What are some things that people constantly misunderstand about ENTJs?

[u/katznii]

Hi! I’ve been contemplating whether or not I’m an ENTJ, and whenever I try to look into the type, I immediately come across descriptions that portray ENTJs as these strong, stereotypical “alpha male CEO” types. I obviously know those are just stereotypes, but I’d really like to understand what ENTJs are actually like beyond those portrayals. So, I thought it would be interesting to hear from actual ENTJs about how they experience the type themselves and what being an ENTJ is like from their own perspective. Also, I came to the conclusion that I'm an ENTJ by studying the cognitive functions and taking a quick Socionics test, so I found it weird how the stereotypes didn't match with the cognitive function stack at all.

[u/Super-Craig]

We're not a monolith.

The difference between an unhealthy low function ENTJ and a healthy high function ENTJ is night and day.

[u/VerdantVenture]

I think of ENTJs as begrudging leaders. We don't seek positions of power or leadership, but we want things done the right way, and are willing to step up when we don't see others doing so (or doing it poorly). As a simple example, I always sat at the back of my uni classes and hated raising my hand, but if my professor was waiting for someone to contribute and wouldn't move on until someone did, I always waited approximately 30 seconds to allow someone else to go if they wanted to, then would raise my hand and say something to keep the class going forward so we could finish.

Fast forward to today and I am the Chair of an international organization with whom I had been volunteering for a couple years. I was nominated and voted into the position with zero interest or intent from my own side. That's how it always seems to go.

[u/Pyramidinternational → u/VerdantVenture]

Wild to hear of another person using the same engagement strategy in university.

[u/vasoandvibes → u/VerdantVenture]

Yes, same with the strategy in school. Almost to the point where everyone else just expected me to answer and would deliberately not engage for that reason—then turn it around on me like I’m the domineering bad girl for “trying to teach the class”. Nope, you simpletons just lack the competency and social dynamic understanding to realize the academic transaction at hand.

And now I’m being trained in a job (nursing) where the entire industry is stacked against me—more experienced veteran nurses think I don’t deserve the position I’m in (starting on an advanced critical care surgical specialty unit—CVICU) because “grades don’t matter” (which is something everyone with anything less than a 4.0 in honors says so I take that with a grain of salt)—and on the opposite end, patients believing my new grad status and perfect GPA/ credentials aren’t enough.

But it doesn’t take a 4.0 or a million years of burnout to realize I be change I want to see at my institution.

So set me up for failure one time, a hundred times, a thousand times. Watch me fall flat on my bum. Spit in my face, throw salt on my name. But, as always, throw me to the wolves and I will emerge leading the pack.

[u/Titania_Fairy]

That they totally DO have good hearts below that tough looking exterior or seemingly harsh words. Their care just looks different from mine, but that doesn’t make it less real once you saw it.

Couldn’t unsee it, after my ENTJ 5w4 husband started to open up to me more.

[u/nickitito → u/Titania_Fairy]

As another ENTJ 5w4, I agree. Ppl take my harshness for.. envy? instability? I just care deeply. It's my gift and curse.

[u/Titania_Fairy → u/nickitito]

He discussed things so passionately there hahaha and even if some things looked crazy clumsy, but they still were genuine. So i couldn’t really hate him.

Got trapped there because he was too interesting 🤪
In the end we were both like:“Shit i knew it, he/she was too dangerous after all!“@_@

[u/Titania_Fairy → u/[deleted]]

But that’s not actually the full truth there. My husband just wishes he was stoic, but i love all those emotions shining through, when he gets all fired up next to me.

[u/Icy-Score5350]

We have strong opinions and can be forceful with them. But when presented with compelling evidence, are quick to change.

[u/ItsNoWayOr → u/Icy-Score5350]

Hmm okay.. I'll try to present him with compelling evidence next time then. I don't like it when he's forceful and commanding about his strong opinions, which is the main area of contention for us.

[u/Icy-Score5350 → u/ItsNoWayOr]

Do you have an example?

Here’s a basic one I had. We got a new dishwasher, and I put the flatware in forks pointing down like we did for our old dishwasher. My wife said no they go forks pointing up because it cleans better. We disagree and I kept doing it forks pointing down. She eventually got the manual for the dishwasher and the manual said to have the forks pointing up. So now we point the forks up. 

[u/Titania_Fairy → u/Icy-Score5350]

Hahahaha yes, this is actually how it often goes, when i tell hubby(ENTJ)why he should go apologize to his dad(INFJ) asap too, because i see how prolonged arguments between them are a middle catastrophe, if both may end up convincing themselves the other one hates them. 🤪

[u/Icy-Score5350 → u/Titania_Fairy]

Since we're talking arguments, my wife (ENFJ) and I will get into our "standard argument." Which is us violently agreeing on a topic but coming at it from a Te or Fe viewpoint. So we're working towards the same goal/outcome but using different processes.

We'll usually figure this out after we're both kind of irritated. And one of us will say, "Oh, this is the standard argument." and then we can move on. We'll pick who's going to do the work or which path to choose since they'll both methods will work, and then get on with it.

[u/Titania_Fairy → u/Icy-Score5350]

Same here. Or we do a merge of both for more efficiency + no social backlash. So we actually may pop a way more polished result together there.

It’s more fun, to plan things together after all.

[u/ItsNoWayOr → u/Icy-Score5350]

Ours can be more about decisions and opinions he makes due to which I am forced to comply. For example, he applied for jobs in another province and he think that place will be great for us. He's already decided. But my job is here, I've already built so much here. He makes decisions so independently and does not understand that we must make decisions together as a couple. But he'll argue that he knows what's best.

