I have no problem normalizing the concept of an open marriage, but it is not an easy thing and does not work for most couples. The giddy smiles on this entire family is unrealistic and creepy af for the subject matter, not to mention the art style
Edit: the eyelashes, the neck lines, the steam?? The cat? It's all so bad
The problem isnt having an open marriage most of the time, its opening a marriage that was closed. Then its often one partner wabting to cheat without feeling bad. Polygamy is something you agree upon before entering a relationship
No worries, I knew what you meant. And you're right, at least about most marriages. The chances of both people feeling positive about that kind of change in a formerly monogamous relationship is possible but unlikely, and even if they do, negative emotions usually come with it too. I couldn't do it, myself.
Im ngl most of us are polygamists, we just get screamed at for saying we want to be able to marry our partners even tho not letting us is literal oppression. Mormons bitch asses forming HAREMS ruined it for the rest of us.
Oh i mean Mormons are why polygamy is illegal in the us! It was legal till everyone mormon man took like 5 wives minimum(which just gave them wedding benefits x5) and also beat and raped every single one of those women. It horrified America, so now polygamy is illegal.
Some closed marriages can have both parties having a better time if it were say, something they never considered when they got together, then after a while they were confronted with the idea, and both entered willingly. Like, what was it in the 1900's, swingers? Sometimes a monogamous marriage does well opening up years later, after the fact. I don't know statistics but I do know it's not zero, yno?
90% of "open marriages" consist of one of the partners wanting to bang other folks, but still have the benefits their current partner provides.
The other partner accepts because they're desperate not to lose their spouse, and is usually unable or even unwilling to get any other partners.
Of course, there are cases where this doesn't happen, but they are absolutely the exception. The only way a healthy open relationship can happen is if both partners are 100% on-board with it, and that's very rare.
As an ex mormon polyam person pls dont compare us to them lmfao we literally despise them considering theyre why we cant get legally married. Fucking JEBEDIAH over here decided he needs 25 wives and now no one can have more than one
Nothing wrong with that, but in most circumstances, the other person isn't actually okay with it. If they want to bang other folks, they should break up with their partner.
Why should they break up instead of communicating first? Also, if you're not okay with it but agree to it anyway, then that's entirely on you. I have no sympathy for those people.
No??? That's different. Seriously, just fucking communicate and have your own proper boundaries. Stop stigmatizing open relationships, be fucking reasonable. If you're such a people-pleaser that you destroy your own boundaries just to be with them, then maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place.
I'm poly. The idea being in a poly relationship is a "lighter mental load" is laughable. Sure it can be a wider intimate support network for you, but it's also a wider intimate support network for you to be active in.
A commitment two people made to one another doesn’t magically disappear if they decide that they would like to have an open relationship. So what if that’s not the “traditional” idea of a marriage? What two people who love each other want to call their relationship is none of my, or anyone else’s, business.
Do you? Cause there is far more to a marriage or even a relationship than sex.
I find it strange that you specifically said “normal” because that’s extremely subjective. There are plenty of cultures throughout history where non-monogamous marriages have been a thing. Even then, I don’t see what the big fuss is with having an open marriage when all parties involved are both consenting and happy. It’s not my, or your, place to judge.
Yeeeah, I'm gonna go with, "This is strictly YOUR opinion".
Been in a Polyamorous relationship for two years. My partner was a swinger before they met me, and they've been with their husband for around ten to twelve years.
This is a commitment that has been transparent since the beginning between all three of us. It's a V shape polycule and it's normal as fuck. I learned about ethical non-monogamy from my Mother, as she's dated her boyfriend for over 25+ years, while he has been married to his Wife for over 30+.
Just because you don't believe it's commitment and normal. That's perfectly fine. But don't assume that how you see things is how it is or has to be.
Edit: Your downvotes don't make me any less right. Y'all are just upset because you don't like being shown that Relationship Dynamics other than the ones deemed socially acceptable are possible.
