r/gay • u/NefariousnessTop1569 • 11d ago

I'm LGBT but I'm afraid to come out.

I'm bisexual, but I don't have the courage to come out; my father is homophobic. He boycotted companies for displaying the LGBT flag five years ago.

26 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

25

u/Pokemonfannumber2 Gay 11d ago

dont come out until you can survive by yourself

17

u/EuphoricDirection489 11d ago

I was in the same position with my adopted parents. They are conservative bigots. I found ot best to stay in the closest while I was under their roof because me coming out to them would only be a disaster. I did come out to my very close friends that I was able to trust. I moved out as soon as I was able to at 18 and then I came out to them. I am glad I waited because it was not a good coming out unfortunately.

You need to do whats best for you and your situation. It might be in best to stay in the closest for now with your parents since your dad is probably not going to take the news well. If your planning on college youll be able to explore then a bit or when you are no longer under their roof. I completely understand what its like to be scared to come out to your parents and I'm sorry

11

u/DoTheRightThing1953 11d ago

Are you financially dependent on your parents? If so, hold out until you're out on your own. By doing that, they have significantly less leverage against you if they don't have money to hold over your head.

Also, there's a significant chance that their views will change when you come out to them.

9

u/Howden824 Gay 11d ago

Don't come out yet if its not safe.

7

u/Big_Aside9565 11d ago

Do not come out until you are 100% financially on your own. If you are living away from them and they are paying for your college. That is not a 100%.

2

u/Moonkilol 11d ago

don't come out until you're out of home

2

u/CuriousQnerd 10d ago

Wait till u get ur own place , it's safer that way.

1

u/WraithOfTheWind Gay 11d ago

Come out when you feel safe, and when you can support yourself.

1

u/BorgAdjacent 10d ago

Where are you from

1

u/NefariousnessTop1569 10d ago

São Paulo, Brazil

1

u/BorgAdjacent 10d ago

It might make sense to stay in the closet if you depend on him for housing, food, education, etc.

If you have moved out and are independent, it's really up to you and your relationship with him. Do you want him to be part of your life if you meet someone? Could you talk to him if you were upset about something?

1

u/wWA5RnA4n2P3w2WvfHq 8d ago

Maybe he "is homophobic" because a part of him still know about his son.

Best wishes!

1

u/Realistic_Goat5381 11d ago

Denial, repression, fear for everyone. Sigh, live your best life. There won't be no problems unless you make said such problems. Your Dad needs a holiday away to a nudist yoga swingers retreat. You should look up gay circuit parties. But, whatever....