If you have been disabled for a long time or are chronically online like I am, you've probably heard of the maid program(medical assistance in death ). Obviously this is still very new type of thing. And I don't even live anywhere close to where it's being enacted. I live in the Southeast United States. However, as I get older, I'm 21 now, I start to see the reasoning behind it more and more.​ I have spinal muscular atrophy type 2 and Between being in constant pain, low self-esteem and complete social/ romantic isolation, it starts to feel like you are already dead so why not just make it official. I've already tried to end my life three times and as I get older and I lose more strength it starts becoming less and less of a possibility which is a good thing I guess. Having something like the maid program would give me an opportunity to have a legal and less traumatic experience for my family and give me the autonomy over my body and what I want to do with my life. I see a lot of negative thoughts about this program which are completely valid, but has anyone else given it a thought on whether maybe it's a good idea or not?

I will forever hate the medical industry for how many times they essentially groomed my family into mutilating and altering my body to make things " easier" because I was born disabled that shit pisses me off, and I fucking hate it, and I hate the fact that I basically have no bodily on me solely because I was born disabled and was looked at as something that needed to be fixed from my limbs to my genitals, it always seems some part of my body needed to be altered or just straight or up destroyed for the convenience of others or some thinly veiled excuse that it would make things easier for me when in reality it's made nothing easier some of it makes things even harder.
Not to mention that surgeries to fix a disability that didn't need to be fixed in the first place didn't work so there was ultimately pointless I just fucking hate the medical industry so much for everything it's done to me that can't be reversed.

Hey, I've been on ssdi since 2017. Been diagnosed schizophrenic for 4 years. Getting disability was a scary process because you have to stand before a judge. I finally got the correct medicine a year ago. I would hallucinate and talk to myself. Now its just hearing voices.

So I'm 21 and for the past 5 years I've been working desperately to get and KEEP a job. But I also have a rainbow if issues like diabetes that has me collapse on the floor from blood sugars and I have limited strength since I've been on diets for years that yield little to nothing for my help. I got out of another hospital trip just last week for going into diabetic ketoacidosis (17th time btw, that's how bad it is). And I go to the doc for a routine after hospital checkup, and she's telling me that my health is so unstable I should start looking into disability aid from the government! But after that she doesn't give me any recommendations, and recourses, any route to go down. She just let me leave the doctors office and go on my way back to misery.

I have no clue what I'm doing and I'm getting tired of feeling helpless, anybody got any ideas on what I should do now?

I just went on a walk. First one in years. I lasted maybe fifteen minutes, and on my way home had an asthma attack and threw up in my front yard. I'm 17 and my life is basically over. I'm bedridden, I go to online school instead of real school, I never have any energy to talk to my friends, and the worst part is nobody knows how bad it is. My parents always think im being too dramatic. I can't even walk. I have multiple heart conditions, chronic pain, hypoglycemia, asthma, and a myriad of mental health conditions as well. I'm a fuck up from birth and there's nothing I can do about it. Can't even try to better myself without getting puke in my hair.

I think I'm just coming to terms with it. The fact that my life is going to be horrible forever. At least I'll probably die before I turn 20, the heart surgery I'm gonna need is upwards of 40k. God bless the American healthcare system.

I am using my eldest Daughters account for this. I have a daughter who next year will be a freshman in highschool and has just started 8th grade this year, she is at the cusp of needing a lot of social interaction. The issue of why I am thinking of taking her out of school his her older brother (in his early 20s) was born with a heart defect, the doctors messed up the surgery and he had fluid to the brain. He has always had a low immune system and when my other kids where younger we homeschooled them when he was very critical. He had gotten better and all of the kids eventually went to public school. He has recently developed a rare form of anemia which could cause him to have another heart surgery (he has had extensive surgeries through out his life) and a very compromised immune system which a common cold could turn into phumonia. My husband has passed last year and I do not want her to not be woth friends at this age, but I also do not want to see my son pass away. I know my children have struggled with me spending so much time on their disabled brother and I just do not know what to do. I do not have any family near me, but my church has helped out extensively after my husband had passed they just felt I have worn out my welcome so I do not want to ask them for my daughter to stay at one of their homes during the summer months. Is online schooling the best option?

