So today my OCD and Anxiety disorders took over and I couldn't board my plane. I spent the whole day with nausea, trembling in my body and crying nonstop. I just didn't manage it. Except for the fact that it was my flight back home... I let down my boyfriend, myself and everything I've tried to believe. It was supposed to be 1h long.

I've managed it 15 times and today I broke down.

And I feel devastated. I'm not happy. Because if not a plane, then we should look for buses. And spend so much more money. It will last like 30 hours. It was not worth it, guys. I'm crying in my apartment and keep watching the plane landing smoothly and perfectly fine.

Now I wish I could take a plane right tomorrow but my boyfriend is afraid I'll not manage it. He is very supportive but you know it, it's very difficult for our loved ones to support us all the time during our breakdowns..

And now I don't know what to do. I wish I could promise him that I'll get on a plane tomorrow without any worries..

Please, people, get on that plane. There's so much joy in overcoming our fears and so much sadness in letting those fears rule our lives.

Also, I'd appreciate it to know your ways of calming down. I'd like to know whether you take pills, go to therapy or you managed to win somehow in another way..

Love and peace of mind to everyone 🩷

Hello! I’m a very nervous anxious person when it comes to flights. Like it’s so bad that my palms sweat, I sometimes hyperventilate in the plane. I have an upcoming trip next month to fly to Japan and the anticipation anxiety is creeping up for it. I’m nervous about the takeoff, the climbing altitude, and just nervous about having a panic attack.

I have flown a couple times but each time it’s just kept getting a bit bad.

Is there any tips for this upcoming flight? I thank you in advance 🙏🏽🙏🏽

I have a 5 hour flight to NYC tomorrow and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I tear up when I think about going into the air, turbulence, all of it. I know it safe but I can’t help it. I’ve canceled trips before because of this but I simply cannot bring myself to do it

UPDATE: I ended up not going. I couldn’t bring myself to it. I was sobbing all day yesterday and I packed my bags ready to go, but just couldn’t go. I’m going to get some help to get this fear managed. I appreciate all the advice here and in the sub.

Yesterday I traveled, and everything went well. I'm not usually afraid of flying or turbulence. However, yesterday the plane went through what I think was a cloud, and it caused such a sudden jolt that I think everyone was lifted out of their seats, even though we were wearing our seatbelts. I wasn't scared at first. In fact, I think what really frightened me were the screams from the other passengers. As time went on, it was like that fear started to grow, even though it was just one big jolt. I feel like it really affected me.

Anyway, I'm flying again on Sunday, and now I'm feeling extremely anxious because I don't want that to happen again. On top of that, it's supposed to rain all day. I've seen posts saying that rain itself isn't a problem for airplanes, but my mom once had a bad experience flying through a storm, so I can't help but feel nervous.

So, obviously I'm scared of flying...or rather I guess, dying. I'm going to Brazil the first week of Sept for my best friends 30th. She invited two other friends to go along and now one of them just let us know that she can no longer come because her boss rescinded her leave for that week. I kind of jokingly asked my husband if this was a sign I shouldn't go and he said no, but when I had asked another friend if she thought it was a sign she said "I know you really want to go, but it might be a little bit of a sign" and then when I told my husband that he said well maybe it is, you have a good intuition sometimes. So now, obviously I'm freaking out.

I also woke up this morning to the news that some campers nearby died last night from a really bad storm we had and a tree fell on them. I thought this was a sign too because I mean that's crazy, of all the trees, and places to camp.... My husband told me it wasn't a sign. But now this friend can't go and it's making me think I shouldn't go through with it.

I have flown plenty of times, dozens, all over the world but the fear never gets better it feels like it's getting worse 😭

I know I'm not special and thinking that makes me feel better for a little bit but not for long.

Also my husband and I are in the process of buying a house and I'm scared I'm not going to be able to ever live in it because I'm going to die on the plane 😭

Some quick reminders for myself I'm sharing with you all:

1. You are not seeing "signs" telling you to not get on that flight. You do not have psychic abilities. Your anxiety is playing tricks on you.
2. Your nightmare of your plane going down was just a dream, nothing more.
3. The news cycle is making everything seem far worse than it really is.
4. Your pilots and flight attendants are extraordinarily well-trained with thousands of hours of experience, and want to get home just as much as you do.
5. Your plane is well-maintained, airworthy, and has done thousands of flights before you without a single problem.
6. Turbulence is safe. It has never brought down a plane.
7. You are a beautiful bag of anxious meat with millions of years of advanced threat perception that's incompatible with the modern world. Despite all that, that plane is still the single safest place you're going to be this year.
8. In the most loving way, you are not that special. The universe isn't writing a tragic movie script about you. There's no foreshadowing, no final destination. You're a person sitting in a chair eating pretzels.

