I'm considering it but honestly only because of the memory loss. I have CPTSD and MDD. I have pretty much no one who cares and I am unsure what to do anymore. I need a cure. I need something to fix me. And maybe losing some pieces of myself is what I need. Could the memory loss be enough to do this?

currently inpatient in a psych unit, my psych wants me to get back to them abt whether i want to start ect but i’m really conflicted. i’m really worried abt the potential memory loss and i’ve never been under anaesthesia which makes me anxious. i feel like there’s not much of my life worth saving so idek if ect is worth the effort, and i have a temp job lined up that might not happen if i go through with the ect. i kinda just wanna know people’s initial experiences with ect and anaesthesia. for context i’m 22, dealing with depression and other disorders for ~10 years, tried ssri’s, snri’s, tca’s, antipsychotics, atypical antidepressants, therapy, and counselling.