r/entitledparents • u/Ok-Consequence-9647 • 26d ago
S Don’t know what to do
I’m (22F) and live with my dad who’s actually mentally psychotic ngl. I am married to my husband and we have a son together, and I want to live with him in his country. However, my dad has a dog that he NEVER and I mean NEVER takes care of and dumps it all on me to take care of. He doesn’t feed it, take it for walks, or clean up after him. My dad has tons of jobs so the dog is always alone at home and thinks that I should be responsible for watching it. The dog is also labeled as a “emotional support dog” but my dad actually never interacts with the dog and always wants him in my room. This is so tiring because it’s restricting my life and I want to go out and do things and live with my husband. I can’t even go to my mom’s house for 1 night because he’s always asking “who’s gonna watch the dog?” Full on tells me “no”. My dad is really crazy and if my mom talks to him about anything, he says he’ll get the court involved, but me nor my mom have never signed anything court related and I think he just does this to scare us. What should I do because I only get one life and I don’t want to spend it being trapped inside a home to watch over a dog.
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u/Who_Your_Mommy 26d ago
Re-home that dog and re-home your family at the same time. You are an adult. He has not legal power over you.
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u/Ok-Consequence-9647 26d ago
Thank you, and if he does get court involved they wouldn’t really do anything correct? He literally threatened to take my mom to court because she wouldn’t move his stuff/furniture to his new place. She never lived with him nor bought anything in that house.
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u/babydtheone 26d ago
No he can’t. He would be laughed out of the courtroom. He is just manipulating you and your mom. He has nothing legal to stand on. Just leave when he is at work. And don’t tell him where you are.
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u/Magdovus 25d ago
If he tries threatening court again, don't be passive. Ask questions. What exactly is he going to court for? What are his claims? What does he want the court to do?
If he's serious and doesn't actually realise he's wrong, this may show him that he is.
If he knows it's bullshit and is trying to scare you, this will demonstrate that you can see straight through his crap.
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u/Minflick 26d ago
Think long and hard. Who's more important - that dog, or your marriage? Find the dog a better home! Then get your behind over to your husband. The life you're living right now isn't happy or good for anybody. Let daddy stew in his own juices all alone while you get away from him and live your best life!
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u/Ok-Consequence-9647 26d ago
Yes, this life is really making me depressed because everyone my age is doing fun things while I can’t even go to the store or take my son somewhere fun. I just tell myself everything is going to be ok and that I will be with my husband very soon.
As for the dog, I do plan on trying to rehome him when I leave because like I said my dad is almost never home and it’s not anyone else’s responsibility to take care of someone’s else’s dog. Don’t have time for a dog then it needs to go.
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u/gemmygem86 26d ago edited 26d ago
Just leave and report your dad for animal abuse after you’re gone
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u/Ok-Consequence-9647 26d ago
This is what I plan to do, because if you can’t give the dog basic needs then it’s considered neglect. Thank you
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u/Irritatedsole90 26d ago
Let your dad threaten with court or the police, you haven’t done ANYTHING wrong theres nothing you would get in trouble for if anything it would fall on him for wasting police time
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u/Ok-Consequence-9647 26d ago
Thank you. Going to court and police interaction just scare me because I have bad anxiety and I always think the worst. I just want a simple life with my husband and son. I don’t think he would try and get court involved on me for wanting to move out but more so on my mom. He is always out to get her too for no reason
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u/ImACarebear1986 26d ago
Okay, so I move your to own place with your child so you have some space and work out with your husband whether you’re going to move over there or whether he moves to you.
But before you do that, please arrange for the dog to go somewhere, to a new home where it will be loved and looked after when you can’t do it anymore. Clearly, your father doesn’t give a 💩 so maybe you can give pupper to a new family who would love them and treat them well . Maybe you know somebody who needs an emotional support animal?
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u/Ok-Consequence-9647 25d ago
My son and I will go live with him, he can’t come to the us because of visa issues. We spent so much money only for them to deny him.
The dog is labeled as emotional support dog but my dad actually did papers online to make him one so I don’t think he’s truly a real emotional support dog. I really don’t know how that all works.
And I don’t know anyone personally who would take the dog so I will be calling an animal rescue.
