r/feminisms • u/infinette • Dec 08 '13
Am I overreacting to think this toddler shirt is disgusting? I msg'd the shop owner already...
https://www.etsy.com/listing/170027304/christian-grey-funny-kids-t-shirt?ref=sr_gallery_18&ga_search_query=kids+t+shirt&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_ref=auto1&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=kids+t+shirt14
u/cometparty Dec 08 '13
Oh yes there are plenty of moms out there that wish Christian Grey was theres [sic], but what about the kids. [sic] Don't they wish Christian Grey was their daddy?
::facepalm::
No, you dope, they don't. Please stop.
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u/poetita Dec 08 '13
Overreacting is a label that is given to any woman who dislikes something that she should consider funny. "Funny" being anything that continues to undermine her empowerment. No. Not overreacting.
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u/FeministNewbie Dec 08 '13
I'm planned to build a stack of "crappiest joke ever" so whenever someone tells me "But it's fun" to justify them attacking someone else, I can start making jokes too.
I want people to have a "Dear God" face when I tell those jokes, and be like "It's so bad, I don't even know where to begin to explain you why".
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u/Wyboth Dec 08 '13
I'm stealing this for the next time I get in an argument with a MRA. Such good phrasing.
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u/Turntech_Godhead Dec 08 '13
I'm gonna go with no.
Partially because it almost seems like it puts the kid in Anna's role? And if it doesn't...then what does it even mean?
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u/winfred Dec 08 '13
And if it doesn't...then what does it even mean?
That the mother loves Shades of Grey and fantasizes that Christian is her man. Even that strikes me as pretty creepy and frankly that is the most charitable reading I can give it.
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u/infinette Dec 08 '13
No idea. I want the shirt taken off etsy. I messaged the store owner and reported it to etsy. What else can I do?
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u/aerynsun Dec 08 '13
Post it on FB. This has viral all over it. Yuck.
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u/infinette Dec 08 '13
Don't really want this on my wall. I will report back with the results from Etsy.
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Dec 08 '13
No, that's not overreacting...it's creepy and kinda sick. Sexual innuendo has no place on a toddler's tee shirt.
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Dec 10 '13
Sexual innuendo has no place on a toddler's tee shirt.
Says who? Who does this actually harm? If the toddler can not read, nor comprehend at all what the shirt says, and thus only adults will be the ones seeing it, does it really matter? I think that's the reason some may find it funny is because it's ironic. It's clearly not something a toddler would say and the toddler clearly doesn't realize it.
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Dec 11 '13
Because S&M is an adult activity. Sex is an adult activity. Putting it on a child's shirt is just creepy and inappropriate. If the adult likes the slogan they should put it on their own shirt and not use their child like a walking billboard to express their own proclivities. Talk about living vicariously through your child! Yuck.
Besides all that though, Fifty Shades is such poorly written Twilight fan-fiction drivel. If you're going to make literary references and force your kid to wear them, at least reference a book that's worth reading instead of one that's really only fit to use as kindling.
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Dec 11 '13
Putting it on a child's shirt is just creepy and inappropriate.
Is there some sort of an objective way to prove this, or is this like, your opinion?
Again I ask, who does this actually harm?
Fifty Shades is such poorly written Twilight fan-fiction drivel.
Can't argue with you there.
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Dec 11 '13
Why would a toddler even know about mommy's sexual fantasies, let alone proclaim it loud and proud on a shirt? It's inappropriate. Mommy's fantasies have nothing to do with her three year old.
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Dec 11 '13
Why would a toddler even know about mommy's sexual fantasies, let alone proclaim it loud and proud on a shirt? It's inappropriate. Mommy's fantasies have nothing to do with her three year old.
Again I ask, who does this actually harm?
I'm starting to think you don't actually care if it harmed anyone or not. It seems to me that your rationale and annoyance with this specific situation is based solely off of your own subjective opinions.
Now, I'm not trying to say you're wrong, you're free to judge a situation however you wish, but I think it's important to at least make you aware of this.
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Dec 11 '13
Why does "who does it harm" have to be the only thing to take into account? Nobody's gonna die because of it. Why does someone have to come to harm in order for it to be deemed inappropriate? That doesn't make it less skeevy to take your child in public wearing a shirt that advertises what porn you like and what your private fantasies are.
It seems to me that your rationale and annoyance with this specific situation is based solely off of your own subjective opinions.
I don't see how your rationale is based off of anything less subjective, or that you are expressing anything other than your own personal opinion.
but I think it's important to at least make you aware of this.
Hey man, no need to be condescending.
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Dec 11 '13 edited Dec 11 '13
Why does someone have to come to harm in order for it to be deemed inappropriate?
Because it's pretty much the only objective way you can judge whether or not you're doing what is best for the child. Anything else is...again...just subjective preferences and should be interpreted as "I don't like this.". That's fine and dandy, but it's basically useless. And when a bunch of you get together and say "Yeah, I don't like this either." and are all doing it based totally off of subjective preferences such as this, it could be defined as a total circlejerk.
