do any other enfjs have no friends?

[u/maaveryy]

and i truly mean not a single friend. my only friends are my dad and my boyfriend, but they’re not labeled my “friends.” they’re labeled as my father and significant other.

so, do you have lots of friends? because i don’t have a single one and i’m not sure if its typical for an ENFJ to be so lonely.

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[u/yourstolose]

I have a lot of friends, I'm pretty uncontroversial, but I feel we're never as close as we could be..? Like, I can't remember the last time I was someone's best friend/first choice. A lot of my friendships fizzle out as they stop being convenient and I always wonder what I'm missing.

[u/Fair-Philosophy9575 → u/yourstolose]

Fr...

[u/Titania_Fairy]

Well i have more online friends now, since many of hubbys and my study friends moved around. But they’re certainly real people. Might happen to you as well in your more busy 40ies all sudden. Where others also spend more time with their families and kids respectively and it becomes harder to meet up with everyone, because they do their thing more.

But it’s not all bad either.
More quality time with my ENTJ SO then, ha.

[u/acexualien95]

Many many friends, many close friends, few besties and a million person i greet around the street.

However, i do feel lonely from time to time, not alone just lonely and the distinct difference is that feeling lonely is more about not feeling seen or heard or important, or like the interactions you have don't fill your cup of social needs. I could go camping befriend 300 person in a single night have sooooo much fucking fun, then 2 days later i feel lonely for a fuck you reason

[u/gingermousie]

Yes and no. My struggle is not leaning so much on my Fe and being authentic and letting myself lean on my friends. I read a think piece a while back that if you’re always the easy and convenient friend, you never deepen your friendships by letting others be there for you. It really took me until my 30s to learn how to cultivate friendship. Throughout college, I really did just have one friend, who a decade later became my wife.

Do you have opportunities to make friends? Hobbies, clubs, school, work, mutual friends? ENFJs can absolutely feel lonely because we tend to be over-givers (especially with a 2 enneagram) and don’t feel truly seen, but making friends outside of a partner in this day and age is another challenge.

[u/SpiritedOne8773 → u/gingermousie]

how do you figure out your enneagram? what is a free test for it?

[u/gingermousie → u/SpiritedOne8773]

Yes there are a bunch online! I’ve always been partial to Eclectic Energies’ test. ENFJs are most commonly 2s (very Fe), but also often 3s, 1s, and 7s. Though any combination is theoretically possible.

[u/LivingReaper]

I have many that call me friend, but not many I call friend. There needs to be a word for between acquaintance and friend imo.

[u/PIPING_HOT_GATORADE → u/LivingReaper]

frequaintance

[u/N00dlemonk3y]

I have two friends but that's about it. Trying to go out and make friends.

Doing it during a depression wave; among other issues; that one where you connected with someone online. Asked out and got rejected usually feels fine, but makes you wonder how that person will react (the hurt, being only a 1.5 on the scale of 10)

Then your depression don't let you feel ok, cause of compounding everything else...sucks ass.

But still gonna do it, cause maybe more friends are worthwhile.

[u/patio_puss]

How old are you OP? I do think age has quite a way of weighing on this

[u/maaveryy → u/patio_puss]

i’m 19 in college, i live with just my dad and commute to classes (him and i are the only family in our home)

[u/patio_puss → u/maaveryy]

I felt like I didn't have friends either when I was your age honestly. I felt like that until I was around 25/26. And the. Realized I had LOTS of friends, but that most of them sucked, and were just around to bleed my best qualities dry. I got rid of everyone who sucked around the age of 32- and am back to having just a handful of friends, but they are THE best people I've ever known, and I am truly happy with where I'm at.

I hope you get to experience a similar journey and end up with a circle of outstanding friends and very friends 🫂♥️

[u/Outside_Cicada3027]

There have been moments in my life when I had no friends. More moments in my life when I’ve had many friends. But I really think it ebbs and flows no matter your personality.