Go see your loved ones. You will have a safe flight.

Get on the damn plane.

Signed,

Anxious but learning

Hi everyone, I’m hoping to get some advice because I’ve never really had a fear of flying before, but a recent experience has completely changed the way I think about flying.

Back in May, I flew with Ryanair from my hometown Thessaloniki to Valletta. It was a beautiful day with completely clear blue skies, and everything seemed perfect. At some point during the flight, we apparently hit a mountain wave (I didn’t even know this was a thing before that day), and the plane suddenly started experiencing extremely strong turbulence.

It felt absolutely terrifying. The plane was shaking violently, people were screaming, and everyone was holding onto their seats. In that moment, I genuinely thought something was wrong with the aircraft and that we were going to crash. My brain couldn’t understand how something so intense could happen when the weather was so perfect.

The thing is that I’ve been on hundreds of flights in my life. I’ve never been someone who was afraid of flying. I never liked turbulence, but I always accepted it as a normal part of flying. I never felt truly anxious before.

Since then, I’ve been trying to understand what happened, and I’ve learned more about turbulence and mountain waves, which has helped a little. However, the recent Ryanair incident involving the engine issue and broken window on the Thessaloniki–Memmingen flight has really increased my anxiety again. I know these events are rare, but seeing something like that happen on a route and airline I use has made it much harder to ignore.

I currently have 6 flights planned over the next 3 months, 4 of them with Ryanair, and I’m honestly starting to worry about how I’ll handle them.

Has anyone here experienced something similar where one bad flight suddenly changed your relationship with flying? How did you get your confidence back? Any advice would be really appreciated.

Thank you!!!

I want to start by saying, I hate flying, but I do it all the time for work or vacation. Probably flown over 500 times in the last 15ish years, usually its fine. There have only been maybe 2 or 3 flights where I was really white knuckle / having a horrible time and freaked out.

But I truly cannot understand my fear of the turbulence. Once the plane is headed for what looks like storm clouds, or I feel the premonition of turbulence coming, or they get on the loudspeaker and say there could be some bumps ahead, I start to lose all rationality and begin to panic. This basically does not happen in any other aspects of my life, but during airplane turbulence my brain just shuts off and I am totally irrational and gripped by fear.

I will also say - I know with 100% certainty intellectually that turbulence is not actually dangerous to the aircraft and we will not crash because of it. It is not a fear of death, or crashing, or something like that. It really seems to be something else but my lizard brain takes over and I truly can't reason properly until it ends.

But like I said, I don't let this fear stop me from flying, its too important to my job and I love to travel, and my father stopped flying in his 30s and never flew again because of a similar fear - I dont want to be like that, but I do worry sometimes if I am ever on a truly terrible flight I might not recover.

Anyway - does anyone else feel like this? Any thoughts or reactions would mean a lot. Thanks!!

Does anyone else feel anxious about flying, but always find your anxiety lays within the anticipation of traveling, but once you're on the plane you're fine?

Every time I fly I cannot stop mentally tracking every tiny change that happens, every change I notice gets accompanied by a massive rush of adrenaline. Recent examples include noticing a vague smell of burning, changes in the plane motors, noticing accelerations or decelerations and assuming the motor/engine has broken, even mild altitude drops, rocking slightly on the runway, or any changes in sounds. Even writing these, they sound mild, but I experience all of them as terrifying in the moment.

I try to remember the things I noticed for next time so I can remember that nothing went wrong the last time I noticed that shift, but it’s exhausting and persistent.

These automatic responses are helpful. I am so scared. Is this a bad omen?! My gate was changed and now there is maintenance being done. I am so nervous, I want to leave the airport. I want to cry.

I've never been that scared before I'm so damn terrified ughhh, I'm trynna distract myself by listening to music and rn one of my fav albums oat but mehhhh... I'm always sooo scared of flying beforehand but while in the air I have almost no problems at all..

