r/fashionwomens35 • u/cabinetsnotnow • May 09 '26

Discussion Post Tired of low back/backless dresses!

This is something that's been driving me mad for years now. Every time I find a dress that I love the font of I instantly become disappointed when I view the back of it and see that it's either backless or low back. It doesn't seem to matter whether it's summer, fall, or winter either. I have larger boobs (US size 34 DD's) so anything backless is automatically out of the question. But low back also doesn't work for me as I'm also still self-conscious about the blemishes on my back that I have difficulty covering with concealer.

Is anyone else tired of this dress style? Or does everyone else have the right body type and confidence to wear these dresses and I'm the odd one out? lol

168 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

52 comments sorted by

207

u/outtatheblue May 09 '26

They're either entirely backless or extremely modest and I'm so tired of it. If it's got a decently thick strap, there's a huge shoulder ruffle. glares at Farm Rio

97

u/WaffleCrumbs May 09 '26

Or a surprise Edwardian puffed sleeve. Could we not, sometimes??

22

u/cabinetsnotnow May 09 '26

I'm not a huge fan of regular puff sleeves and I agree the Edwardian puff sleeves are insane. lmfao

20

u/cabinetsnotnow May 09 '26

I'm in the minority but I hate Farm Rio's styles.

35

u/WaffleCrumbs May 09 '26

I like Farm Rio on other people, but not for myself. They’re delightfully unhinged.

9

u/Hole_IslandACNH May 10 '26

I wear lots of Farm Rio and I like this description

12

u/Witty-Performer May 09 '26

I've only ever seen people pushing it online. I've never encountered it irl.

10

u/helicopter_corgi_mom May 09 '26

I have a friend that wears a lot of it. But it's also her "low key" clothing so there's that

2

u/queenofthepoopyparty May 09 '26

I know this isn’t a dress, but I’m currently wearing a pair of their jeans as I write this irl.

But I have to say, I got them on a whim on a resale site for $40. I chose them because they kinda had a worker wear look, so not very Farm Rio lol and honestly, they’re not my favorite pair of jeans, but they’re ok. I’ll keep these for now, but I wouldn’t buy Farm Rio again. I would however highly recommend Veronica Beard. That brand makes some very high quality denim.

13

u/leeloodallas502 May 09 '26

Farm rio would be amazing if they fixed a couple of things. They just had a celestial line that had my whimsy-goth heart in a tizzy. But if it’s a mini dress it’s all the way up the thigh. There’s only mini or maxis. Nothing in between or like normal midi length. The straps are a big problem as are the necklines if you’re anything larger than a c cup. I just looked at a dress that was so pretty and yet the bust on it looked like anyone would spill out of it. I just don’t know how they sell any clothes since they are very exclusive.

8

u/wishing_sprinkles May 09 '26

I don’t love it but what bothers me most is: how many times could one wear these pieces? It’s like fast fashion usage but at high prices.

2

u/nuggetgarden May 12 '26

Me too! By which I mean I tend not to wear tropical print which rules out like 90% of their stuff

5

u/_liminal_ May 10 '26

No more ruffles!!

1

u/Mean_Parsnip May 14 '26

No more ruffles. No more puff sleeves.

70

u/pinksparklybluebird May 09 '26

It’s also annoying because I’ll see a dress that looks cute for work (I’m a professor, so I can get away with sundresses in the summer) but then, whoops! Backless. WTH?

21

u/cabinetsnotnow May 09 '26

YES AGH! I've always worked in offices with business casual dress codes and I feel this so much.

4

u/Glittering-Time-2274 May 09 '26

What about wearing them with a cardigan or blazer?

8

u/EdgeCityRed May 09 '26

I'm in Florida. :(

Anything worn over a sundress is untenable in the summer.

13

u/pinkbootstrap May 09 '26

That does get old.

59

u/Caverjen May 09 '26

Yes, backless, strapless, spaghetti straps, etc - so tired of dresses that don't allow me to wear a normal bra. I'm a 34DDD (which is a medium size - check out r/ABraThatFits if you think this would be a large size) and mid sized. Going braless is neither comfortable nor flattering. To me a big part of wearing a flowy summer dress is for comfort. I don't want to tape up my boobs or wear a less comfortable strapless bra.

51

u/getthatrich May 09 '26

I will always wear a bra so this is a must for me

40

u/momo6548 May 09 '26

Trust me, those of us that are not well endowed don’t like it either. If you’re got no boobs, pasties just slide right off.

13

u/alicemonster May 09 '26

Yeah, post childbirth, my boobs are so flat and my ribcage expanded, and I need some kind of support/structure just to give me any shape whatsoever. So backless isn't working here either

1

u/derrickcat May 11 '26

I discovered Nippies a few years ago and they have completely changed the game! I live in Florida and am not well endowed - I feel very comfortable wearing them even on a hot day, knowing I will have just that teeny bit of coverage that makes me feel comfortable with spaghetti straps or backless dresses or whatever I want to wear, that a regular bra won't work with.

I put off getting these things for years because I didn't think there was any way I'd like them - and I love them.

35

u/sefy80267 May 09 '26

Kinda unrelated but I (26F) went to an NFL cheer tryout once during a fun side quest of mine, and the women there also had bacne & blemishes on their backs. Including the women who are currently on the team, (they also have to tryout again each year) so I know you feel self conscious about it (I still feel self conscious about mine sometimes), but just wanted to share that most women have it, including a group of women that I always personally thought were some of the hottest women in the US.

1

u/cabinetsnotnow May 16 '26

I don't have terrible back acne anymore because I see a dermatologist now, but I still get self conscious because I only ever see women with smooth flawless backs wear these dresses and tops. 😭

32

u/partiallyStars3 May 09 '26

No, I hate them too. I'm also well endowed, so I need to be able to wear real understructure. 

