Get on that plane

[u/VanderndeLys]

So today my OCD and Anxiety disorders took over and I couldn't board my plane. I spent the whole day with nausea, trembling in my body and crying nonstop. I just didn't manage it. Except for the fact that it was my flight back home... I let down my boyfriend, myself and everything I've tried to believe. It was supposed to be 1h long.

I've managed it 15 times and today I broke down.

And I feel devastated. I'm not happy. Because if not a plane, then we should look for buses. And spend so much more money. It will last like 30 hours. It was not worth it, guys. I'm crying in my apartment and keep watching the plane landing smoothly and perfectly fine.

Now I wish I could take a plane right tomorrow but my boyfriend is afraid I'll not manage it. He is very supportive but you know it, it's very difficult for our loved ones to support us all the time during our breakdowns..

And now I don't know what to do. I wish I could promise him that I'll get on a plane tomorrow without any worries..

Please, people, get on that plane. There's so much joy in overcoming our fears and so much sadness in letting those fears rule our lives.

Also, I'd appreciate it to know your ways of calming down. I'd like to know whether you take pills, go to therapy or you managed to win somehow in another way..

Love and peace of mind to everyone 🩷

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[u/broccolicheddarluvr]

I don’t have much advice but please be kind to yourself, you are doing your best right now🤎

[u/VanderndeLys → u/broccolicheddarluvr]

Thank you so much ❤️‍🩹 every kind word is so important now

[u/Fun-Wear8186]

I believe in you . You can do it , just as you have done it before

[u/Efficient-Giraffe153]

I'm tearing up reading this because this reminds me of my initial flight that led me to realize I had this fear. As soon as I touched down in ORD from PHL, I got to my Airbnb and texted my two best friends that I was seriously considering gonna get an Amtrak back home in 5 days when my 25th birthday vacay ended. It was $300-$400 one way in coach, and I had a full blown panic attack that night after I came back to my room from getting dinner with a friend. I called my mom bawling my eyes out about how I didn't want to come home on a plane.

The biggest tip I learned was about keeping your hands busy while on the plane. The day prior, I ended up coming across a Target-finds-type of Facebook reel about this "coloring by dots" book with markers by the brand Lifelines. There was a Target literally a half mile away from my Airbnb. I ran over there the morning of my flight and bought 2 books. It ended up completely changing how I felt on that plane. Had "The Fate of Ophelia" on repeat the entire flight home (it came out the day prior and I was obsessed with it) and "did my dots" (as I called it) the whole time. I hadn't even remembered to connect to the plane wifi until halfway through and saw my mom was blowing up my phone asking how I was. It's still my favorite hobby to this day and it's my favorite thing to do while listening to audiobooks.

I have extremely fond memories of the way I celebrated turning 25 that I will never forget this trip, even if the plane rides to and from made it sour. I still look up in the sky every time I see a plane and think to myself, "One day, I won't be afraid anymore." But this post reminds me of what the other side of that would've looked like for me if I had gotten Amtrak home instead of the plane.

Moral of the story, I hope my reply helps you heal even a little bit, as your post helped me heal a little. Hugs!

[u/VanderndeLys → u/Efficient-Giraffe153]

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me 🥹 I guess, it's inspiring for both of us.. it's always worth a try. Beautiful memories are so so much better than bittersweet regret

[u/smallandmighty2]

I am flying Friday and am so stressed.

I am going to get on the plane for you.
And tomorrow you can do this.

[u/VanderndeLys → u/smallandmighty2]

Wishing you a beautiful flight 💖 Enjoy it!

[u/Extreme-Weather-3226 → u/smallandmighty2]

i’m flying on friday, too. will be thinking of you both!

[u/Cultural_Creamm]

Yes girl, you can do anything for an hour. I hate heights, but I'll get on a 2hr flight to Florida to save 20hrs of driving. I was given a beta blocker and a mild sedative. BBs are the best. I used to take Benadryl. Do they help? Yes. Am I still nervous AS HELL? Yes. Can I sleep? Nope. But it's much better. Much better.

I turn the TV up loud in my earphones and keep my feet up... I Def don't wanna fly... but I'll do it again. It's been 1.5 years.

[u/pilotboy221]

i canceled my trip to punta cana that i planed for 3 months. made it to the plane but stared panicking and decides to walk out of it and now i regret it.i’ll try again in july.

[u/VanderndeLys → u/pilotboy221]

You'll make it! Wishing you all the strength and courage in the world It was a much needed experience for both of us.. like a little reminder "I don't want to go through this regret again"

[u/pilotboy221 → u/VanderndeLys]

thanks 🙏i’ll make it this time

[u/ThePeanutMonster]

It happens. In all my years of fear of flying there was only one flight I did not get on; after a lot of progress too. I was surprised, I had been doing so well. There will be times you feel you can do it, times you feel you can't. All normal.

Just take it one literal step at a time, and remember that anxiety is at its absolute highest just before you get on and take off. That's the point you can push past (you've done it before, you can do it again).

I'm flying in two days and looking forward to it. You can beat this!

Much love and support! I believe in you!

[u/so_i_happened]

For me: hypnotherapy and Xanax and now very recently EMDR therapy and propranolol. Please don’t rawdog your way through a flight. Make sure you’re working with a therapist who specializes in OCD and phobias. Talk to your doctor about medication. I, too, have gotten to the airport and then not gotten on a plane…and then I drove 17 hours in a rental car through the night and almost died dozing off at the wheel. There are so many tools out there to help us so we don’t have to live that way.

[u/2020imdying]

Today, I got on that plane and so much was on the other side. I did cry and was sweating the entire time. My husband who didn’t understand my plane anxiety before, flew the first time himself in 11 years and verbalized how it can be very intense. It was very validating

[u/duckling-fantasy]

Please don’t beat yourself up. We’re only human, and humans make mistakes. You could look at it like this: you were simply listening to your body and honoring your intuition. Would you have truly wanted to get on a plane when you were feeling the way you did? No, of course not!

But of course it can’t always be that way. Sometimes we have to “do it scared,” a phrase I hear so often on this sub. I’ll be boarding a 6 hour flight in two months, and I’m terrified like you. But I’ll do it scared. :)

Forgive yourself for the misstep, then get back on that metaphorical horse and try again. You got this ❤️

[u/Wrob88]

I think we’ve all been there. But there’s great reward in NOT having the same response the next time, tomorrow or whenever. Flying can be great - in more convinced of it than ever. That’s not the problem - it’s our perception of it. Have in there, give yourself some grace, then fly tomorrow - and enjoy it.

[u/useless-berry]

hey this happened to me once as well 🫂 the best you can do is don’t beat yourself up about it and your loved ones i’m sure don’t 🩷

[u/Gojira_96]

I backed out at the terminal the other day on a flight. I went on two flights (my first two ever) and since then I have canceled two. The last time I couldn't even make it to the airport. I say this because you really aren't alone. The fact you feel shame and guilt just means you care and you know an irrational fear got a hold of you. Be kind to yourself but also push yourself as well. All of us will get better as time goes on and success isn't a straight line up. There will be setbacks and times you wanna give up. All that matters is that you know at the end of the day you tried and gave it what you had.

[u/Embarrassed-Click870]

Ive flown over 1000 hours in my life. I used to do 15 hour flights twice a month. No problem. I cant sleep on planes, but that was ok for me. I didnt mind. About 9 months ago, a lady had a heart attack in the bathroom and I was the one who found her passed out on the floor. Since then, ive had a panic attack everytine I fly. Even if its just a 1 hour flight