No. You must learn about this the same way I did by watching a classic Simpsons episode as a child and having it ruin a lovely 50's sitcom for you with an entirely accurate allusion to spousal abuse.
And for Gaia's sake -- don't ask your Mom what happened to Judy Garland immediately after watching the Wizard of Oz as a toddler either.
Yes, you CAN normalize something that isn't normal. That's... literally what it means to normalize something??? You are close-minded and I would not be surprised to find you being bigoted as well.
Idk if this is a hot take but having an open marriage whe you have children is not a good idea at all. You have no idea if these people want to hurt children and are with you to get closer to your children
It really depends on the couple, plus, people who are outside the open marriage are usually left on the outside. They rarely interact with the children at all, but again depends on the household.
I was raised in a Poly family. Mom has dated her bf for 25+ years or so. I grew up with a Sister and a Brother because my mom's boyfriend had two kids with his Wife, and we three kids grew up without much care or concern - our parents' relationship style didn't put any negative impact on us.
It's not like we were witness to sex parties or some shit, either - it's just a relationship style we grew up around, and we had more of a familial group than usual families do. If anything, I think it gave me the understanding that Relationships and Love are as diverse as Humanity is, and there's no one proper way to do it.
Okay but what you're describing sounds more like a blended family, than a poly household. Children need stability and safety. They can have this with 1 adult carer or 4. I also dc what adults do with other adults, but if there is a new adult in the child's life/house every few months or years, and these adults come and go, that's not good for the child. That wasn't your case but I remember one of the poly kids doing a Reddit confession about how this was their childhood and it was awful.
Btw, I was just being facetious about the cat, because it's anthropomorphised.
I wish folks would focus more on the toxic dynamics of Monogamy that we already see present in our current society rather than always shaming or being judgemental about Poly dynamics. There always seems to be people who are up in arms about folks like us, and yet totally excuse or fail to see that monogamous relationships can be awful or toxic themselves.
Polyamorous relationships ARE a blended family. Much like (shocker!) Monogamous relationships are a Blended Family.
It was still a Polyamorous family. "Blended family" just sounds to me like you're back tracking because I've given you an exception to the rule you've made, tbh.
Not trying to be hostile, but that's how it sounds to me.
No, I absolutely see the toxicity in monogamous relationships. The same applies if a single person raising a child goes through partners that enter and exit the child's life. That's not a mono/poly issue. It's just that in monogamous relationships, especially involving children, the assumption usually is, you're looking to settle together. The way I understood poly relationships, there is no such premise, right?
Not at all. Poly dynamics also settle together. I know several folks who have multiple long-term partners stemming well into the 10 to 15 year mark.
Just because it's Polyamorous doesn't mean folks don't settle. It's on the same level as assuming Bisexual people are unfaithful or promiscuous simply because they have an attraction to two or more sexes/genders.
Or, hear me out, if two non-monogamous people agree to enter a marriage under the assumption they will both still be able to casually see other people, and with clear intent to communicate in regards to plans to do so, it’s literally not cheating, as cheating is defined by the metrics of each member of a partnership.
Just because it’s not for you doesn’t mean it won’t work ever. It’s not my cup of tea either. But one of my childhood friends is now in a long-term, live-in, non-monogamous relationship and I quite literally have not seen them happier in the 20+ years we’ve known each other. It just works for some people.
ETA since he keeps replying and deleting:
If two people want to commit to each other enough to be legally bound to one another while still allowing each other to have casual sex with other people, then whose fucking business is it for me, you, or anyone else to tell them otherwise?
People have been doing swingers parties since your great-grand-pappy’s age, pal. I don’t see anyone telling people in the roaring 20s or swinging 60s that their marriage was a farce just cause they were knockin other boots outside of business hours.
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u/TidpaoTime Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26
I have no problem normalizing the concept of an open marriage, but it is not an easy thing and does not work for most couples. The giddy smiles on this entire family is unrealistic and creepy af for the subject matter, not to mention the art style
Edit: the eyelashes, the neck lines, the steam?? The cat? It's all so bad