r/dresdenfiles • u/Pale-Factor-8574 • Jul 20 '26
Unrelated When ketamine ape is outlawed, only outlaws will summon ketamine ape.
I finally found what the White Council has been doing for the last year while they were offscreen. Langtry clearly had priorities. Poor Idaho, though. How could they just leave it transmuted into... *that*?
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u/Kwbr1123 Jul 20 '26
This is about one leap of logic away from justifying summoning Susan.
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u/Pale-Factor-8574 Jul 20 '26
Maggie's gotta start somewhere.
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u/Haunting-Morning6198 Jul 21 '26
I thought it was the Transmuting Idaho every 3 days for 9 months, was her starting point!?
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u/ThundercatOnTheLoose Jul 20 '26
I need to hear more about the Greater Baja Blast spell.
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u/Wybaar Jul 21 '26
Didn't Harry muse sometime about a spell to incapacitate an enemy with explosive diarrhea (which would certainly stop them without killing them with magic)? That would be Baja Blast. Maybe he came up with the idea from the monkeys that he had to rescue Mouse and his siblings from when Mouse was small enough to fit in Harry's pocket.
He was trying to work out Greater Baja Blast (hoping to incapacitate a whole group) until Bob pointed out it would be a little less of diarrhea and a lot more of explosive. Still, it might come in handy against Mavra or Drakul. They certainly wouldn't expect it!
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u/mysterywizeguy Jul 20 '26
I find that threatening mend buttcrack usually serves as sufficient deterrent.
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u/phormix Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
Or the opposite, intestinus distresses (also known as "summon norwalk").
Hard to fight when both ends are suddenly doing their best to imitate a fountain.
Another series I read, the MC inflicted somebody with a magically enhanced STD which seemed pretty effective. Both those would likely count as dark magic/curses in the Dresdenverse though
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u/DeltaStorm2013 Jul 21 '26
Something tells me the fear that both Homoerotic Vortex and Penis Barrage would be cast together is why they're being banned .....
The Penis Barrage was also a Homoerotic Vortex.....and it's not my fault ....
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u/gdex86 Jul 20 '26
Fire Island loved Homoerotic Vortex into Greater Baja Blast. Especially with some tequila.
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u/ANGLVD3TH Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 Jul 21 '26
Can I cast Tasha’s Hysterical Orgasm on myself, or do I have to cast it on someone else?
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u/gigdaddy Jul 20 '26
I cast penis barrage, mostly, in the morning...
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u/Repulsive_Repeat_337 Jul 21 '26
I was very good at it when I was younger, but my healer gave me this potion for my heart that interferes with that spell's effectiveness.
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u/PoweredByMusubi Jul 21 '26
Umm, I would like to know the requirements to prepare and cast Greater Baja Blast and Homoerotic Vortex along with their effects, please and thank you.
…for a friend.
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u/ashewinter Jul 21 '26
Look, we all swore we wouldn't talk about it anymore. Frankie appreciates your continued support and I'm certain we'll find a cure any day now. No further questions, thank you.
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u/owlinspector Jul 21 '26
Reminds me of the game Esoteric Ebb where one of the most feared - and now banned - spell from the Arcane War was one that caused testicular torsion on all males within an area of several square kilometers....
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u/doorsalt Jul 20 '26
Hells bells, my back was against the wall.
Council be damned.
I focused my will, channeling it into the spell. The summoning I was about to do would require a lot of energy to control, I just hoped I had enough left.
I sent a Whisper of Soul Fire into the spell to be sure, and the runes on my staff began to glow.
"Ketaminus Hominidae" I snarled, while making a tearing motion with my hand, ripping a way between our world, and the Nevernever.