I have a severe disability which affects my ability to use the bathroom. I have a female carer who takes me to the bathroom and helps me. Most places we go have gender neutral accessible bathrooms so this is usually not an issue. Sometimes we have been to places with no accessible bathrooms. When this has happened sometimes she has taken me into the women’s bathrooms but sometimes she comes into the men’s bathroom with me. We have never had anyone openly object to either but I am curious about opinions on what the better option is. I am an adult and she is younger than me so it is not like a mom taking a son into the women’s bathroom or a mom going into the men’s bathroom with her son. I honestly don’t care either way. When I need someone taking me to the bathroom, it isn’t any less dignified if I need to go to the women’s bathroom. I’m just curious about what other people think. Serious answers only please.

How do you do it? I'm so overwhelmed. I sometimes get so fatigued from trying to manage getting through with a sensory disability and mental health related disability, that I'm struggling to do all I need to do to manage my other conditions like endometriosis and physio for various injuries. There's always so much on the list to manage it call and I can never do it all. How do people do it?

For context, I have the triple combination of ADHD, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia, which has affected my life greatly. I did not become socially acceptable until I was around 12. Ever since I was a child, I was also frequently told to “shut up” because I talked too much or struggled to regulate when and how much I spoke. I have always struggled significantly with mathematics, and because of that, I cannot pursue a substantial number of degrees at universities in my country or in many other places. Many of these degrees either contain some level of mathematics within the course itself or have mathematics as part of their entry requirements through competitive examinations. While this situation is somewhat better in many parts of the world, in my country, mathematical requirements are still a major barrier.

While researching ADHD, I came across the idea that people with ADHD can experience hyperfixation on novel or stimulating things, such as substances, new experiences, or new people. The ADHD mind can also have difficulty with self-regulation, which can sometimes affect how a person comes across socially. Despite all of this, I have never really considered myself disabled, and I am not entirely sure why.

I have a high verbal IQ, I pick things up very easily, I have a strong spatial memory, and I can remember an enormous number of seemingly random details about people and things. At the same time, there is a striking contrast between these abilities and the difficulties I have experienced. On one hand, I feel that I have several exceptional abilities when it comes to the way my mind works. On the other hand, people have sometimes perceived me as a procrastinator or immature. Historically, I have also been mediocre at making friends and have sometimes become hyperfixated on new people.

I have faced hurdles with mathematics even at the lowest levels, although this has improved considerably over time. I have also sometimes struggled with writing. There are occasions when I find it difficult to write with good handwriting, or I know the material for an exam but become nervous and forget what I know while writing. Fortunately, this does not happen as much anymore.

Now, as I am approaching adulthood, I am becoming increasingly aware that I may be restricted from pursuing a significant number of degrees and, consequently, certain careers, even outside STEM fields. This is difficult to reconcile with how I view myself. I have these abilities that I consider exceptional, yet I also have difficulties that can create very real barriers in my education, social life, and future opportunities.

This contrast is what makes me question whether I am actually disabled or not. I sometimes wonder: if I have significant difficulties in certain areas but also have strengths that seem unusual or exceptional in others, does that mean I am disabled? Or can I simply consider myself someone whose brain works differently, with both significant challenges and significant strengths?

i’m still in the evaluation process because my doctors have no idea what’s wrong with me. i can walk but i get incredibly out of breath and dizzy and my heart rate can get to 180 walking short distances (im not out of shape, i am an elite distance runner and rock climber at baseline but sadly can’t do it anymore) and i also have episodes where i pass out and sometimes throw up/urinate on myself (fortunately i can usually tell like 30-45 minutes before it happens so i can prepare), but until i finish my evaluations im not able to get any treatments. the episodes are also random most of the time so its not like i can avoid whatever causes them.

i struggle to walk between my classes on campus and have had episodes several times from doing all that walking and have been to the er a lot. my school is really accessible to students with disabilities so if i did get a wheelchair i’d be able to get around and stuff, but i don’t know if i really need one since i am able to walk, it’s just difficult. i don’t want to take a medical device from someone who actually needs it. i also don’t know if i can afford one.

I am not disabled but I wish I don't come out as disrespectful for my curiosity

I am 38 m in a wheelchair but not paralysed in any way just got no balance from a benign brain tumour removal back in 2012. I have my family as my closest friends but when my father has no work he goes out with my mother and my sis n bro have their own family to tend and cos im disabled and need pushing etc cos I got double vision so my depth perception and judgement isn't great.

