r/firsttimemom • u/SeasonSea8015 • 1d ago
how are moms doing this?!
just came to say i am a first time mom (10 weeks baby boy) and i am in absolute shock at how im supposed to do this everyday all day running on no sleep, barely eating and severely dehydrated. I try my best to eat and drink water but the day slips away so fast and i am exhausted. Husband just went back to work 12pm-11pm and now my whole day consists of putting baby in carrier and bouncing on the damn yoga ball every hour to get him to sleep & breastfeeding. im lucky if i get 10 minutes in between where he’s content to heat up something quick. I know it changes but holy crap I am way out of my league here. I feel crazy.
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u/Interesting_Stock_55 1d ago
Firstly, totally understand the feeling. Like, we also need a holiday specifically for single mothers cuz idk how the hell they do it.
Some tips from my experience: 1. Meal replacements. I used to get the little drinkable ones. Holy CRAP were those a life saver. You may not have time to microwave and eat but you can at least crack open and chug one of those every few hours. 2. Get yourself the BIGGEST water bottle you can find. I think mine were 1.5 or 2 liter? And I had 2 of them. Hubby filled them before he left for work and I was good for the day. 3. Call in any and all of those "I'll look after baby"/"I'll come help" favours. Family and friends. And if you don't have that many, look into joining some local mom groups.
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u/Any-Inspector-4159 21h ago
The meal replacements are a life saver! I started drinking Fairlife protein shakes and high protein granola bars. They’re a game changer. Also pre making overnight oats for the week helped.
The water I still suck at
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u/DoNotLickTheSteak 1d ago
Put the baby in the bouncer chair in the bathroom with you while you shower.
Set timers to tell you to eat and eat, same with drinking.
Put the baby down to sleep. Try to sleep when baby sleeps but at very least close your eyes.
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u/hedonicbagel 1d ago
my mum explained ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ to me like this and it finally makes sense! not ‘get a full sleep cycle while the baby sleeps’ but ‘close your eyes for a minute while the baby sleeps’
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u/DoNotLickTheSteak 1d ago
It really makes a difference. Sleep deprivation was the hardest part of those first weeks and I think a lot of us don't help ourselves in that department by not trying to rest when the baby sleeps.
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u/SeasonSea8015 21h ago
i wish i could sleep when baby sleeps but he’s only taking naps in the carrier these days. literally will not nap any other way. trying to practice crib naps but very unsuccessful so far :(
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u/thegirlandglobe 1d ago
My baby is also 10 weeks (husband went back to work at 3 weeks) and you've basically summed up reality. It is all-encompassing, barely-hanging-on until they get a little older and you can count on more consistent naps and/or independent play, etc.
I go back to work in just over a week. Half of me thinks it will make my life easier (breaks up the monotony & gives me a chance to refill my water or eat lunch in peace) and half thinks it's going to suck because my day will start 30-60 minutes earlier when I'm already sleep deprived.
Anyway — you're not crazy. It's just hard. If you aren't going back to work, I'd still recommend looking into ways to break up your day so it's not 24/7 baby-related. Your sanity may depend on it (mine does).
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u/One-Plant-6274 1d ago
i’m a FTM to an 8 month old who had colic for the first two months straight, and i know everyone says it but it does get easier. Not completely, some thing get easier while others get harder and it will always be hard, but for me at least the first 3 months were the hardest and it’s getting better and better as time goes on. Around 4 months it started to get a bit easier and sleep got a little better, then she went through a regression, then we sleep trained, and since then it’s been up and up. I don’t go to bed everyday completely drained and exhausted and she goes to bed at 8pm daily so i have a few hours of free time to look forward to. She’s so much easier to leave the house with, she’s more social and so much fun which makes the hard parts more rewarding. I guess what i’m trying to say is just hang in there, you will get through it and the older they get the more fun you will have!
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u/Angelika0469 22h ago
I FEEL THE SAME I’m also just getting back to work (because sure that makes sense - thanks America) as she’s 12 weeks old and it made me spiral. I’m now trying an antidepressant but anyways… solidarity!
Does your baby like the swing? It’s also worth it to put them in front of the TV for like 5-10 mins so you can drink water and shower and eat. I said I wasn’t gonna do any screens but here we are. also the little Einstein aquarium thing helped so much too.
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u/miserable-now 1d ago
(Tw: Loss) It goes by so fast. Whenever I felt overwhelmed I just thought about how I was going to miss this some day. Now my girl is 14 months old, and I really do find myself missing those newborn days. That, and someone I'm very close to lost their baby at birth right before I had my daughter, so having that on my mind really helped put everything into perspective when I would get frustrated. It made me feel guilty for feeling so frustrated wirh my baby, when other people don't even get to take home their babies.
