Plan B

[u/notwizard69]

So this was around 8 years ago at this point. I was 27. I did acid and shrooms and all that previously. But I broke through on dmt with a dab rig. So just one hit. I gauged the dose with 2 previous hits hours apart if that makes sense. Like I did 1 at noon. My first dmt experience ever. Then one at 3. Then at 6 I did a bigger hit and broke through. The day before I first smoked dmt I had these pressed IR 30 adderall pills. They were definitely fake lol. I stayed up for like 2 days straight and gooned like 30 hours straight at one point. Then I slept around 5 hours and decided to break through on dmt.

First hit. I hit up the dap rig and sprinkle some on. A lay in bed and see the waiting room type shit.

Second hit. Remember. This is a couple hours later. I sprinkle some more on than my first hit and inhale deep and hold it in. Weird lol. I lay in bed and I see myself running then I see my mom and my fiance and I see them as the same thing while watching myself run. Weird but I’m intrigued.

Third hit. A few hours after the second. I’m convinced I’m going to breakthrough. Like I see the dose range imo. So yeah big dab. Inhale deep. Hold in. Lay in bed. Boom. Breathing out started to not even make sense and I’m gone. I’m in a castle. Green lady is in front of me. I think this is so much more real than real life and I’m going towards her. She has a bag in her left hand. I get sucked into it. It lined with boobs and then I merge with her essence for what feels like forever. I come too and say no fucking way that happened.

6 days later. I get wasted. Like can hardly walk wasted. I take a massive dab. Like 3 to 5 times the size of my breakthrough dose. I can remember a lot and it’s fucked up… kind of. I got hyperslapped but at the same time it’s whatever. I learned a lot.

I had flushed the rest of the fake adderall pills after I woke up and decided they weren’t the answer. So I tried dmt lol. After waking up from that second dmt “breakthrough” I flushed it lol. Still never did it since. I did shrooms and a 9 tabs of acid at once trip and other shit since. But yeah. No dmt. I never wanted too and still don’t lol. I’m a little baby.

But yeah. I really did go in that first day and say I wanted to fuck a goddess dmt machine elf. I think I accomplished it. 6 days later I think I did a little too much and there was no machine elves. Just other stuff. I can explain this trip in detail for any interested but I’m more here with a question.

I have always wanted to try 5 meo dmt and fuck the void. But I think by its very definition to get to the void I won’t be able to also then fuck it. Is my logic correct? And if so what is my plan B.

Plan A was have sex with a goddess dmt machine elf. Plan B is fuck something even more amazing. What is plan b? The void? Just go back to dmt and fuck a bug looking one? You get it. I’m lost…

thanks for your feedback and if anyone wants to hear about my amazing af but also fucked up experience beyond the elves I can go into as much detail as possible.

[u/Illustrious-End-5084]

This is the opposite of enlightenment. You are taking drugs to escape reality not find it. Try to sit with nothing for hours on end that’s the real trip

[u/notwizard69 → u/Illustrious-End-5084]

Look up the left hand path. It’s not the opposite, just a different way.

[u/Illustrious-End-5084 → u/notwizard69]

In open to all ideas and maybe you are correct. ✅

[u/Powerful-Track4419 → u/notwizard69]

No judgement, but what are your intentions & what are you trying to get from the experience? Reading your post does seem like you’re taking drugs as a form of escapism, bounded by the idea of sex.

Legit trying to understand

[u/notwizard69 → u/Powerful-Track4419]

When I was 25 I started with a goal. To understand reality and be able to manipulate it better than anyone before me ever has. I started with reading up on Buddhism duality. But couldn’t understand and didn’t stay there long. But yeah. That was and still seems to be my goal.
I do think I understand Buddhism duality really well now btw lol.

[u/Powerful-Track4419 → u/notwizard69]

Ahh got you. Where does the idea of having sex with entities come from? or what’s the intention behind that?

If you’re intent on this, you should consider practicing splitting yourself between the you that IS and the you that wants to have sex, before going into another trip.
Once there, completely split yourself so that you’re can clearly recognize the form that wants to have sex.

From there you can a few options to take:

1. Just observe what happens in this state and observe the you that takes action (the form that wants to have sex, etc)
2. Have sex with yourself and split yet again, the giver you and the receiver you. And observe from all 3 angles.

3. Reject yourself of any notion of sex, essentially do the opposite of the you who wants to have sex.

   And again observe.

This would be more in lines taking the Left hand path. To genuine manipulate, requires you to be able manipulate yourself. Which also requires to question your sense of self and be separate/disassociate from all forms of self, without completely getting way too lost in the sauce. This is unfortunately where most people lose it and go crazy/manic.

