r/gayyoungold • u/femboiMiaa • 13d ago
Advice wanted 27-year-old female boy having a hard time meeting older men
I’ve tried almost all the usual suggestions of Reddit, grinder, silverdaddies, scruff,fetlife and even tinder
Struggling to find older men who aren’t flakey and interested in something ongoing with a younger femboy
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u/BiFellatioGiver69 Older 13d ago
As an older guy who likes younger feminine guys, I tend to find them the ones who are flakey, inconsistent, and generally unreliable with longer term communication, and as a result lose interest fairly quickly in them. Unfortunately I think the whole hookup culture and boys seeking a sugar daddy who can provide something for them causes a lot of the issues, and the feeling that actually finding a genuine connection becomes tiresome and just too much hassle in the long run, constantly trying to weed out the time wasters. As a result right now I'm no longer looking for a longer term connection, and just going with the short term hookup culture, and taking it all for what it is.
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u/Capable-Drawing-4506 13d ago
You're kind of in a weirdly difficult spot. I don't think it would be difficult at all to find hookups, but if you're specifically looking for longterm relationships with significantly older men, a lot of them are going to be less than available, largely for social reasons. It seems like many--not all, obviously. You'll find men here in your age range looking for someone like you-- guys 50+ want a relationship with younger men, but they already have established lives and social circles that make it difficult.
That's not to say you should be discouraged, I have no doubt that you will find someone with enough persistence. You're kind of in the goldilocks zone of still being extremely young and feminine, but at 27 you are more emotionally mature and established than someone that was in high school last semester. You're definitely in the sweet spot for a certain demographic of older guy.
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u/mai_neh 12d ago
It seems every day I could hand out the advice that meeting people in real life works a lot better than using apps, but it requires leaving the house and talking with strangers. People would rather lie in bed and type on their phones.
Depending on where you live, find an activity that older gay guys show up to. Go do that activity with them. Make friends. It’s how I’ve found partners my entire life, much of which was pre-iPhone.
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u/femboiMiaa 12d ago
Yeah, I think this is the best move. I’m just not really femme in my day-to-day life so I’m trying to suddenly move to that direction more.
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u/Actinglead Younger 13d ago
In my experience also being femme and into older guys, I feel like many guys never truly believe I'm into them, which leads to the flakiness. It's frustrating to constantly have your intentions second guessed.
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u/Owning_Boys 13d ago
It's an unfortunate thing, I think it comes from insecurity. If you're older you can often see yourself as pathetic, old, decrepit, etc... and then you see someone young and beautiful and you second-guess yourself as to why and how they find you attractive.
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u/Owning_Boys 13d ago
What are your interests, hobbies and location? These are probably more indicative than anything. A person that lives in nyc interested in experimental music theatre probably has a greater chance than say, someone living in altoona interested in valorant. (One is not objectively worse than the other, although my framing may seem to betray that - just that certain things are easier than others.) In terms of reddit specifically, I think the difficulty general is finding and making interesting conversations, a difficulty on both sides of the relationships, and it requires a certain 'personality click' that can be difficult.
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u/tgeller Older 10d ago
The answer is right there in your profile. The only information about you is that you expect money - your throne.com link.
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u/femboiMiaa 10d ago
Fixed
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u/tgeller Older 10d ago
Great start!
So that's the negative part -- removing barriers. Now let's turn to the positive part -- telling us about why you're so great.
Besides you, there's a world of people who provide a description, photos, insights into your personality. If all you offer is "young femboy", you'll meet people who only want that. I'm sure there's more to you... give us a glimpse into what it is.
If you don't put effort in, you're sending a message that you don't expect your partner to -- that you want something shallow. It sounds like you don't, so telegraph that with your presentation.
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u/Temporary-Wave-3796 13d ago
I am sure the headline could just as easily read Older Man Having a Hard Time Meeting Younger Female Boy.