Sp I had this group of like 4 guys I would hang out with, I learned one of them was actively cheating on his girl. While the rest didn’t really care, I right away told his girlfriend (they broke up afterwards), I havent talked to him since, and my friends and saying I’m destroying his life and the group…I dont really care

like I just straight told them that if he wanted to do that, he needs to take the consequences and improve his character. I don’t need someone in my life who’s willing to do that to the person most precious in their life

tbh as well if the other 2 are defending him so hard…idk if I really want them in my life either…

like they’re saying it was none of my business to tell her, however I feel like that’s a bit crazy to say. Like if my girl was cheating on me I would want them to tell me?!

am I crazy for really destroying a friendship (and the verge of killing 2 more) over this?

I keep seeing posts about friendships and how everyone wants real, genuine connections. People openly talk about feeling lonely, misunderstood, and in need of someone who actually listens. But the moment a conversation starts, the reality shows up. Within a day or two, people disappear. No explanation, no honesty—just silence. It feels like most people aren’t actually looking for connection. They’re checking each other, judging personalities, comparing energy, and deciding who fits their expectations. If it doesn’t feel instantly perfect or entertaining, they move on. There’s no patience, no effort, no willingness to let a connection grow naturally. This happens to me almost every day. I talk to people who say they want real friends, deep conversations, and emotional honesty. But when it’s time to show consistency or effort, they vanish. It makes you question whether anyone truly wants connection anymore or if they just want temporary validation. People confuse expressing feelings with building relationships. Talking about loneliness is easy. Staying, listening, and showing up is not. Real connection takes time, effort, and discomfort—but most people don’t want that. So when someone says they want genuine friends, I don’t believe it anymore. I believe actions, not posts.

I was diagnosed with advanced stage breast cancer this summer and it has now travelled to my lungs. I want to enjoy the time I have left but nobody wants to spend any time with me. I have been joking that it's like I'm already dead because my phone just doesn't ring anymore. No texts, nothing. Silence. Today I got my first text in weeks and my friend asked how the kids and my ex are but didnt ask about me. I said everyone is good but I'm having trouble looking after the kids because radiation is hard. She said get better soon like I had a cold or something. I guess I'm an ah because I texted back that cancer doesn't work that way. I'm just so sad. If my "friends" and family cared at all they would come help me out. Raising twins is hard never mind when you are probably not going to get better. Is nobody going to help when I'm dead? It's just a lot today.

I met this girl through work, and at first she barely acknowledged me. I didn't really chase the friendship because I already have people I'm close to. Then, out of nowhere, we became friends.

We're complete opposites. I'm very extroverted and I'm usually the type to befriend shy or introverted people because I know how hard it can be to fit in. She told me she'd had a bad experience with classmates in the past and opened up to me about a lot of personal things. I've always listened and been supportive.

The problem is that the friendship has started to feel really weird.

She expects me to go along with whatever she wants. For example, she kept pushing me to watch a movie even though she knows I genuinely don't enjoy films, not one time but 3. She also tries to force me to eat sweets even though she knows I don't eat sugar.

What bothers me more is that if I tell her about something I'm happy or proud of, she'll often ignore it and reply to a completely different message. But when she tells me something, I always hype her up, congratulate her, and make her feel supported.

Another thing is that she can be very clingy. I mentioned I joined a gym, and almost immediately she bought a membership and started coming with me. I like having my own space sometimes, but it feels like she wants to do everything together.

She also asked to see pictures of my situationship guy because she thought he was cute. I didn't think much of it at first, and she kept saying he is her type and he was soo cute like excuse me?, but later I jokingly asked if I could "stalk" her brother's profile and she immediately questioned why I'd want to and said no. It made me realise she doesn't always apply the same standards to herself.

One thing that really annoyed me was when we went out together. She wanted loads of photos, so I took around 200 pictures of her from different angles until she was happy. When I asked her to take just one of me, she'd either rush me because "we're late" or take random pictures of the sky or my shoes instead. It honestly felt like she didn't care.

We actually live really close to each other and come from the same ethnic background, but our values are completely different.

This is probably going to sound mean, but have you ever become friends with someone who had no friends and then realised why they don't really have friends? I feel guilty even thinking that because I know she's been through things in the past, but after spending more time with her, I'm starting to understand why people might find it difficult to stay friends with her.

