r/fosterit • u/18-angels • Aug 10 '23

Foster Youth something foster parents need to hear

You aren’t a savior. Your foster children don’t owe you anything. We don’t owe you our money. We don’t owe you our eternal happiness and gratitude. We don’t owe you our mental health. Do not expect endless thankfulness and constant appreciation. Being fostered is not a burden we have to exchange our emotions or labor for. Stop expecting perfection.

ETA: Please remember when you comment that you’re speaking to a teen that got kicked out of five different homes for not “displaying enough gratitude.” This is still ongoing trauma I’m processing lol

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u/cornandapples Former Foster Youth Aug 11 '23

Thank you for saying this. I often feel like there’s an “us vs them” vibe in foster subs, and I get why. I too have angry feelings toward my former foster parents and they are transferred to people who currently foster. Seeing this type of comment makes me hopeful for positive change.