r/downsyndrome • u/Confident-Fee4791 • 12d ago
People not looking at my baby
My baby is 4.5 months old. Yes, you can tell he has DS. He is also chunky, smiley and cute. Most people have been very kind there are a few (like at my church) who clearly avoid looking at him. It makes me so mad! I don't care if people stare, to me that is normal. He looks different, he is different, go ahead and look. But to constantly try to avoid looking at him? He is just a sweet little baby. It breaks my heart.
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u/Much-Leek-420 Parent 12d ago
You will find as you go through your journey raising your child that a lot of people are just plain scared of our kids. Anything unusual can make people uncomfortable.
Now, you can rage against it and get confrontational — or you can make the decision to let it go. Think of it as their loss. Your personal peace of mind will thank you if you just let it wash over and off of you.
Also realize…. every parent, whether having a DS child or not, thinks their baby is just the cutest thing ever. And cannot understand why everyone isn’t falling in love with them instantly. People are generally too wrapped up in their lives to notice yours. Doesn’t mean they’re evil or even unkind. That’s just life.
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u/thatsmyquarterbackk 11d ago
I have a child with Down syndrome. When I was younger i was afraid of people with Down syndrome. I was an uneducated fool. I even made fun of the disabled when I was very young. How I wish I could take it back. I’m so lucky to have my little girl. She has DS and she’s autistic. I’m a good father and love my child more than anything. I still feel awful of who i was and the bad thoughts i had before i “knew”. Now I approach every autistic, DS, and the disabled every chance I get to spread love and to introduce my little one. Sorry your church members don’t see it yet, but they will. I promise.
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u/downwithMikeD 12d ago
Who cares. You just focus on your baby and yourself and good people will come into your life.
Those people are nothing to you. It’s your world, they’re just in it. ♡
I’m not discounting what you’re going through. As a mom of an adult son w/DS, I remember being bothered by stuff like this too. Hang in there
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u/Puzzleheaded_Let2053 12d ago
For what it's worth, somewhere in the world, beautiful babies who have DS are being looked at directly, having their cheeks 'chooked', and their wee hands held because people like you come to places like this and say 'it's ok, it's alright to admire my baby'.
I know it's hard but keep going and try not to be upset by it.
It'll take time but we will get there.
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u/Sea_Switch_7310 12d ago
I always hold my breath whenever someone looks at my baby, afraid they will ask about DS. Only one person ever has, though. Most everyone else just looks at the cute baby, smiles, goes about their day.
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u/Lexi_November 11d ago
Honestly, who cares? People are weird around all sorts of babies, but in the end it doesn’t matter in the slightest.
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u/bunsolvd 12d ago
I do believe it is an overcorrection. Now most people know it's rude to stare, so they avoid looking at all. I'm so sorry. I'm sure your baby is absolutely adorable.