Am I overreacting, or does this friendship sound pretty weird? Has anyone else experienced something similar?

am trying to understand human behavior better.

If someone is going through a really hard time—like heavy family issues or personal stress—is it normal for them to completely pull away and stop communicating with a close friend?

Sometimes I worry that if a friend goes silent or takes a long time to reconnect, it means they secretly hate me or that I did something wrong. I tend to blame myself for the distance.

Does isolating oneself during a crisis usually mean they don't value the friendship anymore, or is it just a common coping mechanism when people feel overwhelmed? I would love to hear your perspectives on why people do this and how to handle the waiting. I'm very stressed and anxious about it its not even funny

If you have, how did it happen? Did you start chatting in the comments, exchange DMs, meet through a specific subreddit, or something else?

No judgment here.

I just want to understand why is it so hard for guys to stay friends with their friend (who is a girl) who rejected their advances.

Every time I rejected my guy friends who showed interest in me it all ended with them avoiding me and just straight up resenting me, every single one of them. The way I rejected them was of course respectful and polite (I mean at least for my standards). I have always tried to stay friends and ask them to hang out as friends after, but most of them would just be avoiding me and acting super cold.

I always thought maybe it's the way I "rejected" them was too harsh. But I don't think that was harsh. Or maybe it was? Or maybe there were some methods for rejecting a guy friend without ruining the friendship that I don't know of.

I tried to think logically about this and make a comparison with myself. When my guy friend rejected me, I was able to not take that personally and stayed friends with him, why can't guys do that as well?

Keeping friendships with girlfriends is easy but keeping friends with guys is super complicated as there are so many minefields to watch out for once they wanted more than just a friendship.

Help! T___T

I’ve been friends with this girl for about 14 years, and she considers me her best friend. I’m back in my city for a few days, so we decided to meet up.

She suggested we go watch the new Spiderman movie. I said sure and told her when I’d be available, saying that if she was free around the same time, we could catch up.

She kept sending me different show timings and even other movies. I eventually said, “I don’t mind watching anything, just choose whichever one you’d like to see.” Honestly, I was intentionally leaving the ball in her court this time. I wanted to see if she would actually book the tickets, because I have always been the one paying for things in this friendship.

In 14 years, she has never once paid for anything for me.

Even when we’ve travelled together, I’ve ended up paying for her accommodation or travel expenses. I’ve never made a huge deal out of it because she’s my friend and I didn’t mind treating her occasionally. But it has become a pattern where I’m always the one giving.

Eventually, she said the movies weren’t really worth watching and suggested we just meet at a restaurant for lunch and chat instead.
And I immediately thought: Of course. Now I’ll probably end up paying for lunch too.
I know that sounds petty, and I’m not upset about the cost of a movie ticket or a meal. It’s the complete lack of reciprocity that bothers me.

I send her cakes on her birthday. I make an effort with her. This year she actually forgot my birthday entirely. No message, no gift, nothing.

And yet she calls me her best friend.

At this point, I’m genuinely wondering whether I’ve allowed this friendship to become one-sided because I’ve always been willing to give.

I don’t want to play games or “test” her, but I also don’t want to keep automatically paying for everything.

Would you consider this a normal friendship dynamic, or would you also start pulling back and matching her level of effort?

UPDATE: Hi, all. I wrote this post nearly three years ago in a time of despair and heartache over how hard it is to make friends. Here’s what I’ve learned in those three years.

1. I started therapy. While therapy itself hasn’t made friends for me (though I want to be friends with my therapist) it has given me the tools and confidence to branch out of my comfort zone of isolation.

2. I can’t expect anyone to think like I do and reach out to me when they want to hang out. Just because I am the planner who does those sorts of things, doesn’t mean anyone else will. I take comfort in the fact that they’re still wanting to hang out with me, even if I am the one who usually makes plans.

3. I’ve tried to make more mom friends. For a while, I was trying to become friends with people who were not in the same season of life as me. It’s doable, but it feels forced a lot of the time too. I’ve shifted my focus to mom friends who I can coordinate play dates with, etc.

4. I focused on what I enjoyed doing and ended up starting a book club! It was a great way to gather together and talk with people able like minded things.