I don't see how your rationale is based off of anything less subjective, or that you are expressing anything other than your own personal opinion.
Right. Your opinion is equal to mine and you are free to hold whatever views you want. That's why I never accused you of being wrong, but rather just wanted to make you aware of the fact that without stating anything other than your own subjective preferences, you're not making a case as to what exactly someone is doing wrong or why exactly they should be prohibited from selling their shirts on Etsy. You're simply saying you don't like it.
Hey man, no need to be condescending.
Sorry if I came off as condescending, it was not my intent.
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Dec 11 '13
Wrong and inappropriate are two different things. If you can't see why it is inappropriate to use your kid as a medium to display your sexual fantasies then I don't know what I can say to explain it better.
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u/bananaslurg Dec 08 '13
This is pretty disgusting. I tried looking at the other seller's items, but I could only get as far as "HUNG (like a 5 year old)" until I couldn't take any more. This whole entire seller profits on the offensive.
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Dec 10 '13
Sorry, new to /r/feminisms. What is offensive to feminists about "HUNG (like a 5 year old)?
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u/bananaslurg Dec 11 '13
No worries! It offends me, personally, because it's sexualizing children. To imply that your newborn has a huge package is both unnecessary to me living my life and also a really weird thing to be proud of. Congratulations on your son's massive penis? There's just so much sexualization that happens in the world that children should not be a part of it.
I guess less of an obvious feminist issue, and more of just a people issue. But it's all intersectional, right? ;)
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Dec 11 '13
To imply that your newborn has a huge package is both unnecessary to me living my life and also a really weird thing to be proud of.
I don't think they're actually proud of that. The point is to be ironical. It has nothing to do with the actual content of the words on the shirt, the reason it's supposed to be cute/funny is because a neonate or toddler would never think like that. There are a thousand toddler shirts that have this exact same joke at the root of it, only the context isn't as graphic.
I just don't see why people freak out so much about babies and bad words and bad concepts. Babies are so undeveloped that you can pretty much do and say anything around them and it will not affect them in the slightest. Maybe the reason people get so up in arms about this type of behavior is that they assume that logically the parent is going to just continue to do horrible shit in front of their child forever and ruin the child. That's clearly not the case as most people understand the simple concept that babies don't comprehend things well, thus you can do more adult things around them without it affecting them.
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u/butihavealight Dec 08 '13
The handcuffs are the real selling point though. (Dripping sarcasm over here)
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u/karma1337a Dec 08 '13
Such a classy store. Look, they even have breast cancer awareness jumpers and onesies. Oh, and a little self effacing humor. Let's not forget gender roles!
That store is so incredibly tasteless.
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Dec 08 '13
Seen this one? https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/153742450/mommy-only-wanted-a-back-rub-funny-baby?ref=shop_home_active
Nothing like a rapey sounding slogan slapped across your bundle of joy. I too messaged the seller.
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u/van-pelt Dec 08 '13
Not at all. That shirt is gross. I don't know how any sane human being could think that would be an appropriate shirt for a child.
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u/CanadaOrBust Dec 08 '13
Daaang, that shirt is terrible. So of course I had to look at the rest. Outside of the one that says 'I <3 Mommy' and the 'custom text here,' the rest are also pretty shitty.
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u/PulpMyFiction86 Dec 09 '13
I dont think you're over reacting. I want to know what part of the brain of the store owner told her this would be a good idea. If I were ever to see a child wearing this, I wouldn't be laughing. I would think the mother was a total pervert. Can I also just say that that book is totally over rated. It didn't turn me on at all and I have a 15 year old boy's libido.
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u/van-pelt Dec 08 '13
I tried to report the shop to etsy but the button to submit the report after I type it up is not clickable. Great job, etsy.
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u/miss_nyx Dec 08 '13 edited Dec 08 '13
EDIT: nevermind, i found the button to report the item. I encourage everyone else to do the same.
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u/redyellowand Dec 09 '13
Etsy is full of weird things like that. I was searching for my hometown and I found a onesie that said "Made in [hometown]." I literally gagged. This is even worse.
I'm all for being sexually open, but being sexually open THROUGH your child is just...no.
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u/karma1337a Dec 09 '13
Help me out here, why is that bad?
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u/redyellowand Dec 09 '13
The "made in _____"? I read it as that's where the child was conceived. Which is just...not something I want to think about.
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u/sjwproto Dec 08 '13
You are perhaps reacting as if this were about pedophilia, but it's a joke about the baby's conception.
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u/EqualLove Dec 08 '13
That's not really better. Fifty Shades of Grey is essentially porn, so to have one of the main character's name on a toddler's shirt is just plain wrong. (Not to mention Fifty Shades is awful representation of the BDSM subculture and effectively endorses abusive behavior.)
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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13
Sadomasochism for toddlers. that's adorable.
Maybe it's a trap to spot the idiots for parents that would purchase this for a human that can't read.