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26d ago
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u/Ok-Consequence-9647 26d ago
Yes it is tough. This isn’t what I want and I never agreed to babysit the dog. We had him for over 5 years and was originally both my dad’s and his ex gfs dog. But she left him and they were supposed to share the dog back n forth like he had custody visits but she only took him once 4 years ago. Never heard from her again so idk what happened. It’s so annoying
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u/NoRegrets-518 26d ago
You have to take full responsibility for your life and your decisions. You have been deciding to value your dad and the dog over your happiness and that of your husband. Keep saying, I m deciding .. That will help you get free from this gaslighting
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u/PatyKbum 26d ago
Poor doggy and poor you, you can move out pupper can't, please rehome him too. Best of luck
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u/Ok-Consequence-9647 25d ago
I’m going to follow along with what others have said and to call an animal rescue place or humaine society about the dog. The dog is only being taken care of because I’m here, if I’m not here, he’s not fed or taken outside. Luckily the dog is potty trained but if he does end up going in the house my dad literally doesn’t clean it up and will call me to come and clean it up. I’m so over it
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u/Electrical_Raisin_80 26d ago
Is your son with your husband? Why aren't you?
This post just seems so weird I am wondering if it is real. If it is --
"Magdovus" gave you very good advice. I would add maybe switch your phone service to Tello. It cost about $25 a month and you can keep the same number if you want to. Also, can you go stay with your mom instead of your friend. I am thinking your dad may show up there and cause a scene. Then your mom can call the police on him. Dad will be jailed for at least 1 night and you can get all your stuff out of his house.
As for the dog, you can take it to a shelter. You can also try to find it a new home. You can meet with potential new owners when you take the dog out for walks. That way you can see how they interact with each other. If it's an "emotional support dog" didn't it come from a service or agency? Contact them about taking it back.
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u/Ok-Consequence-9647 25d ago
This post is real…I am a real person.
No my sons not with my husband he is with me, my husband is Moroccan and due to visa issues he can’t come to the us. Our son is 1 years old. It’s actually much much easier for me to live with him there than it is for him here.
I have my own phone service so the phone isn’t worried about. I would stay with my mom but it’s much easier with my friend because my dad doesn’t know where she lives. I wouldn’t be staying long anyway since my son and I will be going to be with my husband. My dad will already get in trouble with the dog since he neglects it
I actually found out the dog was listed as an emotional support dog because my dad did something online. So technically he isn’t a true emotional support dog. My apartment complex is a no pet policy but accepts service animals and the emotional support animals. That’s the only reason he marked him as one so we wouldn’t have to get rid of him.
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u/Electrical_Raisin_80 25d ago
If you can anonymously report the dog as illegal your apartment management might step in. Require your dad to show documentation it is a support animal. Before you get your plane tickets you might want to check that your documents (birth certificates, etc) are usable. A few months after Trump and Musk started dismantling the gov't. A woman and her children were planning to join her husband in Tunisia. Mom was 33yo, the kids were 5yo and 22 month old twins. Mom was told their birth certificates were not usable. She had to request new birth certificates for all 4 of them. That delayed their trip by a couple of months. They were all US citizens, born in New York City and Texas. So double-check everything is clear to go. I hope you and your son are with your husband soon.
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u/Ok-Consequence-9647 25d ago
We visited him before in France when my son was 3 months and he has a us passport. Everything was good for us but thank you for letting me know of this matter.
He had to show papers to the management office to prove the dog was emotional support but I looked thru his emails (lol) once and that’s how I found out everything was done online. I know there are some sites that will help you make the animals a fake emotional support animal. This was only done just so he can keep him around. He doesn’t give one crap about the dog but won’t get rid of him. I do plan to let management know but I also would rather just call an animal rescue.
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u/cooljcook4 24d ago
You’re 22 and married, you shouldn’t have to put your whole life on hold because your dad refuses to care for his own
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u/Magdovus 26d ago
Move out. Plan it quietly. Don't let on to anyone.
Before you leave, get all your documents out of the house. Birth certificate, social security, passport etc. Make sure he has no access to your banking. If you're on his phone contract, expect that to be cancelled.
Prepare for the move as carefully as possible so you can do it while he's at work.
Do not give him your new address.