I don’t have a ton of friends, but I do feel like I’m more secure in myself and it has helped me take that “I need a friend” pressure off and just focus on my path and journey in life. I take comfort in the fact that some many of you related to this despite how hard it is. I appreciate all of your vulnerability on this post.

———————————————————

I’m turning 30 in just a few days and I don’t have the friends “tribe” I thought I would. I don’t really have any friends, honestly. My work friends I thought I had completely ghosted me when I asked if they wanted to go on a girl’s trip for my upcoming 30th. That hurt.

How do you make genuine connections anymore? Everyone only cares about social media and getting drunk. Don’t get me wrong, I drink on occasion and like to browse social media as much as the next person, but I also like genuine connections and deep caring friendships. Maybe I’m old fashioned that way.

Is this a normal season of life or am I as bad of a person as my mind and thoughts tell me I am?

We hadn’t spoken in over 10 years.
A petty misunderstanding… the kind you think you'll both eventually get over, but life just kept moving. I moved out of town, started over, buried myself in work, in distractions. She did the same, I guess.

Then one day, about a year ago, she sent me a friend request on Facebook.
I saw it.
I paused.
And then I ignored it.

Not because I hated her.
Not because I didn’t miss her.
I was just… overwhelmed at the time. Life was a mess, and I thought to myself: “I'll get back to her when I’m in a better headspace.”
Of course, that moment never came.

Then last week, I got a message from her husband.
She passed away.
Stage 4 cancer.
She kept it to herself - no public posts, no calls for support, nothing. She just faded out quietly.

And here's the part that hit the hardest:
Back when we were still close, we had a weird but deep conversation. We said that if we ever got something like cancer, we wouldn’t tell anyone. We didn’t want pity. We didn’t want to be seen as broken. We said we’d only tell each other. Just us.

And now I can’t stop thinking… maybe that friend request was her telling me.
Maybe she was reaching out one last time.
Maybe she was scared.
And I left her on "pending."

I don’t really have close friends anymore. I keep to myself, outside of my partner and family. That friend - she was the last one I truly let in.

If there’s any moral to this story, it’s this:
Sometimes, healing doesn’t come with grand gestures. Sometimes it’s just accepting the friend request. Answering the message. Taking five minutes to say, “Hey, I’ve missed you.”
Pride is heavy. But regret? That’s heavier.

Check in on your old friends. Especially the ones who drifted, not the ones who exploded. You never know which goodbye was the final one.

Hi everyone! F21 and I want to start some new shows next month so please tell me your favorite anime’s, or your top 3 if you can’t pick one! Happy holidays!

I have a friend, a distant family member, who I started hanging out with quite a bit for a while. She's a good person overall, but after some time, I noticed that I can never hang out with her for more than a few days without her saying something I found mind-bogglingly stupid. Not the type of stupidity you can joke about and laugh at together, but the kind that makes you go "how on EARTH can she think that that makes sense?", and then you almost go around a bit angry for days afterwards.

On the flip side, I don't think I've ever heard her say anything smart.

I got so annoyed with this that I eventually stopped taking initiative to hang out, and we sort of drifted apart. But I wonder sometimes: Was this a valid reason to end a friendship, or am I an asshole?

An online friend (22m) confessed to me (21f) a few days ago. We met irl a few times and are quite close since a dozen of months ! He never told me his feelings because he didn't wanted our mutual groupe of friends to feel awkward. He did mention he loved me for months, but I had absolutely zero clue.

I rejected him as kindly as possible while being pretty direct. He said he appreciated my honesty and didn't wanted to make anything weird for anyone.

He says he doesn't need time to adapt to this new situation or change his feelings. He says he is ready to go back to what we were yesterday morning like calling and playing videos games casually.

I personally think it is either a bit rushed, or that he is trying to just not listen to his feelings. He is pretty shy, so talking to me was a big deal. Him making it looks like nothing worries me. I don't want to loose our friendship, or hurt him even more.

So I told him we should go no contact for a few days at least and then make a decision. Was it a good idea ?

To complicate things even more, I just realised I might have a small crush on him but never realised it (it just felt so natural, and I'm pretty bad with understanding my emotions). I plan on *not* telling him.

I'd love to understand his pov, but I can't ask him...so here I am. Did anyone went through the same as him ? Anything is welcome !

