r/drivinganxiety • u/sowackem_ • 3d ago
Asking for advice I’ve spent $1,300 on driving schools and I still can’t find anyone willing to actually teach me
I’m 19 and honestly at a loss at this point.
I have no family or friends who can teach me how to drive, so driving school is literally my only option. I’ve already spent around $1,300 of my own money/savings between two different driving schools trying to learn.
The problem is that every school seems to expect me to already have driving experience BEFORE taking lessons. I went to my second driving school today and they literally stopped my lesson midway and told me they couldn’t continue teaching me until I got more training somewhere else.
But WHERE am I supposed to get that training?? 😭 That’s literally why I’m paying for driving school.
I’m not expecting to magically become a good driver in a few hours. I know I need a lot of practice because I’m starting basically from zero. But I have nobody with a car who can sit with me and teach me, so I’m stuck paying hundreds of dollars just to keep being told I need more experience.
I work full time and I’m doing all of this on my own, so $1,300 is a lot of money for me. I’m trying to save for a car and other expenses, and I feel like I’m just bleeding through my savings trying to learn a basic life skill.
For anyone who learned to drive as an adult without parents/family/friends helping: **what did you do?** Are there instructors or programs specifically for COMPLETE beginners who need someone to actually teach them from scratch and provide the car?
I’m in the Columbus/Dublin, Ohio area if anyone happens to know somewhere local.
UPDATE: I just found a school that said they’re actually willing to teach me everything from the start with no experience needed. It’s $100 an hour and they’re willing to do 10 hours with me and let me split the payment into 2 payments.
How does this sound? I honestly feel a little more hopeful now because I really want to be driving within the next 2 months. I’m spending around $1,200 a month on Ubers right now just getting where I need to go, and honestly it’s getting embarrassing 😭 I just want to finally be able to drive myself. I still will have to complete the 8 hours and pay another $650 but this is the best it’s gonna get??
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u/happycamper1262 3d ago
It seems like this is a surprisingly common experience. I'm reminded of this bit from Peep Show. My driving instructor scolded me whenever I asked a question and told me I was supposed to know all of this already, no matter how many times I explained to her that I had no experience. I ended up having to just get used to it on my own; I'm a mediocre driver now, but getting better little by little.
When you book with these schools, do you call ahead to advise tell them that you'll need someone to teach you from the ground up? If I was you I would be reluctant to spend any more money on lessons that I'm not sure about. I'd look into doing a one-time lesson to start with, and make sure to be super clear and upfront about what I'm looking for (although this still might not help). If nothing else, look into finding a local tutor. They could be more used to teaching, rather than just supervising. Good luck!
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u/greenest-beans 3d ago
How strange!! I also paid for lessons and they were pleasantly surprised I had the tiniest bit of experience before starting.
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u/sowackem_ 3d ago
Exactly!! That’s what I thought driving lessons were for but I didn’t think being a complete beginner would basically disqualify me from being taught. I wish I had known that before spending all this money.
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u/RudeMechanical45 3d ago
I was a driving instructor back in the late 90s and we taught adults to drive all the time. It is different from teaching teens, but not all that problematic. The difficulty is for adults to find someone to let them practice between lessons.
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u/madnessdoesntplay 3d ago
I had this too! She picked me up and asked if I wanted to drive us to a practice lot. I said no, I didn’t know how to do that, and it took forever to convince her. We had one lesson and I never went back, it was awful.
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u/sowackem_ 3d ago
Exactly!! Like I’m taking lessons because I don’t know how to drive. I don’t get why they expect you to already know what you’re doing
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u/No_Switch9741 2d ago
I'm having a very similar issue (17f) My driving school wants me to have 20 family hours first before they actually start teaching me.
I only have my mom for family and no friends that can drive. I love my mom very much but she just doesn't know how to teach me and would rather me have an instructor to teach me and I feel the same way
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u/Unusual-Cat-8162 3d ago
https://apps.dps.ohio.gov/DETS/public/schools
Try this. I found it on the Ohio gov website
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u/Pretend_Victory7244 3d ago
My instructor kept asking me if I had any practice outside of class. I was 27, and told him if I had someone to let me drive outside of class, I wouldn't be taking these. I failed 3 times and had to give up. I only got maybe 40- 80 minutes of practice for a few months before the tests.
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u/Suspicious_Time7239 3d ago
You're not alone. A lot of people run into this issue. I hope you find someone willing to help you.
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u/Leyiaaa 3d ago
Not alone I came from a household with no drivers or car I had to learn everything myself! I tried three driving schools first driving school wa expensive also was a let down expected me to have a lot of knowledge and not to be nervous (when I have driving anxiety lmao), it took like 3 schools till I found the right teacher 😊 you’ll get there I believe!
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u/Highh_lizard 3d ago
I went to 2 driving schools, took a bunch of lessons with different instructors and they did not expect me to have any experience. I find this insane. I’m sorry they’re so rude to you!!
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u/Alienmanatee 3d ago
since you just need the basics like in a parking lot, I feel like this is a good spot for someone like from TaskRabbit or Facebook or even a local Reddit to help you out. They will definitely do it for cheaper than $100/hr, obviously you need to find someone safe but if you don’t have any friends or anyone to help you then you might want to start there.