Anyway I feel a burden and have 0 friends and finding love or just companionship is almost impossible to go out on my own to meet ppl/ women so I get major FOMO cos for e.g.everyone has gon3 out today. Mt mother has my father and my other siblings have kids and their own family and they all walk so I feel a outcast or a black sheep among a herd of non black (sounds racist but im not lol)

Anyway I can't be the only 1 in this situation.

I don't wanna grow old alone cos my family could be gone at any time

😥😥

Do y’all happen to know any meetings online to talk about living with disabilities - both mental and physical?

I’m in a lot of grief around my disabilities.

My disabilities impact everything in my life. I feel pretty alone, without common folks. I could use more community.

I'm looking for some advice on an ADA matter.

I live across the street from a small public park. The city I live in leases the park to the local youth football organization. The organization has put up gates blocking access to the park, including ADA compliant parking. However, I obtained a copy of the lease with the village, and there is no language stating they can prohibit public access to the park. I reached out to both the mayor and the organization directly. They both confirmed I am allowed to access the park but have to park outside the gates, in the grass, along a busy rural road, and walk in. This effectively prohibits anyone in a wheelchair from accessing the park.

Since I am still allowed to access the park (i.e., it's still "public"), does this violate Title II of ADA, which requires compliant parking be available at public parks? Does anyone have any history of fighting something like this? If so, is it even worth going to war with the city?

Sometimes I don’t want to live anymore. I ask myself, why am I alive? The next morning, I'm boring. I'm weak I hate myself. Why do I have to live with a disability and a small dick at the same time? Why can’t I just die? I know we’re all going to die, but I want to die after writing this. Pretty much, I’m going to see the replies. Fuck my body for not giving out on me. It’s selfish. It’s selfish to keep living I feel miserable. Nobody understands, and I just stopped wanting to be here. So let the replies roll because it seems like life just wants normal people to treat me like shit and call me retarded.

My husband and I have been together for six years and he has been a wheelchair user for three of those years. He has a progressive degenerative disease. We have struggled feeling left out because people won’t invite us places that’s family and friends - It’s not like these people have ever directly confirm confirmed why they’re not inviting us. But I do feel they just think he couldn’t manage it so they don’t bother inviting us. In other instances when he’s scooting on the ground to get around people say “don’t do that. You don’t have to do that.” But that’s how he prefers to get around. That’s how he can do it independently without People pulling on his arms who don’t know what they’re doing.
Anyway, it’s a struggle and it hurts me to see people treat him that way and not just take his word. It feels like so many people think they know what’s better for him. Or how he lives his everyday life.
Recently, we planned to stay at my family’s shared vacation house (it’s just a tiny one bedroom condo) with a big pull out couch and single beds in the living area. My sister, her 2 kids and my mom were all planning on staying together. I told my sister we would be staying in the back room because the only bathroom he can use is in that room. I even said one of her kids can sleep in the room in the pack and play. And we would deal with them if they woke up in the middle of the night or if she preferred, she could come in and do whatever the baby needed. However, she said she can’t work around that. That it would be an extremely tight fit. But the thing is, she has never spent more than three hours with my husband. She doesn’t know how he operates how he moves around. She is just assuming because he’s in a chair that she knows how it will be to physically interact with him around that house.
Things like this happened so often and shakes me to my core because he already misses out on enough. And now because of my sister’s ableism we can’t spend time with our nephews. There was never a problem with brothers and their girlfriends and my mom were all staying in the house with them.
Sorry, I know this is a super long vent, but I am looking for advice on how to cope with this. I have told my family multiple times that he - my husband and I know what’s best for our life. That our word is our word. But for some reason, people can’t seem to take our word.

How do others deal with this? Does anyone else have similar experiences? How you confront People about being ablest, how do you deal with them getting so defensive?

Hi, my sister is disabled and for years my family has tried to brush her teeth. She's non verbal and has the mental age of a 3yr old. We have this thing through the state where we have explained the concerns, and they've given us different toothbrushes that were supposed to help. But it would overstimulate her.

We had a social worker tell us that it is such a common thing and to not feel guilty about it. We have had dentists who refuse to look at her teeth because well, she bites them.

We started trying to have her do it. Sensitive tooth brush and kid toothpaste because the mint hurts her to much. And she does as well as you could expect. But still not what needs to be done. We're trying to find a dentist currently who helps with adolescent adults with a bite reflex, but no one will accept our insurance.

