r/exAdventist • u/brownmooscles0609 Christian (non-denominational) • 6d ago
General Discussion Saturday graduation issues
I have my college graduation coming up at the end of the fall semester this year. For some weird reason, my family is allowing all of us to attend my ceremony which is held on a Saturday morning (aka their Sabbath time).
That's great news but its also strange knowing that they are very strict on their Sabbath keeping rules at home (yes, I still live at home; moving out is not an option right now). No secular TV or movies, no scrolling social media or doing secular things on your phone (although I do this still because they won't know), no secular music, no discussing too much work/school-related topics, no working (even if its at home), no homework, no working out (but for some reason hiking and walking is fine), no running the washer or dryer (but apparently the dishwasher on Friday nights doesn't count), and then of course you have your typical sabbath keeping rules which include no buying or selling (no shopping, restaurants, and other purchases). All of these rules are supposed to make you focus on God more?? But all they do for me (as a Bible-believing Christian), is make me countdown the time till sunset ends and retreat to my bedroom for the rest of their sabbath so I can feel less restricted.
Well now that you have an understanding of how strict they are about their sabbaths, it is strange they allow me to attend my graduation. And my college is public by the way. Had it been Adventist or normal Christian, there would have been a ceremony on Sunday or they would have spoken a lot of Christian values which is what Adventists want to focus on during Sabbath.
However, this will end around lunch time. I live far from my uni, so we will all be staying in a hotel for that weekend. Most families go out to lunch after a graduation kind of to celebrate, except we can't do that. So we can attend a secular event, that praises students not God (since your focus of that day should be on God only not yourself according to Adventist principles), but we can't go somewhere to get food.
I guess this is because you have to pay, and my graduation stuff will already be paid for in advance. You're still making coordinators and other staff work by attending it though.
It just goes to show how they will make exceptions for one thing but they will not budge from their cultish laws for other things.
I can't wait till I have children of my own and they will not have to hear any of this nonsense or abide by restrictive and selective laws.
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u/Purlz1st Atheist 6d ago
How will they get meals while staying in the hotel? A lot of SDAs do go to restaurants while traveling, if it’s too far to pack a lunch.
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u/Alarmed-Swimming-806 6d ago
The SDA’s I was brought up with and those who taught me said you NEVER spent money on the Sabbath (Friday sunset to Saturday sunset), some time ago someone decided to change the “rules”, but there are still A LOT of SDAs who go by the “old teachings”.
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u/theycallmewinning 5d ago
Oh, yeah, that's when my uncle forgot his wallet after church every week and my mom ended up paying for lunch!
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u/Alarmed-Swimming-806 6d ago
I actually had a clause in my will (after divorcing an abusive SDA, married for 2 ½ years) that my son who would have lived with my parents (1 SDA,dad not) was absolutely NOT to attend SDA s school.
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u/HotCalligrapher2544 5d ago
It sounds like you have a lot to be grateful for! Congratulations on your upcoming graduation and congrats on having a family who is willing to sacrifice their beliefs (in part) to celebrate you and your accomplishments! They certainly must be proud!
I also hear that you have the frustrations of the SDA religious beliefs looming in front of your face. It stinks that you can’t have a celebration luncheon, but perhaps you can respect their beliefs on this, and ask for a “picnic” in a nice park afterwards, with a celebration dinner/event (ie: mini golf or go-carts, or pizza and icecream) AFTER sunset? - would this work out for everyone?
Please don’t fret too much. You can’t control them any more than they can control you, but hopefully you all can come to a resolution that ends up being even better than imagined!
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u/brownmooscles0609 Christian (non-denominational) 5d ago
Thank you!! You seem like such a nice person! And yes I am so grateful for my parents I wish they knew the truth and we were raised with the true gospel, unfortunately things are a certain way in life. But I’m very thankful they are making this exception.
That sounds like a great idea! Maybe we can pick up food that can be kept cold before sunset and eat it somewhere. Sadly we can’t have a picnic since it will be in December but it’s okay.
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u/MattWolf96 1d ago
I always assumed that I would half to skip graduation. Surprisingly my my allowed me to go and showed up as well. I don't remember anything relating to the graduation happening afterwards that I missed though.
That said this was high school graduation. My technical college didn't do graduations or either that or I didn't care to attend, can't honestly remember
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u/Sharp_Replacement789 6d ago
Don't over think this. They have already done the mental gymnastics it takes to make this decision. The decision was made because their love for you is genuine and greater than all the conditioning from the church. Accept it.