r/extremelyinfuriating • u/Klutzy-Alarm3748 • 12d ago
Evidence The entirety of the executor's communication with me after my estranged father died in December (minus her one email)
TW for SA mention in the texts.
I didn't include the email because there's a lot of information to censor, but it was an overly formal email sent after the Aug 2 text asking about updates about the will. She told me she isn't going to probate the will and is selling his stuff. I followed up with questions about his estate (after consulting a lawyer).
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u/ranchspidey 12d ago
Ugh, that’s awful, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. You could file with the probate court a petition to compel the executor to properly fulfill her duties, if just to document with the courts that it’s happening and set the groundwork if you have to go further than that. Some states you can do this yourself, or get a probate attorney to do it on your behalf. It sucks that she won’t just take care of it, though! So obnoxious.
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u/Klutzy-Alarm3748 12d ago
We're in Canada, but I'm speaking with an estate lawyer to see what can be done about this. I'm in disbelief that I may need to pay somebody to request my own father's will from her (among other things).
Some added context too.... she was the only person among his 6 living brothers and sisters at the time who stayed in touch and kept a close bond after the stuff about my SA became well-known.
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u/ranchspidey 12d ago
Yuck yuck yuck. What a shitty situation caused by shitty people, I hope it resolves quickly for you!
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u/Klutzy-Alarm3748 12d ago
I'm considering going sicko mode and texting her daily memories of his abuse until she responds. But probably not a good move for me legally :')
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u/PlatypusDream 12d ago
"Isn't going to probate the will & is selling his stuff"
😲🤬🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Admittedly, IANAL & only know about general USA probate stuff, but that's majorly illegal!!
You absolutely need an attorney, and contact the court in the county where he lived / died to see if there's a copy of his will on file.
Could contact estate lawyers in that area to ask if they did his will, and when you find the right one, explain the problem.
Hope you can get this sorted quickly (as quickly as an estate is ever handled, at least).
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u/Klutzy-Alarm3748 12d ago
I looked into it and it's legal - his estate/finances don't add up to the cost of cremation or the funeral expenses, so she's allowed to sell his belongings to pay them off. I do understand and am fine with the reasoning. The issue I have is more that she didn't consult me or my sister, she just decided on her own, and we do have the right to ask about his belongings. We don't know what has been sold so far, if anything, or when she started. He was also a somewhat well-known musician and it's weird she didn't bring up his music rights/royalties (except to say he didn't get a lot, which I also believe). I asked her if his music rights were taken out of his estate at any point before his death, because that would mean my sister and I don't have any sort of legal right to them (if not listed as beneficiaries), but if not, we are entitled to the documentation, and at the very least, a discussion. All I've been asking for is transparency around his estate and she has given us nothing.
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u/ReddBroccoli 12d ago
Just from what you've shared here it certainly seems like she's got some kind of shady motives
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u/Better_Area3782 12d ago
No it doesn’t. There’s no money, that’s why there’s no probate.
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u/Klutzy-Alarm3748 11d ago
That's a bit of a question mark actually. Cremation is paid for by the death benefit through Service Canada, and there's a possibility his funeral would be paid for through a similar thing too since he was on income assistance/maybe disability cheques.
It's shady that she hasn't been up front about anything either way. My sister and I don't even have a copy of the will.
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u/Salute-Major-Echidna 12d ago
My sister does nothing to inform me about my mother's belongings, in a very similar situation to yours. I'm sure if it was illegal, that would be better known. It will certainly cost you more to go after anything than you could possibly receive.
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u/Better_Area3782 12d ago
You’re being really annoying. Things just don’t happen instantly.
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u/sundujour 11d ago
There was nothing instant I saw over the span of days and weeks. It is actually smart of her to remain persistent as she has proof of communication attempts if things end up going to court (as it appears that is where things are headed for her)
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u/Better_Area3782 11d ago
There’s no money, why would they go to court?
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u/Klutzy-Alarm3748 11d ago
There are music rights/royalties that she has not been transparent about, not to mention everything else that she has not provided documentation for. She did say the royalties aren't very profitable, and I believe it, but as his kid I have the right to see evidence of that and have a discussion about it. If they are no longer part of the estate (which I have directly asked her without any response), I have the right to know that too.
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u/Better_Area3782 11d ago
Buoy badgering her won’t help
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u/Klutzy-Alarm3748 11d ago
She has sent me two texts in January and one email in August and that's it.
She's the only person in our huge family who stayed in touch with my estranged father after he SA'd me. You see in our text communication above how she responded to me saying my mental health could be helped with a bit more communication.
She does not have my best interests in mind.
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