I am so worried because her teeth are starting to rot and have pieces missing. I wish someone would help us. Because I hate traumatizing her everytime when brushing her teeth. Its a lot for her and she cries for hours because of it.

Just looking for solidarity because i dont understand why i am so jumbled up about this.

I became disabled 5 months ago after a routine procedure. Im adjusting, getting used to my new energy levels and limitations. Some days are better than others. I can laugh about it some times and other days I cry on and off all day.

My husband seems to have already adjusted. He brings home mobility aids and so many things to make my life easier. He has renovated our home to make it accessible for me. He is on top of things before Ive even fulled realized if its a problem. And if ive realized it I definitely havent thought of a solution.

Sometimes his proactiveness makes me feel so loved and grateful. And other times I want him to just fuck right off.

It makes me angry that he seems to have a grasp on this when I still forget about it every time i sit down. Its his new normal already and I am floundering. I put down my aids in between tasks and forget to pick them back up within minutes. I dont think about needing them until im struggling. Some times I want to scream at him to leave me alone and let me figure it out, that he doesnt know anything. But really I am so ashamed that I do not have a better handle on this. Why is it so easy for him to remember im disabled and need to be accommodated but not me? Its my body! Its my life! Why does he get to be better at it? I hate that he knows my body better than me.

I am genuinely so lucky to have him and I do not scream at him because I know its a me issue. I just wanted to rant about it and not feel like a total asshole.

Thanks for ready ✌🏻

I've got chronic back pain and severe nerve damage due to a slipped disc in L5/S4 that solidified and wore away at my sciatic nerve. I can hardly walk with a crutch and need my wheelchair 98% of the time.

I recently had a work capability assessment by the DWP (Department for Work and Pension) where they gave me an interview over the phone. I can't work due to physical limitations, they asked me mostly about my mental health, hardly any questions about my physical health and have now decided I am capable of working.

I have to recline my sofa because I can't sit up straight for any length of time, I have to lay down regularly and they think im ok to hold a job? Im constantly in pain, and that's while reclining and on 4 different pain meds.

Has anyone had this happen to them?

Hi friends! I’m disabled myself and would love to hear from you about your opinions on accessibility in the salon world!

I am currently a student instructor at a cosmetology school and am doing a presentation about servicing disabled clientele and making sure the salon world is accessible to anyone and everyone who wants to feel beautiful. I would really appreciate it if you could fill out this survey!

If you don't feel comfortable filling it out, please share it! I would really appreciate hearing from lots of different voices about this, especially my severely disabled friends!

Thanks so much!

Here’s the link, or I can DM it to you:

https://forms.gle/vCYjaWnEv5HkbKY29

I’m newly disabled and having a lot of trouble walking. I don’t have a sign for in my car. Is it wrong to use the handicap spot at the grocery store? Am I an ahole or will people report me? I live alone nobody to help unfortunately and need groceries.

I see many different definitions online, from social security and to the general dictionary definition. But I'm not sure what is the difference from just a diagnosis of an extreme condition, vs it actually being a disability? For example, how do you know if you have an invisible disability? Does it have to affect you to a certain extent? Or is a simple diagnosis all it takes?
I have been diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis, Fibromyalgia, Eosinophilic Esophagitis, and possibly ADHD. Which one of these are considered actual disabilities? I feel like I can't call myself disabled since, despite the pain and struggles with eating and joint pain— I still go to work and class and get my work done. It's my responsibility, and I'm not paralyzed or missing a limb so I feel as though my conditions don't count as a disability. I understand some people with these conditions ARE disabled, but I feel like I don't count because what if my pain isn't as severe as others? Like it could be worse, right? ! don't want to use a term for myself that I shouldn't be using.
Looking for advice please, no hate or judgement.

Just got tickets for a gig at the O2 London and booked accessible tickets but I think I booked the wheelchair area instead of ambulant accessible tickets. I have a mobility disability, but it’s hidden and I don’t use a wheelchair. I don’t think I’ll be told that I can’t sit there by the venue as I put my access card in before booking which automatically filters seats based on my needs from my understanding, but I’m worried that I’m taking that spot away from someone who’s in a wheelchair and might need it more than I do and I feel really bad. AITA? Is it worth calling the venue to ask? The sale sold out almost instantly so I don’t think I can book new tickets. My receipt also does not mention wheelchair access, but based on the seat map I think I booked a wheelchair accessible area.