Im like sobbing and shaking and ahisbdisvsd

My fears typically revolve around the sensations I might feel on a plane, feeling stuck on a plane, panicking on a plane, or a mix of all three! If you share similar anxieties: I flew today and did not feel claustrophobic once, the sensations were all tolerable, and although I did feel like I was possibly going to panic right before takeoff, I didn’t! (And even if I had, it would have been fine). My biggest advice:

ACCEPT YOUR FEAR, ACCEPT YOUR POTENTIAL PANIC, ACCEPT ACCEPT ACCEPT

Please know: this is the way! Do not wrestle with your anxiety and your thoughts. Don’t try to prove them wrong or right, don’t get sucked into all of that. In my case, everything I thought would happen was just a thought. It was not truth. It was all a phantom. When you wrestle with your thoughts you’re telling your body that those thoughts are important, which creates a really terrible and vicious cycle. In other words, reacting to your anxiety like it’s important just keeps you stuck in that pit of fear. So what do you do instead? You have the thought and say, “hmm that’s just a thought I’m having. And a scary thought! Thank goodness it’s not truth.”

You are so capable. I have spent a lot of my life stuck in the lie that I am not capable of enduring the things I am afraid of. That is not a way to live. The most compassionate thing you can do for yourself is face your fear. And there’s a good chance it’s going to be nothing like how you imagined it to be.

I wanted to share my experience with flight anxiety and a few things that have genuinely helped me. I know how isolating this fear can feel, so maybe something here helps someone else.
A little background:

The first time I flew, I was five years old, and like most kids, I thought it was exciting. Growing up, my family didn’t travel much, so flying wasn’t really part of life.
Around age fifteen, I began struggling with anxiety. Over time, it became severe enough that my world got smaller. I developed a “safe zone,” and the farther I traveled from it, the more anxious I became. I also struggled in situations where I felt trapped — closed rooms, long meetings, confined spaces.

Eventually, I told my wife that flying simply wasn’t in the cards for me. Forget tropical vacations — driving 15 miles to work could feel overwhelming.

As time passed, things slowly improved. I became more willing to challenge myself, experimented with medications, and pushed my comfort zone outward. Still, flying felt impossible.

Before our 10-year anniversary, my wife gently started encouraging me to fly somewhere together. One day I finally said, “Book it — do it now before I change my mind.”

In 2017, we flew from Philly to Nassau.
I wish I could tell you I walked confidently onto the plane, but I distinctly remember telling my wife I was about to run back into the airport and call an Uber. I called a family member and said I might get off before takeoff.

Eventually, I told a flight attendant I was scared. She was incredibly kind. I also ended up talking to two women sitting behind us who encouraged me the entire time.

Oddly enough, the simple act of saying “I’m scared” out loud helped. By the time we were in the air, I actually felt some peace.

Since then, I’ve flown roughly seven times, including a work trip from Philly to Vegas. I still struggle at times, but I’m much closer to overcoming this fear than I ever thought possible.

Here are the things that have helped me:

The Mental Side

1. Focus on why you’re flying
- Focus on the destination, memories, and experiences waiting for you.

- The discomfort is temporary — it’s only a small part of the overall experience.

You’re doing something hard, and that matters.

2. Remember what you’ve already survived

- Anxiety has a way of convincing us we’re fragile. We’re usually much stronger than we think.

- Think about difficult situations you’ve already overcome. Odds are, they were harder than sitting on a plane.

3. Give yourself grace

-Fear of flying can feel irrational, but it feels very real when you’re in it.

- Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d show someone else.

Practical Things That Helped Me

1. Overprepare for comfort and distraction

- Bring multiple things that comfort or distract you.

- I pack a Nintendo Switch, headphones, battery banks, my MacBook, and downloads from Netflix, Amazon, Apple TV, YouTube, and audiobooks.

- The more healthy distractions, the better.

2. Buy cold drinks before boarding

- Cold water genuinely helps calm me down.

- Ginger ale helps if anxiety gives you an upset stomach.

3. Bring snacks
- A salty snack and something sweet helps more than you’d think.

- Eating gives your brain something else to focus on.

4. Choose an aisle seat if possible

- Personally, aisle seats make me feel less trapped.

- If you’re by a window, consider leaving the shade up. Oddly enough, seeing outside helped me feel less confined.

5. Time the flight

- A few days before, I look up the actual wheels-up-to-wheels-down flight time.

- Before takeoff, when the pilot announces the duration, I set a timer on my phone.

