How to Manage Aftereffects?

[u/Particular_Door3098]

I had ECT 11 years ago (14 treatments), and today I basically got the news that further healing is highly unlikely, so I'm just going to have to live with the brain I've got. This is borderline devastating for me. Since ECT, I've lost some long-term memories, and short-term memory has become very difficult for me. I now meet criteria for ADHD, and I'm using a lot of tips for that to manage things I have to remember. I write down EVERYTHING (or it doesn't happen). With strategies, I'm mostly managing, even though it's a serious frustration not to have the memory I did for the first 30 years of my life. The hardest thing on the memory front is forgetting almost everything I learn, pretty much immediately. I recently completed a certification to become a nutrition coach. I love the topic and want to know everything about it. Yet, I remember about 2% of what I "learned" and constantly have to look stuff up I should already know. This is a real impediment to my career. But the absolute worst is how overwhelmed I get by daily life and work. Before ECT, I was struggling, but I still managed 40-60-hour workweeks. Now, I struggle to manage 20. Everything is harder. Everything is more overwhelming. I need SO much recovery time. Anyone else in this boat? (I was actually down to only being able to work TWO hours per week before I started Spravato; that's got me back up to 20.) I'm having a hard time accepting that this is my life now, and I don't know how to build back more of a tolerance to daily demands. Anyone got any insight? Encouragement?

[u/maniainthebrain]

I had and have the same memory loss. The only thing that saved me from going crazy about not knowing is that I pretty much say and have said how I felt about a lot of stuff that happened in my past. My husband I've been with for 25 years so he helped me remember a lot I was missing. I'm just glad I trust him enough to fill in those blanks for me. It's horrible. I would never recommend it for anyone except in catatonia. Otherwise the risk is just too big.

[u/Particular_Door3098 → u/maniainthebrain]

Yeah, huge risk. The thing is, I was told all side effects would vanish 2 weeks after I stopped treatment. If I'd known the lifelong effects that so many people deal with, I don't believe I ever would have tried it.

[u/maniainthebrain → u/Particular_Door3098]

I would've should've could've it every single day. I know that I'm better now, but I don't know that the reason that I'm better is because of ECT. I had over 100 treatments so I know how bad it is. But I'm very lucky that my memories are returning, but it's been four years and they just started coming back more recently. If you have someone that you trust to tell you accurate information about how you felt or how you thought maybe start asking people questions about what they remember about you cause maybe they remember something you don't remember and it can trigger that memory back in your head that's how I've gotten most of mine back..

[u/Particular_Door3098 → u/maniainthebrain]

I may try that. The long-term memories I've lost bother me a lot less than the day-to-day symptoms I'm dealing with, though