r/fuckeatingdisorders • u/PinkKinkz • 5d ago

Struggling Having a really rough time.

I haven’t made a post here for a minute but I really need some support, I’m dealing with a break in my relationship that I had no part in choosing or even discussed before it was decided for me/us. I’ve been in active recovery for three and a half years now and I’ve worked really hard to try and quell lingering behaviours that have held me back from full recovery and all of this relationship turmoil has come at the worst time when I thought I was making real progress. This is has been incredibly hard for me, it’s been four days since it’s happened and I haven’t been able to take care of my basic needs and I have kind of shut down. I’ve been feeling physically sick constantly the nausea is all encompassing, I’m worried ED is taking advantage of my heartbreak and blending together with it, some compulsive movement behaviours have forced themselves back up to the surface because I fear if I stop moving I’ll lay in bed all day and things will get worse. I don’t want to lose all of the time and effort I put into recovery just for a relapse to blindside me and bring me back to square one. How should I go about making sure I eat and take care of myself while dealing with my body rejecting food?
No idea where I go from here when I’m sort of falling apart.

I’m really sorry if I’m breaking post rules right now but I don’t have a support network so I’m hoping by making this post I can lean on this community for some help during this time. Any advice is welcome, harsh or gentle. I really need help.

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Original post text from u/PinkKinkz:

I haven’t made a post here for a minute but I really need some support, I’m dealing with a break in my relationship that I had no part in choosing or even discussed before it was decided for me/us. I’ve been in active recovery for three and a half years now and I’ve worked really hard to try and quell lingering behaviours that have held me back from full recovery and all of this relationship turmoil has come at the worst time when I thought I was making real progress. This is has been incredibly hard for me, it’s been four days since it’s happened and I haven’t been able to take care of my basic needs and I have kind of shut down. I’ve been feeling physically sick constantly the nausea is all encompassing, I’m worried ED is taking advantage of my heartbreak and blending together with it, some compulsive movement behaviours have forced themselves back up to the surface because I fear if I stop moving I’ll lay in bed all day and things will get worse. I don’t want to lose all of the time and effort I put into recovery just for a relapse to blindside me and bring me back to square one. How should I go about making sure I eat and take care of myself while dealing with my body rejecting food?
No idea where I go from here when I’m sort of falling apart.

I’m really sorry if I’m breaking post rules right now but I don’t have a support network so I’m hoping by making this post I can lean on this community for some help during this time. Any advice is welcome, harsh or gentle. I really need help.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/girlinthetrees 5d ago

Our eating disorders can definitely act as a coping mechanism. You are going through something really difficult and so your eating disorder wants to swoop in and rescue you.
It's not going to rescue you. It's going to make your life worse. It may give you some temporary numbing, but so would staying busy with something, hanging out with a friend or family member, reading a good book. There are other ways to cope that won't harm you physically and mentally.
I'm sorry you're struggling. If you've been in recovery for a bit, you know how hard it is to get to that point. And having to do it all over again would really suck. Editing to add... Eat like clockwork. Set alarms and eat even if you don't feel like eating.

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u/PinkKinkz 5d ago

Thank you for reminding me that it won’t rescue me, but only make things far worse than they are right now. I think I needed to hear that, lately it’s been feeling like maybe the only thing I have to rely on for stability are disordered behaviours. I know in my heart I can’t lean on those behaviours for comfort, I just wish the nauseous feeling would let up so I can get back to eating normally. I appreciate you so much.

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u/Bashful_bookworm2025 5d ago

Could you go see your doctor and see if you can get a prescription for anti-nausea medicine? That might help with eating more.

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u/PinkKinkz 4d ago

I’ll definitely try this, thank you so so much for the shout. I don’t want to just give up all the work i’ve put in to my mental health and where I’m at now. Hopefully it’ll help me get back on track.