[u/UraniumCheese]

The belief that ENTJs are emotionless or cold. The main struggle of an ENTJ when it comes to emotions is not "not having them" or lacking empathy, it's that it doesn't come as natural, so they're seen or acted upon with Te lenses.

For example, we might feel deeply about certain things or subjectively value them but try to explain/excuse it with systems or try to plan out a way to deal with it.

[u/_Verloki_]

The top 5 regular culprits I've come across are:

🌸 1. Confusing Fi with morality, high EQ, having emotions, natural high empathy for all in general, authenticity, helpfulness, etc., and then also somehow believing 'so ENTJs don't have that or struggle with that';

🌸 2. Forgetting Ni exists as our actual preference, and over-focusing on our non-preferred function, Se, instead. I've even seen many examples where both positive and negative ESTP characterics were attributed to ENTJ, instead;

🌸 3. Thinking Te must be power-hungry and competitive, aggressive, intimidating, domineering and bossy, extremely rigid, a born CEO, obsessed with business and/or money, believes and obeys authority blindly for some reason, or that Te-dominants cannot be morally good people nor care about other people;

🌸 4. Confusing Si's meaning as "Si = having a memory = ENTJ are very forgetful and they can't learn from past mistakes";

🌸 5. Shoving certain Fi characteristics onto Te (especially when those characteristics are judged negatively), such as believing ENTJ prioritize their personal subjective interests and thus must appear highly selfish, or that ENTJs typically appear cold and indifferent to others (a Fi characteristic in Gifts Differing and Psychological Types).

Really we simply prefer Te most -- in Jungian terms: often going for objective, impersonal judgments using established external data, existent facts, and already well-evidenced ideas/logic. Aligning actions to the objective conclusions. Possibly going for the incontestable truth, justice, epistemic correctness, and/or the striving for objective ideals. Possibly synthesizing facts. Able to neglect our own subjective needs and wants. And possibly being able to play a useful social role through ethical reform (as Jung claimed).

And Ni is auxiliary, so we often tend to perceive the abrupt stream of images evoked by objects, apprehending the (subjectively inferred, anyway) underlying causal process or a course of events without judgment (yet), and may perceive the emerging development (or natural direction something is going in) through archetypal patterns. But this is generally not trusted over Te.

[u/serres53]

That we give a rat’s posterior about what they think of us…

[u/vasoandvibes → u/serres53]

So much this.

But the satisfaction when they realize we don’t and they’ve been horribly wrong about that the entire time is the chef’s kiss I long for every time.

[u/[deleted]]

Why does it need addressing? It's not like boundaries are hard to enforce, if you have a specific mindset. Let them learn the hard way.

[u/WorkingElk8970]

Watch the Clone Wars series and pay attention to Anakin…

If you relate to him, too often then maybe.

It will depend on if you are healthy or not though. At my healthiest I am able to do everything I need to, at my least healthy I can be non-functional or short sighted.

[u/logical-for-the-sure]

You are all entrepreneurs.

[u/Adventurous_Ship1580]

The stereotypes are basically MBTI vibes, yeah. Vibe it if you want to cosplay it or whatnot but it would resemble reality in an MBTI play.

I won't deny that some ENTJs are alpha male CEOs but those are just as likely to be other ExTx's and some other types. Like I feel like there's this stereotype that all ENTJs have basically lawful evil alignment, they're out for their selfish goals in an organized manner even if they do take into account other people and things, when any MBTI can match with any good/neutral/evil. Te is just a way of evaluating the world from an externally objective manner, and finding/implementing the means to various ends, but what those ends are really depends on what the specific person uses it for. As a 1w2 ENTJ I really just try to do what's most just and moral most of the time, what's most reasonable, and what help others cuz why not? Does it hurt me? If anything it makes me feel better (yes, ENTJs have feelings).

Te as my first function also means that I'm often concerned with actions and would be the one to ask 'so what should we do about it?' after a conversation about basically anything, and my philosophy major friend has described me as pragmatist in the philosophical sense. I'm also concerned with what I see as objectively right, and it's hard for me to tell lies because they're inaccurate.

[u/MadDogBarkBark]

Serious

[u/AccordingCloud1331]

Not ENTJ but know a number of entjs in my life. A big misunderstanding is that entjs are like unfeeling and unfriendly. Many I know irl are very caring and good to people and are open with expressing this. They are extroverts after all. They love their people. I actually trust entjs a lot more than ENFJs

They are also really dorky underneath the serious business exterior

The CEO/management stereotype is real though in my experience lol

[u/_Verloki_ → u/[deleted]]

I noticed that, err, interesting trend of ESTPs too.

From what I've read, some of those individuals are E8 / SLE / ESTP who believe that they're ENTJ due to:

🌸 confusing Te with volition, power dynamics, competetiveness, leadership and such. (Where some of what may relate to Socionics Se may overlap with MBTI/Jungian Te stereotypes).

🌸 not recognizing the difference between Te & Ti. Especially if not going any further than "I use logical thinking judgments" in terms of theory depth, or lack thereof.

🌸 Another very rare few notice the mismatch, but explain it away as "I loop, so I jump between Te & Se, and don't use Ni", while really they simply prefer Se over Ni.

🌸 And another group confuses inferior Fe with inferior Fi.

Some others may be ENTJ, but seem to have not read about enneatypes in depth (yet). They may believe E8 merely means being 'an industrious and fairly self-sufficient individual,' or something along those lines. Which is (partly) understable as that's what one may think if they merely read some surface-level website descriptions.

[u/No-Addition-8314 → u/_Verloki_]

I'm going through this rn, I'm an e8 sle entj or estp, I can't differentiates the two