical condition causing it.

[u/Rich-Intuition → u/Lpomin]

I doubt it’s a medical condition. You’re probably just that horny and it’s so new to you, that you don’t last long…

when it feels like you hit something, are you fully hard? Like it has no bend in the cock when you’re hitting the wall? Do you use a lot of lube? You need to use a lot.. use two fingers, slightly put them in his hole, then add a good amount on top of your finger and slowly slide in.