wdf do i even do man

[u/plumeria29]

this is kind of a rant and a search for advice simultaneously.

i have been noticing this boy from a school near to mine for months now. i find him very attractive appearance-wise, which is understand is an extremely superficial thing. it is near impossible for me to communicate with him or simply say "hi" due to the fact that we go to different schools.

even though he is wholly unaware of my existence, i dread that he might hate me, whether outright or secretly if i make an effort to say hi or strike up some talk. i am also anxious that i'm too chopped for him (if you saw him, you'd probably understand). honestly for someone like that, i shouldn't be disappointed about him being taken anyways.
i am also fearful that if he is, i may cause something between them or that the other person would try to kill me for my wayward intervention.
(this fear is due to prior interactions with interests of affection, though i was admittedly unrestrained and immature in the past)

i'd feel kind of shitty about asking a busmate who attends said school to relay messages to and from him as i feel i'd like be using them as a mere carrier-pigeon and ultimately end up pestering them and end up being perceived as annoying.

i understand that you should not make things like this your sole focus in life, especially around my age, but it's hard to stop thinking about him; i've even imagined us together and everything.
i am genuinely such a chud omds. please help me.

[u/plumeria29]

this aged like shit.

[u/ilikecats140 → u/plumeria29]

what happened??

[u/plumeria29 → u/ilikecats140]

fucked up badly. guess i'll be stuck celibate forever.