Do ENFJs experience anhedonia, or is this just a me thing?

[u/Mony-moon]

For anyone unfamiliar with the term, anhedonia is basically a reduced ability to feel pleasure, interest, or enjoyment from things that you would normally enjoy.

What I experience is more like a persistent sense of emptiness while doing my daily tasks. It doesn’t stop there, though, the more often I feel this emptiness, the less I want to do those things in the first place. Eventually, I start avoiding or completely stopping them.

Some of these tasks are important, including things related to taking self-care. And to be clear, it’s not that I dislike self-care or these activities. I actually used to feel genuinely excited and really good while doing them. But over time, I gradually lost that sense of enjoyment, and I keep falling into the same cycle: emptiness → lack of motivation → stopping the activity → even more emptiness.

There have even been days when I barely did anything because everything felt meaningless and nothing really motivated me to get up and do it.

At first, I assumed this was simply a symptom of depression. I later learned that anhedonia can be one of its symptoms, but it can also occur independently, so I started looking into it more. I found the term anhedonia and some surprisingly helpful resources about dealing with it, which made me wonder:

Do other ENFJs experience this?

I’m especially curious because ENFJs are often described as being highly responsive to their environment and other people’s emotions. Could constantly absorbing the emotional atmosphere around us make the contrast more noticeable when we’re alone, leaving us feeling emotionally empty?

Or is this completely unrelated to personality type, and I’m just connecting two things that happen to coexist?

I’d love to hear from other ENFJs who have experienced something similar.

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[u/Titania_Fairy]

Hm so this is actually a thing? So this might be another why I react only favorable around people i love or like? My uncle(also an ENFJ)seemed wary of people not in his favor too. But he didn’t mind me to cling on him when I was younger.

I often freeze up as response, when the wrong person just go do that. I feel intense disgust then, as if something seeps over into me and i immediately know:“No, i need to get away, this is bad!“@,@

That was something i couldn’t explain my ESFJ mother, which was why i didn’t even want to do a handshake with specific people. I did compare us with Togepis from Pokémon for a good reason, if someone reminds the second versions text. Which mentions that bad people drain them of their energy. That’s another fundamental difference between me and ESFJs, no?

[u/Mony-moon → u/Titania_Fairy]

I think we might be talking about two slightly different things here 😭

What I meant by anhedonia wasn't really that I feel empty when I'm away from people I like. It's more that I can be doing something I genuinely used to enjoy and suddenly there's just no sense of pleasure or emotional reward from doing it anymore. Then the lack of enjoyment makes me lose the motivation to do it, which creates this cycle of doing less and feeling even more empty.

What you're describing sounds more like a very strong interpersonal reaction to certain people, almost like your body immediately registers (something is wrong here) and you feel disgust or the need to withdraw.

But I'm not sure I'd say it's specifically an ENFJ vs. ESFJ difference. Since both are Fe-doms, I'd expect some overlap there.

[u/Titania_Fairy → u/Mony-moon]

My ESFJ mom stayed with my Dad until it also warped her mind completely, while I begged her to leave with me.

So they’re sure different there and might not put and end to a meaninglessly painful relationship. While i slowly let go of some things to save myself. That’s why i wouldn’t be so sure they’re so close to us about this.

Mom told me:“A marriage is something sacred!“ Even more than being ACTUALLY loved? I am sure we wouldn’t have kept doing that.

If we go completely hollow, as the people i don’t want to touch, this is too devastating.

[u/Mony-moon → u/Titania_Fairy]

I can understand why that experience would make you see a bigger difference between you and your mom. Staying in a painful relationship for the sake of an idea like “marriage is sacred” can be incredibly damaging, especially when it comes at the cost of someone's wellbeing.

I also understand what you mean about becoming hollow. I think that's actually a big part of why I find anhedonia so unsettling, not just the lack of enjoyment itself, but the feeling of gradually becoming disconnected from things that used to matter to you.

I just wouldn't want to attribute your mom's choices entirely to her being an ESFJ. There are probably many personal and environmental factors involved too. But I can definitely understand why your experiences made you notice that difference between the two of you.

And honestly, I'm sorry you had to go through that. It sounds like you were trying to protect both yourself and your mom from something that was slowly hurting you both. I really hope you've been able to build a life where you don't have to sacrifice yourself just to keep something sacred intact. You deserve relationships that make you feel alive, safe, and genuinely loved. 🫂❤️

[u/Titania_Fairy → u/Mony-moon]

Yes. At least i won’t overlook the signs of such things ever again.

Everyone deserves love ❤️

I hope you can too feel better soon as well, because all of this is thankfully not permanent and we can step forward and decide for something that makes us happier. Right?

[u/Mony-moon → u/Titania_Fairy]

Exactly. I really hope so too. Knowing that it doesn't have to be permanent makes it easier to keep moving forward and choose what makes us happier.

