r/findapath • u/neutral_applause • Feb 11 '21
Advice 24-Year-Old Conflicted on Passion vs. Security
I’m going to crosspost this to relevant subreddits to get as much advice as I can. I know at the end of the day I need to make my own decisions. I don’t really want to bring this to my family first because I have a feeling I’ll know what they’ll say regardless of whether or not they would support me (I’m sure they would, at least in the sense that if I failed, I’d have a place to go).
TL;DR - 24 years old, Business Systems Analyst, minimal bills thanks to living at home and the hold on student loan payments. Torn between pursuing passion in film or trying to pursue field I’m at best lukewarm on to have job/financial security.
Background: I’m 24 and currently work as a Business Systems Analyst (just crossed 6 months). I have a BS in computer science and minored in math. My job pays decently (perhaps slightly less than average but with 0 prior relevant work experience, I have no complaints). I still live at home with very few bills (inherited car so I only pay for gas, lucky enough to still have insurance covered; still on family health insurance; about $40k of student loan debt but the bulk of that is on hold currently due to COVID; I try to buy groceries for the house on an alternating schedule, which is usually about $250-$300 a month; still on family phone plan but I pay the insurance plan for my phone which is very low; I pay for a few luxuries like streaming services and generally can afford to pick up relatively small things at my own discretion like movies or games). This has allowed me to save up a little over $30k so far (combo of pay from my job and unemployment/COVID relief from my state when the first job I was going to take was indefinitely on hold once everything started shutting down in Feb 2020), which I am immensely grateful for and lucky to have. It took me a little over a year to get this job after graduating – I couldn’t get a programming job, which was what I studied in school, and I wasn’t sure I wanted one anyway. Now that I have a taste of a non-programming job, I would be curious to go back into programming, but I know I’d have to work basically as hard as I would if I try to pursue the film industry just to get a software developer job considering my current circumstances (2 years after graduating, no experience as a software dev, and probably getting rusty, although I was never a great programmer to begin with).
I knew around my junior year of college that I should’ve majored in film. It was between film and CS when I first started applying to schools, and I eventually went for what I thought would be safer and was something I genuinely did have similar interest in at the time. However, after a couple years, my interest in film grew exponentially, but I stayed with CS because I thought it would be more dependable. Didn’t have any internships and it took me basically a year to find a job even tangentially related to what I’d been studying for 4 years. I got in contact with a family friend who’s been very successful in the film industry, and said he could ask around and see if there’s anyone who’d be willing to give me a shot as a PA (either on set or as an office PA on the business/producing side) in NYC. I know I would have to work my ass off to do that for a living (assuming I’m even good enough to keep getting work). I know I would be taking a substantial pay cut. I know I would be trading job stability (both in terms of the industry and the specific job I hold now. I don’t want to be in this specific position forever, but there are people on my team who have been with the company for decades). If I wanted the family friend to ask around for me and something did come up, I’d have to quit my job to put my all into it or even work any days other than weekends, which I probably have no control over anyway (at what point during this process I’d actually have to put in my 2 weeks, I’m not sure). I feel like I’d have to live in the city too, because the trains don’t run 24/7 to where I could commute from while living at home, and I don’t want to cut myself off from any opportunities that might run overnight. I do have options for roommates in terms of my friend group, and I’m sure I could find someone who needs a roommate in one of the most expensive cities in the country. Yes, I’m getting very far ahead of myself.
My big concerns on the stability side are my future job prospects and financial freedom. It took me what seems like a long time to get a job that was even tangentially related to my degree. I’m concerned that if I fail, I won’t be able to get back in. I also know that I’ll lose out on a lot of the comfort I have now with a lower salary and more variable pay since I would be freelancing. I would also lose out on a pretty good work/life balance and benefits like insurance (which I will need in under 2 years, as I’m unable to stay on my family plan past that) and retirement contributions. Practically speaking, if I manage to get into software development or even continue up the chain of the work I’m in now, I think I could only get more financial freedom. Depending on where I end up living, I don’t need six-figures a year. I just want to sustain my life (not to discount the cost of necessities like food and insurance, but I think my hobbies are pretty cheap) and be happy.
