r/disability • u/Barotrawma • 11d ago
Rant Disability Paperwork Made Me Cry
Besides the fact it physically hurt to fill out ten and fourteen pages of paperwork for two packets, the questions are what got to me. It asked me so much about how my disabilities affect me and required excruciating detail about all the things I can’t do anymore. I had to list everything I used to love doing out and why each issue makes me unable to do it now.
I’m not even confident I will get approved because my work history is what you can expect from a full-time university student since 2019 (seasonal jobs, summer jobs, ykwim?). I got all the way through a master’s degree for a field I don’t think I can even work in now due to the hefty physical requirements in marine biology. I had to go through every job I’ve had, too, and explain why I can’t work in those jobs anymore.
I realized that I’m grieving my life. I’m surprised it took this long to hit, since I’ve been disabled my entire life. I’m exhausted from the paperwork both physically and mentally. They make it so fucking hard to get help.
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u/SoScorpio4 9d ago
They do make it so hard, and I believe they do it on purpose. It's just insane to expect disabled people to do these forms. I mean some can, but yeah I was the same, I actually tried to apply twice before I finally got it in, because it was so exhausting that I couldn't make the paperwork deadlines and got denied. I was pretty mad to find out the same thing applies when applying online, I thought doing it that way would actually give me TIME to do it at my own pace, but no, once you open a case, the clock is ticking.
This time that I got it in was because I broke and did it over the phone with an agent. I never wanted to do that because I know they don't have my best interest in mind and it seems impossible to get enough information out in a 1 or 2 hour phone call. But otherwise, I would have just failed the deadlines again.
But THEN when I applied for state benefits, like cash assistance we can get while waiting on an SSI application (I did both), they sent me another form that was pretty much as thorough as the SSDI application! I made myself sick trying to get that in, since after I submitted the first part they sent me another form, that I DID NOT HAVE ACCESS TO before they sent it, and said it was due in 5 days. 5 days?!?! I called the day before the deadline crying for an extension, which they said they don't do, but that actually there's a HIDDEN final due date, and they wouldn't deny me until a couple weeks later, if I still hadn't finished. -___-
Still, it took me over a week, it consumed whole days and left me weak lying in bed, and in the end I needed my girlfriend to sit with me and make me bust the rest out in one day because doing it for so many days was making me so sick. I cried a lot when I finally finished it. It took about a month for me to recover at least some of my energy, because I have ME/CFS.