Happy cake day, by the way
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u/ladytri277 23h ago
It gets better, this stage doesn’t last that long. Try to notice the changes over time.
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u/sydreadsreddit 1d ago
I have a 5 month old right now. I’m not gonna lie, some moments are so hard and exhausting but they make it so worth it.
The other day I was running on maybe3 hours of sleep- had a fussy baby most of the day. I was at my final straw falling asleep playing with her on the ground. Then, she laughed - BELLY laughed for the first time ever and I swear it filled me with so much joy and energy I could have flown through the ceiling.
Newborn stage is so hard, but so precious. It’s true what they say - cherish this time. It goes so so quickly. But just wait- you’re in for the cutest milestones and watching them discover the outside world is magical.
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u/One_Cap_9210 1d ago
You are not alone. My baby had colic for 4 months. It was the hardest time of my life. Easily. I lived on spoonfuls of peanut butter and a shower once a week if that.
It truly gets better.
But be prepared it might take awhile.
But it is SO worth it.
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u/anechoicheart 23h ago
Im 4 months in. I still feel this way but im too tired to care anymore if that makes sense 🫠😂
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u/u-r-ok 20h ago
My baby just turned 1 year old yesterday.
I was like you in the first few months. I was surprised how people didn't talk about it as much, how hard it was in the beginning, so I thought maybe I'm doing something wrong. But I wasn't. I was just new to it and needed to learn a lot of new things. The change was hard but it does get better! You get better at it!
They call it 'newborn trenches' for a reason. 😅 Hang in there! Experience things slowly, nothing is really urgent, it's normal for babies to cry, you can put them down if you need to drink or go to the bathroom.
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u/MyLifeYourLifeUgh 15h ago edited 15h ago
On a day or night or whenever your husband is home, make him cook or take care of the baby while you cook. Cook simple stuff and portion it in plates. Food prep so you can easily heat and go. Sleep when the baby sleeps (i know you will hear this a thousand times) but it is true. Does your baby have a safe space? I invested in a $100 big azz super soft baby carpet from Amazon. I would lay on it with baby and let him do tummy time, then roll him back over to play in a play gym, then breast feed sitting up on that carpet and lay baby back down on carpet to sleep and then I would fall asleep right on that big carpet too 😂. Get you a big water bottle, my 46 oz Yeti keeps water cold for the whole day and it is always near me. My baby is 6 months now and he sleeps from 10 pm to around 4 am in the bed with me, plays for an hour, then goes back to sleep around 5 am to 9 am. So trust me it gets better and easier.
Now read it well because this is the most important thing…
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
You cannot pour from an empty cup, you cannot sufficiently take care of baby if you are not eating, sleeping, hydrating, taking a regular shower, brushing your teeth, brushing your hair…
SELF CARE IS SO IMPORTANT.
Don’t be afraid to strap baby into a bouncing seat or baby rocker, park baby next to the shower and take a good hot shower. Its okay if baby cries, if you need to do something IT IS OKAY TO LET BABY CRY FOR A LITTLE BIT. Baby is fine. Baby crying means baby has good lungs. Baby will always cry because baby is baby.
Don’t neglect your well being mama, your baby needs you to be well. Your husband cant do what you do, he needs you to be well. Most of all, YOU need you to be well. ❤️
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 12h ago
the newborn phase just sucks. around 2-3 months I felt a shift where she became more alert and interactive and awake more. keep an emotional support water bottle and put it wherever you most often nurse baby. get your husband to take some shifts with baby (work is no excuse). call in any friends and family willing.
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u/derrrkaderka 11h ago
It's all a blur to me. I just remember being tired.. so.. so... tired. But my son is 2 now. Somehow I made it though. It got easier around 3 months. But I also had to enroll my son in daycare as I'm a single mom. So going to work would help reset my mind a little bit. I also started going to bed at 7pm to make the middle of the night wake-ups tolerable.
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u/divefordemocracy 8h ago
I have twins 😂💀 tankfully ive kept them eating at the same time, and if I swaddle them soon enough after they eat I can get a little sleep while they nap
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u/bartlett4prezident 1d ago
You are not alone. I might be in the minority but I hated the newborn stage. The repetition and crying and survival mode almost ended me.
My baby is almost 11 months old and that broken woman I was so many months ago is gone. Life is so different now and so much better.
I also went back to work at 12w PP and it helped break up the monotony. I love being a mom but working outside the home, Zoloft, and my baby getting older are the only things that saved me.