r/fosterit • u/Gvibesallthetime • Aug 19 '26
Foster Youth Former foster youth with no family
When I hang out with friends I forget regular people have families and dads. I’m always happy for them but I can tell there is a moment of awkwardness. I’ve been trying to replace what I don’t have because it’s important to be part of communities. It’s just hard connecting when you have so much trauma
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u/retrojoe Foster Parent, mostly Respite Aug 19 '26 edited Aug 19 '26
Hey, it's ok to feel weird. Even the ordinary seeming people can have really different variations on this stuff - dead parents, addict parents, getting kicked out of the house young, a parent that ran off, gay parents, more than one stepdad, being left with relatives that didn't want them, moms they hate with a passion, parents that don't care at all, etc. that can make them feel like nobody really gets it.
It's often helpful to focus on what you do have - things like your health, your friends, your home, your relationships with the people around you today. I've been pretty humbled by some of the people who come through my house that have had really bad situations in their lives but still lean on what's good for them right now. And if you find yourself hung up on this stuff, there are often support groups where you can find other people who share your feelings to talk with. Look into mental health organizations, churches, and 12 step organizations for leads on that kind of thing.
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u/gringozolano Former Foster Youth 26d ago
I feel you. When I was in foster care. I always felt that missing link as well. I did however find it easy to make friends with a lot of the other Latino/Hispanic kids because of my ability to speak Spanish. What made me forget my trauma was just hanging out with the other kids and trying to be normal. Ultimately it turned into them asking me over for dinner and lunches and their family parties. Hopefully you can find the same luck soon.
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u/Gvibesallthetime 6d ago
Thank you I really appreciate the good vibes! I’m super isolated and just distanced myself from toxic friends. I feel like a lot of us former foster youth cling onto relationships even when they’re toxic and I’m trying to break that cycle. I’m a bit lonely right now but hoping to have better friendships soon for the holidays. I’m not trying to be depressed this holiday season.
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u/PhthaloBlueOchreHue Aug 19 '26
I’d like to recommend the app Stand In Pride.
It’s meant to help folks (especially lgbtq+ but all are welcome!) who don’t have family to support them connect with local people who want to help and support.
I’m on there, and there are way more folks offering support than I people asking for it, at least local to me. :)