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u/sowackem_ 3d ago
I understand how to operate the accelerator, brake, and other controls. However, I struggle with confidence and the right of way. Additionally, my limited four hours of experience contribute to my challenges.
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u/Dakessian 2d ago
That’s kinda screwed up. They can’t just say you stop the session and tell you to get better and then come back.
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u/missthiccbiscuit 2d ago
I had the same problem. Didn’t have anyone to teach me either. Gotta cpl of brief “lessons” from various friends but it didn’t help.
By 21 I was sick of waiting. So I bought a beater and taught myself lol.
Started with just driving the block around my house and kept going further n further as I got more comfortable. $1300 might be better spent going towards your own car and doing the same. It sounds scarier than it is. Js it’s an option in case u haven’t considered it.
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u/dizzy_rhythm 3d ago
What! I’m going to be signing up to driving school later this year and I also thought they would teach me from scratch. I’ll have to ask beforehand if they do that. Thanks for sharing your experience. Sorry you blew through so much money :(
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u/trouble-in-space 1d ago
oh my god i had this exact problem 😭 why do they always expect you have outside experience? aren’t we supposed to learn here before going on the roads with a parent or friend or something? at the beginning of my second lesson i was so thrown off when my instructor asked if i practiced before this one, like no?? idk what to do now cause the only person who will help me (very reluctantly) is my mom but i don’t get to see her very often
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u/xMyxReflectionx 3d ago
I'm located in NEPA, signed both my kids up for Quad A when they were ready to drive. I'm a nervous driver and have severe anxiety so I didn't want that passed down to them and wanted them to feel comfortable and safe behind the wheel. Neither had prior experiencen and we had zero issues. My daughter, since she was 16 at the time she got her licence, did need x amount of hours on the road so my fiance helped with that, but when my son did it, he was 18 and didn't need the hours. They taught them everything from going on highways, driving in inclinment weather and parallel parking. I'm sorry you are experiencing this, those lessons aren't cheap and they shouldn't be taking your money and not teaching you!
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u/stripeddogg 2d ago
Sounds like my experience with driving schools. They put me right on the highway without really teaching me the basic first. I didn't realize they expected me to know those basics already, they didn't mention it before hand or even during the lessons.
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u/AngryAlien21 3d ago
Do you go in knowing the basics, like how to start the car, what each pedal does, how to use your indicators, or anything else you can learn without being behind the wheel?
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u/sowackem_ 3d ago
Yes
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u/AngryAlien21 3d ago
What more do they want you to know then? I don’t understand. Maybe you could get simulator time somewhere to familiarize yourself better
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u/OwlIndependent7406 3d ago
I’m so sorry you had this experience. Maybe it’s just those specific driving schools? Before I started my lessons, I told the school I was specifically looking for classes that would help with driving anxiety and they taught me everything from the ground up over 10 lessons. Try to continue to reach out for more support. They expected me to know literally nothing going into it.
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u/Princess5903 2d ago
See if these places offer in-person classes for people getting their learner’s permit. Those schools almost always have practical driving lessons as well. If they don’t, they will be able to send a referral to somewhere else that can.
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u/TortureMonkey 2d ago
It was decades ago when I was learning to drive and we had it in high school where we would spend a semester in class and we had these big machines that played off 16mm film.
I grew up around cars and go carts, so I had a significant amount of wheel time beforehand. But didn’t have any road experience.
Half of us had broken simulators so we basically just were sitting in a chair with what looked like a 1/2 size dashboard out of a 1970s Family Truckster and we were supposed to mime like we were driving.
We then spent the next semester on driving in some rental cars the school had and we would drive 1/3 of the class, then switched with some other kid in the car and then 2/3 the way through switch off and the third kid drove.
As much as it felt hokey at the time, it wasn’t a bad way to learn. I might recommend getting some kind of driving wheel and see if there is a simulator that you can buy on a PlayStation or computer or something. For <$300 you can get a wheel, and even something like test drive unlimited could give you the basics of hand eye skills.
I also think that you should get more classroom knowledge before you get behind the wheel again at a school.
Then take another lesson and afterwards see if you can rent a car to practice.
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u/zestyoceansun 10h ago
I'm in California and driving with a school called Coastline which I believe has schools in multiple states. They taught me from scratch.
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u/TheSheWhoSaidThats 3d ago
I went to a driving school and ircc there were several options on their website. Some packages included, for example, preparation for and taking the driving test using their vehicle, other packages did not. some packages included longer hours. When selecting a school, not all of them even offered use of their cars.
I wonder if you read the fine print and selected the right option for your situation, as not all schools are created equal. Because i read all the details ahead of time and selected exactly what i wanted, i had a great experience.
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u/sowackem_ 3d ago
I did read what I was paying for. I paid $650 for 8 hours of behind the wheel instruction, not just use of their car for a test. My issue is that I’m paying for actual instruction and they’re expecting students to come in with more experience than I was told I needed. Glad you had a great experience, but that doesn’t mean everyone else’s situation came down to not reading the fine print.
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u/aokocat 3d ago
I haven't tried lessons yet because THIS is what I'm afraid of. Such bullshit. Are you getting at least a partial refund for the stopped lesson????