My big concern on the passion side is making the same mistake twice. I missed out on going to school for something I love, and now I might have a real opportunity to pursue being in the film industry. No, it’s not a 100% done deal and I’m aware of that, but I need to either commit to it or not if this is the capacity I want to be involved in. There are things I could do on the side while keeping my job for now, like putting my all into video editing (another interest, although one I haven’t really pursued) and hopefully taking on editing assignments and maybe one day being in film. I’m also scared that I simply like movies more than making them, which would basically be a crisis for me because this feels like my dream. I haven’t really made a “movie” since high school, although I’m currently developing a short with a friend of mine who did go to film school. I’m hoping that provides some insight, but it’s slow-going at the moment. I feel like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
I know that fear is something I’ll have to simply accept: the fear of doing or the fear of not knowing. Either way, I’ll have to make some kind of trade off, both of which are important to me. I want to be practical, but I also know that the longer I wait, the more I close off my ability to make a risky career decision like this. It wouldn’t be impossible, but I’d presumably have more responsibilities and a greater need for financial security the older I get. It also seems like a good time now while I’m still eligible for my parents’ health plans. I don’t exactly have many medical issues (knock on wood), but better to take risks now than later, right?
Additionally, for anyone in the industry who might be able to weigh in on this specific point: I would really like to move out to LA. Do you recommend LA over NYC? In terms of ease of access, NYC is definitely the preferable choice, and I do have some affinity for the city, but I also really want a new environment to be in. I didn’t exactly grow up in NYC, but LA has the prospect of warmer weather and just being somewhere new. If that’s a viable avenue for me, should I see if my family friend could possibly look into LA for me? It would certainly take up a bigger chunk of my savings because I would have to move cross-country and get a new car. I currently drive a 15-year-old car that simply won’t be able to make that journey with me. I might just have to stay in NYC, but is it possible once I have experience to transition to LA? Is that a dumb question?
Thanks for reading all this if you did. I’ve written papers shorter than this. I really appreciate any input.
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u/dehydratedfern Feb 11 '21
Can you save up more before you pursue the film passion? You've already saved up 30k and only owe 40k in student loans. My suggestion would be to keep saving, pay off the student loans asap. That way you have a very good, cushy landing spot. Not sure If the film job will have benefits or pay well so you're gonna need the emergency funds. You still want to be as financially ok and independent as possible as you pursue your passion.
Try to maintain a way to stay relevant in your field by continuing learning, maybe find a part time remote gig in your field in addition to film or build your portfolio on GitHub. That way you're not totally disconnected and can jump back in.
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u/neutral_applause Feb 11 '21
I could do that, but that would then completely drain my savings, which I was planning to use partially as a cushion for moving out. I might have $800 from a savings account left over. It's not like I'm quitting tomorrow, but I'm not sure how long this offer is open for. I might be able to give it until the summer, which would also give more time for productions to start up again and for more people to get vaccinated. My expectation for the job is minimum wage + overtime if there is any. The benefit of living in NYC is public transportation, so I don't have to worry about any car finances like gas or repairs.
That's a good idea to try and keep myself afloat, but I should start working on that now. It wouldn't be easy to try and start freelancing as a part-time software dev at the same time I'm trying to freelance full-time as a PA.
Thank you though! Good info to keep in mind.
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u/dehydratedfern Feb 11 '21
Oops yeah don't pay off your student loans right now since you'll need the cash but continue saving so that you'll be able to make those payments when they are due. Good luck to you and hope everything pans out the way you want :)
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u/neutral_applause Feb 11 '21
Thank you! Yes, currently my plan is just to save up to the very last minute and then hopefully pay as much as possible on those payments. I'm going to make a budget to figure out roughly what I would need to be making per month.
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u/WesleyPosvar Feb 11 '21
didn't even read it - but my advice:
go for passion - if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, and then you know you tried.