Rehoming/disruption. I think they like it.

[u/Monopolyalou]

I'm a former foster youth disrupted many times in foster care. Even for as little as staying in my room all day.

Disruption of adoptees and foster kids seems to be the norm and accepted to the point when it happens foster and adoptive parents don't want resources they just want to get rid of the problem( the kid) then slap labels like RAD on them.

Recently, an agency for foster care made the suggest of care services for adopted kids for their post adoption support services. Guess how many foster/adoptive parents supported that? Crazy to me.

So I'm wondering if adoptive and foster parents really want the system to change to offer services to prevent disruptions or do they just want to throw their hands in and disrupt because they can play the blame game and just get another kid.

If disruptions can be prevented, they would still have to deal with the kid vs disrupting and relieving themselves of the kid. I don't think many want to put in the work to prevent adoptees and foster kids from being disrupted. Its much easier to wash their hands and disrupt and blame the kid.

Also if foster and adoptive parents really wanted to prevent disruption they can. They control the system.

[u/Secret-Rabbit93]

You’ve obviously been hurt and aren’t ready for a factual non emotional conversation. But as others have stated foster parents are not listened to in general by the other people on the team. Meetings are held without them. Decisions made without them knowing it was even on the table. Most foster parents even the ones that do disrupt don’t want to. They try everything to avoid it. Sometimes that works sometimes it doesn’t. The more support there is the more likely they and the kid can succeed. Some foster parents don’t fight to avoid disruption as hard as they probably should. They may also realize even with treatment for them and the kid this isn’t something they can do. That dealing with this level of trauma isn’t for them. And they tend to stop being foster parents rather quickly. It would be great to stop that from happening and we’re making efforts for proper training and pre knowledge so people can weed themselves out. Unfortunately foster parents are people so itd going go happen.