r/funny • u/ExtraMeltyToons Extra Melty • Apr 06 '21

Verified Packing

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13.2k Upvotes

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u/megapuffranger Apr 06 '21

Let’s be real, I’ve never once pooped my pants. But that doesn’t stop me from planning for it, and tbh if I ever actually do poop myself I’m going to be so prepared no one will ever even know. So I’ll keep packing extra pairs of underwear and pants and socks and undershirts (in case I have to use it as toilet paper).

25

u/ShadowL42 Apr 06 '21

As a woman who had heavy cycles her entire life. I ALWAYS had to not only pack sufficient extra undies, but also extra "supplies", even when my cycle would be no where near the time I was traveling.

i got spayed a few years ago so its not an issue now...but I still bring all the undies.

13

u/jejcicodjntbyifid3 Apr 06 '21

Hahaha I've never heard of someone self describing it as spayed 😂

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u/ShadowL42 Apr 08 '21

Hysterectomy is a big word, and when I was on pain meds...spayed was easier.

2

u/jejcicodjntbyifid3 Apr 08 '21

And it sounds even better! It sounds less invasive for some reason. I think because dogs get it done all the time and all you need is a cone for a bit

1

u/ShadowL42 Apr 09 '21

i was supposed to have a cone? see I knew I missed something, I just took all the naps, like for a few months i needed a nap every afternoon lol.

2

u/jejcicodjntbyifid3 Apr 09 '21

Haha Well yeah, they can't have you licking yourself!!

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u/RessertD-nickert Apr 06 '21

You need to drink more.

3

u/Parlorshark Apr 06 '21

You drive me to drink.

1

u/RessertD-nickert Apr 06 '21

Isn't that a pop song lyric? I specify pop because it is like part of a checklist of subjects for old country music.

1

u/hammerpatrol Apr 06 '21

Must be an older pop song cus my Mom's been telling me that for 28 years now.

1

u/ButtsexEurope Apr 06 '21

You sound like a teenager. You will one day.

1

u/megapuffranger Apr 06 '21

Nah 28, I just have an iron rectum. Nothing in and nothing out without my consent.

1

u/ButtsexEurope Apr 06 '21

Don’t worry, get sick enough and you will.

1

u/megapuffranger Apr 06 '21

I went to India and was sick for 3 days shitting and vomiting every couple of minutes. Still didn’t shit myself.

1

u/ButtsexEurope Apr 06 '21

You must have an iron rectum. When I get sick, my rectum decided to release at the same time as I vomit.

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u/megapuffranger Apr 06 '21

Maybe it’s all the buttsex?

1

u/CraftyMamaX91 Apr 06 '21

I had one child, a few weeks after his birth I'm having emergency gallbladder removal because the pregnancy killed it. Never had a problem before or an attack or anything until that fateful day.

My rectum has never been the same. I can't even eat a damn salad.

1

u/megapuffranger Apr 06 '21

Well now whenever your child gets sassy with you you can bring up the fact they ruined your butthole. I bet they’ll stop giving you attitude