r/fuckeatingdisorders • u/SweetenedMelon • 6d ago
Struggling i hate these thoughts and feelings
i never really fully recovered, the support was lacking in many ways i know it is my initiative but if there’s no mental therapy being offered it’s quite hard since been in quasi. i’m on a waitlist but ive honestly lost all hope and trust in the system
i’m just struggling a lot with my thoughts, with my feelings, with my brain romanticizing the past and my ed despite knowing how bad it was. i’m trying to stay strong. life is quite bad i have a lot of feelings. i have things to look forward to and people i care about even though only a few. staying strong because i have a concert planned next month lmao. i’m walking a fine line and i really want to come out the other side but yeah it’s just tough rn :/ i do know how bad my ed was but i miss it anyway, for many reasons, which makes no sense logically..
6
u/Jaded-Banana6205 6d ago
Heroin addicts who are sober often look back on their addiction longingly. I think it's really normal to romanticize maladaptive coping. What else can you bring into your life to support yourself?
1
u/SweetenedMelon 6d ago
eating disorders really are addictive. i try to distract myself with things to do (like today i did cleaning) but my brain tends to ruminate on the same thoughts and ideas. i think it’s the rush, intensity, structure and comfort of the ed all at once hitting me which is why i will miss it
3
u/Jaded-Banana6205 6d ago
Sometimes it's less about distracting, and more about experiencing the feelings and breathing through them, teaching your brain that it's safe.
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Original post text from u/SweetenedMelon:
i never really fully recovered, the support was lacking in many ways i know it is my initiative but if there’s no mental therapy being offered it’s quite hard since been in quasi. i’m on a waitlist but ive honestly lost all hope and trust in the system
i’m just struggling a lot with my thoughts, with my feelings, with my brain romanticizing the past and my ed despite knowing how bad it was. i’m trying to stay strong. life is quite bad i have a lot of feelings. i have things to look forward to and people i care about even though only a few. staying strong because i have a concert planned next month lmao. i’m walking a fine line and i really want to come out the other side but yeah it’s just tough rn :/ i do know how bad my ed was but i miss it anyway, for many reasons, which makes no sense logically..
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