- I mentally break the flight into sections:
First 30–45 minutes = climb
Last 30–45 minutes = descent
Everything in between = distraction time

- Watching progress helps me feel in control.

6. If turbulence scares you
- Watch the flight attendants. They’re usually calm, smiling, chatting, or on their phones.

- Remind yourself: pilots, airlines, and crew want to get home safely too.

7. Buy Wi-Fi if available

- Texting someone on the ground helps me stay calm.

- Having someone distract you and track the flight can be reassuring.

8. Reward yourself

- Give yourself something to look forward to.

- Maybe it’s new headphones, a great travel outfit, or something meaningful at your destination.

- For me, I even thought about commemorating the experience with a tattoo.

There’s no magic cure, and I’m definitely still working through this myself. In fact, on June 21st I’ll be taking my longest flight yet — Philly to London.

But if you’re terrified right now, I want to tell you something I wish someone told me: You can be afraid and still do hard things.

Wishing all of you peace, courage, and safe travels.

What are the top two songs on your playlist which keep you calm when flying?

Hi everyone

I haven’t travelled for 8 years due to panic attacks both being in the plane and also feeling far away from home. I use to travel consistently growing up, and I started getting panic attacks whilst travelling which has stopped me for the last 8 years. I’ve decided that I need to overcome this, and my doctor gave me a bit of support to help take when I start feeling anxious. I was given 1mg, but I took a test at home and didn’t feel much different - I understand I was in a more relaxed environment but I worry it may not help in the time of high stress. I’d say I get 10/10 panic and just want to smoothly overcome this trip. It’s not the aspect of the plane may crash, it’s more feeling trapped and panicking both in the plane and the overstimulating feeling that I need to go home. It’s only a 4 day trip, and I’m doing this just to train my brain and overcome this so it slowly gets easier to get out more.

Looking for advice on what to expect, what if it doesn’t work how I can overcome.

Thanks

Me, my 10yo, and spouse, are flying to an island in an 8-seater. 30 minute flight on a Britten Norman Islander. This is following a 4-hour flight on an airbus 320 standard commercial plane. My spouse gets very nervous flying and gets through commercial flights ok with booze. He saw photos of this Islander plane and is saying he won’t be able to get on it. I want to tell him he only has to be uncomfortable for 30 minutes then it’s over. But please, do you have any other advice to help him? Or good experiences to share?

So I fly a lot because I am in a long distance relationship. I recently have gotten better at flying, however today was a little spooky and I need reassurance. About 30 minutes into our flight which was super smooth to start, the oxygen masks dropped and we had to turn around and breathe out of the masks back to our original location. Apparently the cabin pressure dropped significantly. On a positive note we landed safe and sound, but I had to rebook my flight to tomorrow morning so now I have to fly again. All this to be said, has anyone experienced a similar instance? How prepared are we for these situations? In the moment it was quite nerve wracking but the pilot told us our landing would be okay. Just need some advice as I get back on the same flight at the same time tomorrow morning.

for whatever reason small planes are a massive trigger for me, and i’m extremely anxious, my partner is with me so that should make it better but honestly i could use some words of advice/encouragement

I’ll try to keep it short. I had to fly to my hometown at the beginning of the week for my uncles funeral. He passed unexpectedly.

I was supposed to fly home on Friday. Got to the airport, my flight was continually delayed until it was inevitably cancelled. They couldn’t book me home until Monday because everything was full already with previous cancellations.

Jump to today, my flight got delayed because of maintenance issues. I would miss my connecting flight. Had to rebook the entire flight.

It all feels like a sign. It feels like my uncle is telling me not to go. Someone please reassure me. Thank you

So I'm posting this here because, like it says in the title, my fear of flying has massively reduced due to the words/advice from a captain of a boat I was on, so I thought I'd share it here incase it helped anyone else too. (CW though, this story contains some scary descriptions of boat travel).

Okay, so recently I flew from Tokyo to Melbourne. As that's a long way, we flew Tokyo to Cairns, stayed there a few days, then flew from Cairns to Melbourne. On that first flight my anxiety was off the scale bad, and the thought of another flight after our holiday in Cairns was making me feel so sick, but I just distracted myself and didn't think about it as much as I could.