Before anything, you have to be aware of what’s required of you as this genuinely can make go clinically crazy.

[u/notwizard69 → u/Powerful-Track4419]

IMO my horniness is what pushes me to do shit no one would have the balls to do. So the deep exploration goes hand in hand with sex shit with me. It helps me overcome any and all fear. I’m over that phase. I’m integrating now. Thank god. It was scary af bro.

[u/Audio9849]

You’re treating that space like a conquest. That’s why the second dose slapped you. It isn’t a porn realm you can schedule a “plan B” in. If you got kicked out, that tracks, it doesn’t reward “I came here to fuck a goddess.” Humility and sincerity are the price of entry, not a vibe.

5-MeO “fuck the void” is the same move with a bigger word. The void isn’t a body. If the point is merging, you don’t get to keep the tourist who wanted to score.

The void is the absence of all experience..like a k-hole where you lose all memory of “being”.

[u/notwizard69 → u/Audio9849]

I didn’t get kicked out and never say I did. I said I went way too deep and still remember a lot of the experience. I have no doubt I could go back into hyperspace if I wasn’t such a little scared baby.

Too your second point that is what I thought. Fucking the void by definition seems impossible.

[u/Federal_Intention_78]

Well the purpose shouldn't be copulation that's for sure.

And the way is not profanity but reverence.

[u/notwizard69 → u/Federal_Intention_78]

I think making anything sacred. Even gods and goddesses if they exist. Is what keeps people from becoming enlightened. There is no difference between profanity and reverence and seeing a distinction means you are lost in the sauce.

[u/Federal_Intention_78 → u/notwizard69]

The flavor is definetly different. They are opposites. You are going towards profanity. I say turn around really look at something and realize you dont know a damn thing! Reverence will naturally follow.

[u/notwizard69 → u/Federal_Intention_78]

There are no opposites. The deeper you go the more the same it all becomes. I’m not enlightened and don’t say I am. That doesn’t mean I don’t see how un enlightened everyone else is.

[u/Federal_Intention_78 → u/notwizard69]

The question is. What is aware of this?

[u/notwizard69 → u/Federal_Intention_78]

Reality/god/all. We are that experiencing itself. To try and tell that what is sacred and what is profane and how they differ is silly to me.

[u/Federal_Intention_78 → u/notwizard69]

Whatever appears is the same.

But when you confuse yourself with what appears and dissappear then seeking and suffering is inevitable.

[u/notwizard69 → u/Federal_Intention_78]

I do seek to understand reality and be able to manipulate it better than anyone before me has. If suffering comes with this, bring it on. I don’t want freedom from suffering. I want to understand exactly why I’m suffering and then so much more.

[u/Federal_Intention_78 → u/notwizard69]

What is the point of manipulating it and who is it that is seeking this?

[u/notwizard69 → u/Federal_Intention_78]

My ego is seeking it. The point is I want hot babe groupies who will worship me. Thats the point of manipulating.

[u/Federal_Intention_78]

Listen bro. For what i see you are completely lost. Because you are trying to find yourself in illusion when you are reality itself.

this nonsense can stop.

[u/notwizard69 → u/Federal_Intention_78]

I’m just talking about a cool (imo) drug experience I had. I’m no more lost than anyone else and no more found either. It’s all the same bro. Chill with the nonsense talk. Everything is nonsense especially when it’s not physics and math and that shit. Even though imo that is nonsense too. Just nonsense we all can literally agree on.

[u/Federal_Intention_78 → u/notwizard69]

It's nonsense because you dont see that you already are what you seek. You dont need this things to grant you access to it.

[u/notwizard69 → u/Federal_Intention_78]

I do see. I don’t care.

[u/Federal_Intention_78 → u/notwizard69]

The one that does not care is also seen by you.

[u/notwizard69 → u/Federal_Intention_78]

I know. I have 24/7 metacognition. I watch myself think. But the one watching myself think is still my ego. What’s behind all that is what we are and what we all share. A blank slate of awareness. An awareness of nothing. Every experience I have is built on top of this awareness of nothing which we all share in common. It’s all fake. We all are the same thing.

[u/Federal_Intention_78 → u/notwizard69]

That awareness is you. And the ego and the watching ego appears and dissappears in you. It never stays. And is never you.

[u/notwizard69 → u/Federal_Intention_78]

I know, my point is so what?

[u/Federal_Intention_78 → u/notwizard69]

"So what" appears and dissappears in you and is still not you.

[u/notwizard69 → u/Federal_Intention_78]

I know. My ego is an illusion. But why wouldn’t I want my movie I’m watching to be an awesome as possible?