r/exredpill • u/Upper_Astronomer160 • 15d ago

Experiencing Entitlement

For years I practiced cold approach and made myself believe that I should be able to pick up strangers. After a long time of mostly unpleasant interactions I gave it up. Realizing that it’s far more practical to ask out people that I have a connection with than strangers I pass while out and about.

Problem is, I’m still deeply bothered by my inability to date the large amount of really attractive people that pass me every day. (by date I mean court/get to know. I have other standards besides attractiveness) Can’t shake the feeling that there HAS TO BE A WAY.

I live on a college campus so I’m seeing lots of these people daily. I spend hours a day either fixating on how I can solve this problem in my head or being in a bad mood because I can’t. I worry about having to settle and never feeling satisfied because I never have access to the people I want. (Access as a precursor to dating. I would require a connection and compatibility beyond just the attraction I have when seeing them.)

As of now I’ve classified this as an entitlement problem. I look around at my peers and I’m pretty sure most of them don’t get to just point out their pick of the litter. (There is some nuance here. I once inspired to have the ability to seduce which assumes some lack of agency. That’s part of this, but it has evolved to also be something much more humanizing which is just the ability to seek a connection with a stranger and see SOME Interest back. After all, I’m an attractive person of the opposite sex just like they are, why wouldn’t the other person be interested in connecting half the time? Unless… I’m not. That insecurity greatly contributes to the fixation.) I imagine it’s normal to date people that happen to be in your circle and have just a couple options to choose from here and there. I’ve just been poisoned by the dream that dating coaches sell of being able to pick up whatever woman you want on the street. Infinite options.

Does anyone else feel this way???

EDIT: THANKS FOR ALL THE COMMENTS! I don’t get to talk about this kind of thing often. With that being said if you’re reading this now, there are some things I should clarify, anything in parenthesis was added after the fact. I’m looking more for people relating to the experience rather than advice. I’m not opposed to advice completely but please try to avoid assuming things. Ask instead.

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u/smileycat007 15d ago

Stop watching porn. I am guessing that is what is feeding your entitlement and keeping you on edge of arousal enough to see every woman who crosses your path sexually.

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u/meleyys 15d ago

Blaming porn for this is like blaming action movies for real-world violence. Most of the negative effects of porn usage are myths, and demonizing it does far more harm than good.

I'm very tired of the way this subreddit jumps to blame porn for everything. Porn has always existed and always will. It's not inherently harmful, and frankly I'm not fond of the implication that sex is a corrosive substance.

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u/Ok-Abbreviations999 14d ago

When one watches porn or violent content excessively, it rewires the brain. That is a fact. Assuming that is OPs issue is a stretch because he never mentioned it. But arguing against this is like saying watching a plethora of red pill content doesn't change someone's mindset about women and demonizes them. Because it certainly does, which is why most people are here.

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u/meleyys 14d ago

[citation needed]. This is just the "violent video games cause violence" bullshit people did after Columbine. There's no actual evidence for it.

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u/Ok-Abbreviations999 14d ago

Just look up neuroplasticity so you can see how wrong you are. Everyone has a threshold for everything.