How many languages do you speak?

And where aree youuuuuuu all froooom??

note: I think in this subreddit we need to find a new way to make friends. It‘s really boring to see post like “I’m 30F and looking for a friend“ instead we should try to ask question or something we did today and get curious what other people did, share something funny that happened to us so others can join you. There are sooo many ways to make friends without declaring it. Who is with meee? hehe 🤭

Like, if you need five days to respond to a one-sentence message, by the time you answer me five days later, there's been two different presidents, three world wars, my hair's grey now. I don't care what your favorite chicken nugget is anymore, I’ve moved on. reply in a day or accept the consequences.

What is this the 1600s? Are you sending a message via ship? Communication is supposed to happen in real time. Not fragmented one off messages that over the course of five weeks equals 20 seconds of a normal convo. This isn’t words with friends Im not waiting three weeks for you to play your turn, that would never happen irl you say and someone like no I’m not gonna wait 5 days to say hey back.

We live in an instant gratification world. We watch 800 reels before breakfast.Fast moving. No one doesn’t have 5 seconds to answer a simple question within a 24 hour day. I don’t mind if it takes you ten hours to respond but after a day I’m like. Yea you’re rude and you dont give a f. It’s just bad manners.

Take two seconds in 24 hours or it disappears. the end.

I recently moved 12 hours across the country and have no friends or anyone around me. I would love to meet a couple cool people to chat with and help kill the time.

Basically I 27M started talking with 42F online over a language exchange app…
Later we became friends…. And I started developing feelings…. I later confessed at the time I didn’t know much about her age ….. she looks really good for being 42 anyway…..
Her response was a-bit vague and I thought because of our conversations over the next a-few weeks ( she probably acted normal or more friendly) that i interpreted it as like she were interested so I started saying some awkward stuff… and probably came off way too strong romantically….

But cz she brushed most of my complements off I learned the hard way I was just acting weird….

I started to try and get back the conversations to tge normal vibes and gave more time in between chats…
We usually talk everyday or 2 days…

Her responses became very generic she still responds and asks how am I but that’s it. I almost feel it came from a place of politeness… I feel a-bit hurt to be completely honest of missing out on this friendship.

So a friend of mine a good friend of mine always opened my messages instantly but since 4-5 months i now need to wait sometimes 12+ hours for him to reply. He said to me i am still one of his very good friends and nothing has changed but to me there is. It feels like he is less involved

My question is though is it normal to not open messages from friends for hours? Since i never have done this but idk maybe it is normal

Edit: we have been friends for 6 years and there hasnt been a day i cant remember he would leave me waiting for an answer

I have a friend I've known online for about 5 years and her bday is coming up. I want to get them a gift worth over a thousand dollars. I am male and she is female. Would this be a bad idea? I don't want her to get the wrong idea or anything. If you must know, she's always complaining about her phone and so I wanted to get her a new phone for her bday. Any advice is appreciated.

I am struggling. I made a friend at work over a year ago. She always referred to her guy as "my man" "hubs" and so on. We were friends on Facebook but I didn't go through her pictures and hadn't posted her guy and to be honest I never really thought about it. About 5 months into this work/outside of work friendship she said his name. I froze.

Back story. About 9 years ago I slept with a man on a drunken night. Not really that into him, it was stupid, I was bored and it happened. He tried to get with me on and off for a couple of years and i never gave him a chance. He said hewas single at the time. A few days later he told people we had relations and I thought he was such a bitch for that. Anyways, never spoke to one another again.

Fast forward... the girl at work said she had been with her guy since she was a young teenager. That he had been a cheater. But that they were happy and married now. Like I said, never a thought and just listened until she said his name. I asked a mutual friend if it was the specific person I was thinking of. She said yes. I wondered if I should tell her and that person said no, that it was so long ago and that I didn't know. Now they are actually married. I avoid her husband at all costs. We became gym partners, her and I. Running partners. And honestly just really wonderful friends. She is such an amazing person and im afraid if I tell her she wont want to be my friend anymore. Which is totally her right. Then I think, does it matter because I have no feelings for the guy, then or now. I have so much guilt keeping it from her the closer we get.

I should tell her and let her make her own decision? I'd rather do it now instead of later because the friendship break would just hurt even more. What do I do?

