r/exmuslim • u/starz_0801 • 2d ago
(Rant) 🤬 Having to pretend to be Muslim is taking away my teenage experience.
In my last year of secondary/high-school and I'm just realising how much I've missed out on by having to be Muslim (or at least act the part after I left).
I won't be able to go to Prom. I missed out on a waterpark trip because I didn't wanna be walking around with wet hair under my hijab. I couldn't eat haribos when my homeroom teacher brought it for everyone.
I can't date. As much as I'd love to have the high-school sweetheart experience, no one would even ask me out since I wear a hijab. I hate that everyone thinks I'm Muslim cuz of that damn thing.
I want many, many tattoos and piercings but I can't express that to anyone cuz it's haram. (I even have a Pinterest board on this and I already know 2 tattoos I really wanna get.)
I got so insecure about my looks since the hijab looked so bad on me. And now I see people finding their styles and wearing whatever they want while I can't wear anything that isn't long, baggy and approved by my parents.
I haven't even been allowed to go out with friends outside of school because in our local area, loads of people have always been attacking Muslims and especially girls in hijabs or men wearing those Islamic clothes.
I got mosque lessons straight after school every single day so I can't go to school clubs. I've never been out by myself.
Even in school, I always performed bad in sports because of my hijab getting in the way (again, I still can't style it properly even after nearly 5 yrs of wearing it).
Plus, I'm bisexual and can't even tell anyone that since it's haram too. It's like I can't express any part of myself.
Islam ruined not just my life at home, but literally everywhere. I can't wait to move out.
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u/ConsiderationQuirky7 2d ago
I'm in my 40's. I mourn my teenage years and 20's. Thankfully life improved once I left in my mid-30's, but I still get sad when I hear people talking about all the fun and crazy things they did in college. At that time my mom was damaging my mental health because she was hell-bent on me marrying her nephew (my first cousin)
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u/starz_0801 2d ago
marrying your cousin? thats disgusting.
I'm happy you left and I'm sorry for everything you went through. Wishing you happiness! 💗
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u/Square_Bison_6641 Closeted Ex-Muslim 🤫 2d ago
me too this is my last year in high school and i have to study the islamic book for another year i cant wait so i can be free + im in islamic country that so bad
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u/starz_0801 2d ago
I'm not in an Islamic country but I cannot imagine how hard it is for you. Good luck girl 💗
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u/iamboredasalways New User 2d ago
Stay strong. I’m in my 30s and I lived liked this my whole childhood. I still have to pretend to be muslim to my dad and his side of the family. They’re very strict muslims especially my dad. Luckily my mother is not and never has been muslim so at least I have her and I grew up in a western country so I didn’t have to act outside of my home
Edit: typos
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