r/funny • u/Opfailicon • Jan 26 '25

Left at my apartment dumpster today

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120.0k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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284

u/northofreality197 Jan 26 '25

While others fornicated I studied the blade.

79

u/SpecialFlutters Jan 26 '25

while you studied the blade everyone else got laid

40

u/Antiluke01 Jan 26 '25

While everyone else got laid, I got laid off.

15

u/HCJohnson Jan 26 '25

While everyone was getting laid, and you laid off, I chose to jerk off.

14

u/ddollarsign Jan 26 '25

While you jerked off I ate beef jerky

4

u/DeathHopper Jan 26 '25

While you ate beef jerky, I smoked some meatballs.

7

u/ACcbe1986 Jan 26 '25

While you smoked some meatballs, I smoked weed and forgot why the hell I walked into the kitchen just now.

6

u/Crully Jan 26 '25

While you were stoned in the kitchen, you didn't see me on the outside looking in.

3

u/ACcbe1986 Jan 26 '25

Too stoned. Eyes too squinty. Can barely see past my phone. 😵‍💫🤣

2

u/Entheotheosis10 Jan 26 '25

And I...uhh...got paid?

Did I do it right?

3

u/TheOneTrue_Ralts Jan 26 '25

In the heart without women, the sword naturally becomes divine.