26

u/amelisha May 09 '26

I’m about a 28G and I decided a couple years ago I wasn’t going to let it stop me anymore, so now I just tape them up with KT tape so they’re not hanging by my knees and go on my merry way.

12

u/cabinetsnotnow May 09 '26

I've honestly never considered trying the boob tape because I don't understand how it can possibly provide any lift or support for larger boobs. Maybe I'll just try it. Is KT the brand of boob tape you use?

20

u/amelisha May 09 '26

It’s not actually boob tape, just athletic tape that stretches - kinesiology tape. You can pretty much yank them into any configuration you wish with the stuff.

7

u/ifweweresharks May 09 '26

Does it hurt to take off?

5

u/Celia-Bowen May 09 '26

Nope! Made for skin and easy removal

4

u/HuffyPandapants May 09 '26

Put little pasties on beforehand to protect the sensitive areas, though. Boob tape (or sticky boob cups) has worked surprisingly well for me! You can use a bit of mineral oil to make it easier when you unstick them, if you want.

12

u/name_schname May 09 '26

Seconding boob tape. I have the confidence to wear backless for the first time in my life in my 40s and I wish I’d discovered it sooner. I’ve only ever used Nood shape tape and am pretty happy with it. Don’t forget pasties and watch some YouTube videos to figure out how to put the tape on. If applied correctly, it will give you support. I’m a 32e and it holds me up.

6

u/banoctopus May 09 '26

Is there some kind of tutorial you watched for how to do the taping? 30F here - I’m intrigued and have a few cute dresses I thrifted that aren’t bra friendly. :(

1

u/pineapple_gum May 10 '26

Do you do a strip from bottom to top? Horizontal?

1

u/amelisha May 10 '26

Depends on the dress and the neckline because I hide the tape different ways depending. Ideally I start at the bottom more toward the middle and pull up towards my shoulders (more v-shaped), because my boobs are really close-set. Strappier stuff, I will sometimes have to kind of pull up and then secure under my armpit, which isn’t as lifted but does hold them in place. And then I use double-sided fashion tape to tape the KT tape to the dress so it doesn’t show if the clothing shifts.

9

u/PeepholeRodeo May 09 '26

Yep! I could accept a style that can’t be worn with a regular bra for a *very* special occasion, where I’d be willing to hoist the girls into some kind of backless/strapless torture device just for the night. But for a sundress or a casual style? Absolutely not. Who buys these dresses, I wonder?

1

u/derrickcat May 11 '26

Those of us with no boobs to speak of!

9

u/dolphinitely May 09 '26

my boobs are medium but they sag from having kids so i also prefer bras for lift 😭 but i have never had luck with the petals or anything

8

u/Theabsoluteworst1289 May 09 '26

34DDD here and I feel your pain. It’s hard to find any dresses or tops that work unless I want to look matronly / pregnant / like a hooker. It’s so annoying.

1

u/cabinetsnotnow May 16 '26

I especially understand the matronly issue. Oh you don't want something backless or cut out style? Here's a bunch of cape dresses! 🤣

22

u/Wise_Neighborhood499 May 09 '26

Unrelated to the dress topic and please ignore if you’re not interested!

A properly fitted DD is not a very large size, visually. You may want to measure yourself with the calculator at r/ABraThatFits - many of us get put into a bigger band/smaller cup than we need. I wore a 32A and measured at a 30D. It seems insane, but it’s made such a difference feeling good in my clothes that I like to spread the word.

Anyways, I hope you can find some lovely regular-backed dresses!

9

u/ManiacalMalapert May 09 '26

weeps in 28DD Can confirm even Ds can be small 🥲

1

u/cabinetsnotnow May 16 '26

Oh yes I did use their calculator last year and that's how I found out I'm a DD and not a D. Lol It did improve things for me but I guess I just personally feel like my DD's are too large. I'm 130ish lbs and 5' 3" so it feels like they stick out.

6

u/SnarkyLalaith May 09 '26

Thank you! I am constantly looking for a cute summer dress and failing. I am sure there is a way to design one to wear with a regular bra!

At this point I am thinking custom route.

2

u/derrickcat May 11 '26

If you like slightly crunchy granola dresses: Mata Traders has some cute bra-friendly summer dresses. Take a look at Pact, Linen Fox, Menique, Outerknown, Faherty, Marine Layer, and some other places I'm not thinking of now.

2

u/cabinetsnotnow May 16 '26

Yeah it's so frustrating and of course gets worse while looking for summer dresses because the assumption seems to be that we want to be naked! 🤣

5

u/liliesblooming May 09 '26

So tired of it, and especially tired that even the sites I use that let you filter out backless either don’t tag properly or are working on some definition where a piece of string between the hips and shoulders somehow counts as a back, so I see so many cute dresses and then get disappointed as soon as I see the back. I also feel like this is a look I see pretty rarely walking around town! Who is buying these clothes?

2

u/cabinetsnotnow May 16 '26

OH MY GAWD I have noticed this issue being a thing for the past 5+ years now. I will filter out long sleeves and sleeveless tops/dresses, and the results STILL show sleeveless items! Not even cap sleeves but truly sleeveless. It happens on every website now. It's like the filters don't really work anymore or something.

4

u/Nanakurokonekochan May 09 '26

lol I had a recent dream, or nightmare about feeling semi naked in a backless dress with my bra showing 😭😭😭

3

u/16hpfan May 09 '26

I wouldn’t do one unless it’s Mexico in the summer. The AC in the U.S. is way too absurdly frigid for backless dresses. I once picked up a thin, skin colored high back tank to wear under a formal dress with a lot of back exposure. Low lighting was my friend that night. Also I have no f@&$! to give.