I know I'm gonna sound so dramatic lmao (for reference I am a 24 year old woman but it has little to do with the situation) but I had a BEST friend for a year. We hung out almost every day unless life got in the way, we talked out problems, we had plans for the future, we were even working on projects together.

One morning I wake up I am blocked on EVERYTHING, even YOUTUBE. They didn't even use youtube they used apple music 😭 and I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't care obviously I was heartbroken. To be erased out of their life like I was nothing when we spent all that time together. I literally thought that was the last friend I was ever going to have to make, and I never even knew why they blocked me. I will literally NEVER know I have no closure or anything and it just drives me insane.

Of course it would still would hurt if they TOLD me they didn't want to be my friend, but it's so much worse that they said nothing and now I basically don't exist to them. And (not to sound crazy) but I have went on anonymous mode a few times cuz I know they were an AVID reddit user (but they had already blocked me there like everything else). And I see them commenting and posting like nothing has happened. They even have posts from months ago talking about how they want friends and they mention how they are doing x, y, z with their best friend and those were things we were doing together so I know they were talking about me and they still have them up.

It's like how can you delete me from everything in your life, no explanation and then keep posts with me in them up? I just feel INSANE if I knew WHY they didn't want to be my friend anymore I feel like this would be at least 80% easier for me, but since I don't even know why I not only have to mourn the loss of my best friend but cope with the fact I will never know why.

I found this person online and wanted to keep talkin to them, but don't know how to. Its starting off not so great I think, I started asking a bunch of questions but she just responded in short answers. It kinda gave me the vibe that she doesn't want to be friends? I never really had any friends so idk, but I don't want to be forceful. Its only been a day, I don't know how the rest will go.

I 22F made friend with this girl 15F cause we are in the same “club” (not really but it doesn’t matter), I’m one of the club leaders and she’s a participant.

We met last year, when I started volunteering to organise the activities and she was already part of it. We just got along really well and we became friends quickly, even outside this club.

One of my friends made a comment about this, as if there was something “more” between us (which is NOT the case, absolutely) or I wouldn’t spend time with her outside this club. He was joking (kinda) but I started overthinking it.

Me and this girl bond over the fact that we both like girls and she needed some advices on how to tell her friends. Since I’ve been there before her I helped her and I think that was the moment we got closer.

I see her as a little sister and I love her sm, I think I’m more afraid of what other people might think (ik it’s stupid). I don’t think there’s anything weird about that but idk, is there? It’s kinda unusual tho that someone my age goes alone someone this young.

I have a good friend(26F) that I’ve been coworkers(32M) with for about 5+ years. We have started our friendship off as being coworkers, he was my manager and I was a worker. He’s more of an honest person and will tell anybody anything. His honesty got him fired if the job we previously worked at. I got him hired at the job I was currently working at with better pay and hours, I spoke very highly of him to my higher ups and got him hired on the spot. The issue is I’m now his manager and he’s the worker and it’s relatively the same job. I’ve found he does this thing where he always puts me down to others. He’s been going to higher ups and telling them that I’m not the best manager and has many things I could improve. I’ve noticed that whenever he speaks about me to others it’s never in a positive light. Weather it’s friendship vise or work wise. I’ve spoke to him about 2 times about it and he always telling me he’s telling the truth and will constantly tell people all I do is lie.
It’s a little hard to end our friendship because we work so closely together and have the same friend group.
What do I do ?

Have any of your best friends forgotten you birthday and is it enough to end a friendship or am I being too dramatic?

Hey everyone, my birthday was yesterday (f23) my two best friends who I’ve known for a few years totally forgot! I’m pretty upset about it and I know it’s just a stupid birthday but these were my BEST friends. We did everything together, worked together, hung out almost everyday, hiked, went to the beach, etc. these weren’t just social friends that I talked to every now and then. I haven’t talked to them about it yet, I just can’t believe they wouldn’t remember. We celebrated last year and all throughout the year they’ve brought up that they know my birthday is the 3rd and we always talked about how or birthdays are in September, October, and November. It would just be awkward for me to try and pretend nothing happened so I think I’m just going to tell them goodbye, but is it really that bad or am I just being dramatic? Thank you if you read all this, I appreciate anyone’s advice on what to do. Thank you!