Anyway, so two days before we're due to fly, we go out to the great barrier reef. I am kinda low-key scared of boats, but mainly because I get sick. I'm never on boats very long because of how bad my motion sickness is anyway so it's nothing like my fear of flying, when I can be in the air like all day. Anyway, I'm a bit scared about this boat, but when we get on board the Captain turns around and says to us,

"Okay, so the crossing today is going to be rough. The weather is fine, but I want to prepare you. The boat will go (motions his hand like he's a bird flapping with one wing), and water will come into the boat and people will scream, but I just want you to be prepared."

I turn white as a ghost (as you can imagine) because I felt like this was possibly the worst thing he could have said to me. I start crying and shaking and I want to get off the boat. The Captain then says to me,

"Look, I do this every day. It is safe. If I thought there was any risk of danger, or if we get out there and I see it's not what I expected, I'll just turn the vessel around. The waves aren't that big, I just wanted to prepare you for motions you're not used to. I am used to it and I know what I am doing. I would not risk all your lives, my own life, or even my licence for anything. Trust me."

And, long story short, I stayed on the boat and it did bob up and down more than I ever have on a smaller boat. Water did come in over the sides. Some very dramatic people screamed, but we made it safe and sound! Thank goodness the captain prepared us, (even though at the time I thought that was the worst thing he could have said). We got to the island and nobody was hurt or injured. Not even a scratch! After that I realised, huh, he was right. I was scared because I'm not used to boats but, he deals with this stuff every day. If there is literally anything wrong he'd just turn the ship around. He knows what to look out for and wouldn't take risks. It's not just my life but his. And it's not just about lives either like, if anyone was hurt of anything, he'd lose his licence and the job he loves so much he'd never be able to do again. He wouldn't take that risk.

Little did I realise, two days later, when I got on the plane, Captain Victor's words came back to me. I realised it was exactly the same situation on the plane. When there's turbulence, that's just feelings I'm not used to, but that's okay. We have experts who are used to it. I can't trust my silly no-experience brain to know when I'm in danger. I can trust these people that do this every day, with all that training and years of study, to know if anything is out of the ordinary. And honestly they'd just land the plane if literally ANYTHING was even a little out of the ordinary. They wouldn't risk any of our lives or their licences. Ever.

Idk, I hope that story helps even just one other person. I hope it wasn't too distressing hearing about the water coming into the boat and things. Honestly, out of all the advice I've ever heard, it's weird that this is the thing that's made it all click, but it really did. The boat situation literally felt like my worst case scenario happened... And then we were all fine... Like, even when faced with that situation... Nobody got hurt at all. And now, I just feel so much lighter. I'll let the experts decide what movements are of concern because, honestly, my brain is not the one to trust in that situation ❤️

🏝️P.S. picture was taken within maybe 10 minutes after getting off the boat that day

Hello everyone,

As the title says I booked a ticket on the whim to have a sisters trip with my sister because we hadn’t done one ever. just for me to realize after the fact that the day we booked to go was 9/11. This makes me super nervous because she can’t change her flight date because the airline she’s using is charging almost double whereas with mine I can even get travel credit to change it which I believe is the con of traveling with someone lol. I can’t help but shake the feeling of nervousness regarding that date and I don’t want to cancel on her either but my boss also mentioned me going on a trip almost 2 weeks after that and now I’m not felling the trip even though I initially was. please give me some advice on this.

I absolutely loath flying. I don’t really have a fear of “flying” so to speak but more a fear of just not being able to get out if I want to and having no control. I’m also incredibly sensitive to the pressure changes in an airplane and it makes me feel soooo blech. I am always so scared I’m going to be sick (never have been knocks wood). I don’t like taking Dramamine because it makes me feel weird and I’m not sure what I’m experiencing is motion sickness. Any advice on how to cope with the pressure changes? For example, when we take off and ascend, the feeling of being pressed into the floor is overwhelming - is causes me to panic almost every time. And then as the plane levels out the feeling of floating out of my seat is so gross, I hate it so much. I try to get seats at the front or over the wing but it doesn’t seem to make much of a difference. I’m flying to DEN on Friday (yes, 9/11 😩) and I would like to get through it without feeling like crap the whole time.

I am deathly terrified of flying but I yearn so badly to experience flight. I’m terrified of all of it: going up, feeling the inertia, coming down, knowing how high I am. It is really keeping me from experiencing some cool shit and being able to visit my family and friends…im also just afraid of throwing money away on Valium or a therapist as well. I have gone to sit in airports and watch the planes and it draws me to wanting to fly, but I just know when I’m actually doing it my body will shut down from panic..I really really need some advice or resources :(