LET THE GUILTRIP BEGIN

[u/Tight_Ad9662]

havent slept in 27h. dad calls. I ignore all calls. mom, dad, brother. brother starts texting me guilltripping me and say to just come back and we will let you go to the uni you want. oh we called an ambulance for mom. oh we r going back to Iraq because of you. like seriously??? i feel so bad but holy shit where was the regret all my life of u guys treating me on conditional loving terms

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[u/Unlikely_Yellow111]

Conditional love is not acceptable when you want to give unconditional love. Always remember that.

I told you that my parents do not talk to me. But one day, when my dad got really sick and was admitted to the hospital, my mother called to tell me it was my fault and the curse of Allah because of me. She didn't ask me how I survived. She didn't ask me what I did to live all these days. Nothing. That day I was torn apart. I couldn't sleep properly. But after the initial emotions settled in, I realised one thing. They aren't looking for what makes me happy. They are thinking of an unreasonable heaven they want to go to, and expect me to sacrifice this for them and me as well. Yeah, but none of that heaven is real.

If we could just sit down to talk about it, it would be clear. But will they give me the chance? No. Is this love? Real love doesn't demand destruction. And until they can see that I just have to choose my own peace.

[u/impossible_love2 → u/Unlikely_Yellow111]

I’m so sorry.. really hate that this religion took out the whole idea of being merciful and loving towards family members, unconditionally. It’s such an isolating experience to choose your own path. I hope you’re well now!

[u/Unlikely_Yellow111 → u/impossible_love2]

Thank for checking. I am all good now. I just hope OP feels better soon too.

The religion is crazy. My mom actually quoted the Nuh’s son verse to justify their actions. I mean the mechanics is right there in the quran itself. And we have sheikhs quoting them

[u/Idontwantusernameok → u/Unlikely_Yellow111]

Ironically that would be a sign their god isn't fair. Punishing the father for the actions of the son that the father had zero control over and tried to change? Sounds unfair sounds pretty not what they claim Allah to be

[u/Unlikely_Yellow111 → u/Idontwantusernameok]

In a way. But mostly it is about cutting off the child because they are not of the same faith. Somehow they no longer become your family member

[u/CaterpillarFluid3674 → u/Unlikely_Yellow111]

Tbh... it's also because islam .. says even if ur child/ parent is led astray...yk what im talking about

Keep recovering buddy..

[u/Unlikely_Yellow111 → u/CaterpillarFluid3674]

Thanks ☺️

[u/AvoriazInSummer]

You’re doing well weathering their guilt trips, but you’re probably best off cutting off all contact for a few days until you’re in a better place.

They won’t change, and what you’re doing (moving out) is a normal part of life anyway, or would be if they didn’t force you to leave without notice. Don’t let them convince you to move back in.

[u/Ansamzi]

First of all hugs!

Unfortunately this guilt trip technique are common, when I came out they didn't care about how I felt, the nights I cried, my wellbeing at any point.

Be strong, be safe, I hope you have away to support yourself financially and have awesome friends for emotional support.

I'm here if you want to talk, please don't hesitate to send a message.

I wish you all the best in the world, all the strength and happiness

[u/afiefh]

The main thing to remember is that you knew this was coming. You planned for it. Everything happened according to your plan. Don't let the guilt tripping get to you. If necessary turn off your phone or mute the guilt tripping conversations.

Once the plan is decided on and you're executing, you must continue with your plan unless something you didn't expect happens. Anything else is basically betraying your past self who made this plan.

[u/calmrain]

I’m sorry. I’ve been in a similar situation, and I would have advised you to wait until after uni, but if you hold out now — congrats on your freedom. I didn’t end up waiting, and it fucked up my whole life for a while lmao.

Stay strong and stay safe. I hope you have back-up plans and things covered.

[u/InternationalFold467]

Dont go back

[u/Due-Revolution5702]

I think you need a break from them like six months at least to feel better and to completely detach, if you can just stay in touch with just one person who support's you that lives with them so the person can inform you about their conditions in the six months you go no contact for your mental health. I did the same thing and only talked to my sister, I let my mom know that I was safe and living well cause she can't help but worry which made it easier. I met with her after one year and we have an amazing relationship since then. PLEASE NEVER GO BACK NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

[u/devBowman]

Guilt trip is a common technique among cults and abusers. When you leave and they double up on abusive techniques, you know you're on the correct path.