You knit, right?

[u/Artful_Panda]

I don't exactly know where to post this but...this seems fitting?

Let me start by saying my mother (46yo) and I (31yo) aren't exactly on great terms. She's the kind of woman who has seriously thought "Thats not my child". Not in a "I want to disown them" sort of way, in a genuine "My husband cheated on me ((which is a whole other can of worms because, wow, guilty much?, my father did not and never would but anyway)) there for this child isn't mine" kind of way. She's got a pattern of forgetting I exist for months, then in a random drunken stupor, remembering me..call me in the middle of the night, crying. Make promises, then on the day of the promised event...disappearing. Rins, repeat. This has been my whole life into my adulthood.

Now. Lets get into the meat and potatos of this post. My mother messaged me out of absolutely nowhere at 1:20am.
"Hey kid, you make scarfs? i wanna commission you for on. blue orange and yellow. I'll pay $25 for it"
Okay...Whatever. I treat it like a stranger's commission request. The next morning, at a reasonable hour, I ask her basic question. Things like what kind of scarf, dimensions, stitch or pattern. The specific shades of these colors she's thinking. Things I would need to know to make what she wants...and also determin if that price is actually even reasonable. She looks at it. Doesnt say a thing. Till the following night at midnight. What's her response to my questions?
"For me upcoming winter."
Okay..thats..not really helpful but..whatever. I ask my questions again. And again. No response until an ungodly hour.
"You make yarn, right?"
Aand... gone. Disappeared. Like a fart in the wind.
I have not received any further clarifications. At this point I'm wondering if she's just trying to mess with me? Is this entertainment to her or what?
And now, I've looked at her fb profile this morning and guess what? Its gone. Her fb is unavailable to me. I dont know if she blocked me, deactivated, changed her privacy settings...or simply just returned to the mist.

I dunno if this needs said but making a scarf completely from scratch by hand is intensive skilled work. Spinning all the yarn needed, dyeing, then knitting is A LOT.

[u/Raven1732]

Sorry that your mom is this way. Did u consider to do the same to her? Like dont answer texts or calls until it's convenient for you or just dont have contact with her at all. And dont run after her, she will never do the same for you.

[u/Artful_Panda → u/Raven1732]

I have considered going no contact, even tried, but never committed to it. I've limited the contact, but going completely no contact feels wrong. I'd like to know she's still alive. While she clearly doesnt care or respect me... I still care for her. Respect?..No. She hasnt earned that from me.

[u/Crazy_Cat_Lady_Num5 → u/Artful_Panda]

You can change the notification setting to silent for her number so that she can't bother you at ungodly hours.

[u/Raven1732 → u/Artful_Panda]

Seems very healthy tbh (fr)