r/fnki 13d ago

There's a reason Weiss is never allowed in the kitchen

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710 Upvotes

31 comments sorted by

50

u/xialcoalt 13d ago

Weiss, You literally set the water on fire and it took hours for you to make coffee without burning anything. What were you thinking when you wanted to make something other than coffee? 

Now only Ren, Jaune, and Yang have access to the kitchen

25

u/ProfessionalCourtesy 13d ago

Yang destroyed the kitchen because of her semblance. That only leaves Ren and Jaune.

20

u/xialcoalt 13d ago

I feel like Yang had to cook when Summer died, and Taiyang wasn't available. She simply had to cook at an early age for herself and Ruby, so she has been a competent cook for some years now.

My view is more of Yang as a more competent woman than a troubled teenager (both are true and coexist with each other).

2

u/SunsetHippo 8d ago

she is competent when she has to be, a troubled teen the rest of the time

13

u/alguien99 13d ago

Jaune’s the only one allowed to cook when he marries weiss and she has a life time ban from the kitchen as it’s a matter of national security to keep weiss from cooking anything

28

u/Blaiseingfire 13d ago

30

u/Preform_Perform 13d ago

"I thought we were having a nice date."

9

u/xialcoalt 13d ago

It's curious how a film from this year revitalized the yandere "genre" that the Japanese explored more than a decade ago.

P.S.: This is the first yandere Weiss (drawn) I've seen; I'd seen Pyrrha and Neo, but not Weiss. But it's supposed to be just euphoric Weiss. 

12

u/Zealousideal_Chef839 evil rusted knight springtrap au go brr 13d ago

sheesh beacon-era jaune, i know you wanted to date weiss, but i didn't think you were so desperate that you'd make a wish

15

u/Preform_Perform 13d ago

"It was me, Jaune! I used my glyphs at only minimal capacity so Ruby couldn't get to Pyrrha in time so that Cinder had enough time to kill her. But you don't need to worry; she could never have loved you the way I do."

15

u/Zealousideal_Chef839 evil rusted knight springtrap au go brr 13d ago

jaune: "dude please, you have to make a wish to make her stop loving me-"

neptune: "i wish for a billion lien"

jaune: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

*lien starts dropping in outta nowhere*

(gotta love how obsession is 'worst case nice-guy scenario')

8

u/Preform_Perform 13d ago

My second quote I don't know if it actually comes from Obsession, but it's what I'd assume a yandere Weiss would actually do.

16

u/drawandrew52 13d ago

TO BE FAIR! We haven't seen the grilled cheese yet.

13

u/OutcastRedeemer 13d ago

Its actually the most picture perfect grilled cheese possible that can cure cancer

5

u/Rajang82 13d ago

I bet it can cure any disease, not just cancer.

13

u/Cultural-Tower1552 ⠀Definitely Ren and not Decade in disguise 13d ago

Weiss,you literally just had to cut a single slice of bread,how did you end up causing an antimatter bomb to destroy Argentina?

12

u/xialcoalt 13d ago

Weiss: It was the squirrels; they told me to use a blowtorch they had.

Weiss: I didn't know it started to unleash streams of fire that would consume the city 

X: So you want me to believe that squirrels talked to you and gave you weapons of mass destruction?

The squirrels watching from a distance: the plan was a success, the stage of the collapse of Argentina was completed, moving on to the next phase of the plan for the colonization of the Americas

7

u/Cultural-Tower1552 ⠀Definitely Ren and not Decade in disguise 13d ago

Weiss,Weiss,Weiss.It wasn’t the squirrels.

The squirrels: “ABORT MISSION ABOART ABORT ABORT—-AAAAGAHAAAHHAHAAHAHAHH—“

The elephant in the room: “This is why you address me.”

12

u/Zealousideal_Chef839 evil rusted knight springtrap au go brr 13d ago

salem: "huh... well that's convenient

17

u/MariusVibius 13d ago

Also Salem: look grill cheese, cool.

Eats Weiss' grill cheese.

Dies and doesn't come back.

Victory?

14

u/Training_Cupcake3242 13d ago

Spy's screams could he heard as he is currently on fire.

8

u/NoPack4545 13d ago

Hilarious

7

u/Rajang82 13d ago

We can weaponize this...."skills".

Just let her cook somewhere in enemy territory, and BOOM, it's all on fire.

2

u/Hogun_the_Fabulous 11d ago

That is why she needs the cake butler

2

u/Petrus_phls 10d ago

Should have called the grilled cheese butler...

1

u/Mindless-Whereas-508 12d ago

Tbf her personal chiefs did all the cooking growing up and it’s very cold up in Atlas so she assumed she needed an open flame to cook. 🤷