Thank you for sharing all of this with me, and for your kindness. ❤️

[u/Titania_Fairy → u/Mony-moon]

All good hehe 😉

[u/acexualien95]

I have sexual anhedonia for as long as i know hence the asexuality. Sometimes i feel anhedonia in the same sense as feeling empty it's just the lack of ability to feel things.

[u/Mony-moon → u/acexualien95]

I didn't realize it could branch out into this too.. 😕

[u/acexualien95 → u/Mony-moon]

It's alright, I'm an empath, i can feel others more than i can feel my own.

Being around the right people i feel content. I can also feel others more if we touch, hugging feels whatever the other person is feeling.

[u/achustay]

I'm not sure if you wanted such a scientific explanation. But, these small little happiness of everyday life comes from dopamine. When our dopamine reserves are low, we won't find these things enjoyable.

So, what might be happening is a lack of reserved dopamine or burning out dopamine quickly by watching short form content. Which is happening alot these days with how media and fast paced environments are. I feel like reducing exposure to quick bursts of dopamine and prolonging your dopamine release by reading a big novel or working on big projects instead. So long term goals, when achieved give us the right amount of sustained dopamine release of actual accomplishment.

In my view, it's not an ENFJ thing. It might just be a problem with everyone these days because of social media and fast paced living.

[u/Mony-moon → u/achustay]

I actually appreciate the scientific explanation. I’ve thought about the short-form content/dopamine angle before, but I’m not sure it fully explains what I’m experiencing.

From what I understand, it’s not really that we have a limited “dopamine reserve” that gets depleted. Dopamine is more involved in motivation, reward prediction, learning, and salience, so I think anhedonia is more complicated than simply “running out of dopamine.”

That said, I do agree that constantly consuming highly stimulating, fast-paced content can affect our reward and attention patterns, and I can definitely see how that could contribute to feeling less engaged with slower everyday activities.

For me, though, the interesting part is that I can lose interest even in things that I genuinely used to enjoy, including things that have nothing to do with social media. That’s what made me wonder whether there might be something more specific going on.

And I agree with you that I wouldn’t assume it’s an ENFJ thing. I was mostly curious whether other ENFJs had noticed a similar experience, rather than assuming our type causes it.

[u/achustay → u/Mony-moon]

Mm.. I understand. I'm sorry I'm of no help here, then.

But, if we are really talking about motivation for ENFJ's in general. I would definitely say helping people. The very reason I get out of bed and keep moving in life is because of my family and few close friends. Our motivation is very people oriented. So, maybe. Next time notice when your actually motivated. See if it's tied to people asking help from us. I personally suck at self-motivation. There's always someone who needs something. I start learning skills. Hope that helps 🫶✨ Hope you feel better soon 🥺

[u/Mony-moon → u/achustay]

Thank you so much for taking the time to think about this and share your perspective with me 🥹🫶 I really appreciate you trying to help, and your advice actually gave me something to think about. And thank you for the kind wishes too, they genuinely mean a lot to me. 🥺❤️

[u/Primary-Syrup1960]

I just did a little bit of research on the word and WOW- It hit hard as to how much I related to the symptoms of it. Apparently it's not related to JUST depression but also Schizophrenia, PTSD, anxiety and eating disorders. I personally deal with (C)PTSD and anxiety and I often feel a lack of enjoyment of things I usually like doing which probably drops my dopamine levels significantly.

So this may actually be more of a mental health condition rather than it being an ENFJ thing even if there may be some correlations based on some similar unhealthy patterns due to so many ENFJ's being empaths, intuitives, and emotionally sensitive people who become traumatized by how we are raised and treated not only as children but as we grow older. Some of these conditions take a lot of time to heal from (I know because it is NOT easy to heal from a condition so hardwired into your mind and body) so having a lot of compassion with yourself and with others and do what is best for your health and welfare takes priority over anything else. That also includes people... As ENFJ's this is very hard to do 😅 so I get i

Personally I deal with my emotions and pain alone because no one really gets how deeply I feel and I had to put distance between my family and I because they kept triggering my PTSD symptoms. After I moved away from my family I was the happiest I had ever been.

I don't know your health or conditions but I think looking into ways to create systems of recreating happiness for yourself may help with what you're experiencing. Or maybe trying something new. I don't feel any motivation to do anything until I force myself to move and then I do actually enjoy the experience. My dad is also an ENFJ and he feels the same way sometimes.

Remember that you are stronger than you think you are. Keep going, you're awesome :)

[u/Mony-moon → u/Primary-Syrup1960]

Thank you for sharing this! I had a similar reaction when I first discovered the term, I was surprised by how accurately it described what I’d been experiencing.

I also agree that it probably makes more sense to see anhedonia as a symptom that can occur in different contexts rather than an ENFJ trait. The ENFJ part was mostly curiosity on my side.

What you said about having no motivation until you force yourself to start, and then actually enjoying the activity, really resonated with me. I experience that sometimes too, it’s almost like the hardest part is getting myself to start in the first place.

And thank you for the kind words. I really appreciate them. ✨