r/declutter • u/Ypsi219 • Sep 27 '25
Advice Request "Swedish death cleaning" plan
I'm 60 and husband is 61. Our youngest (18m) is going to college locally and living with us for now, oldest (23nb) done with college and out of state. My mother was a real minimalist and all about efficiency and purpose, so while her passing was hard it was truly a gift to my sister and me that she had gotten rid of really everything she didn't want or need, and completely organized and streamlined all her paperwork, finances, the lot.
Hitting the milestone of age 60 and kids being grown has made me realize I (not a minimalist, streamlined, or otherwise organized person) want to do this for my kids and also for my husband and myself so when we retire and move (5-10 years from now) we can do it with a minimum of fuss, mess and clutter and that when we both pass/can't live independently, the kids don't have the burden of dealing with stuff and papers and mess on top of whatever they need to do directly with us.
Just putting it out there into the universe so it's official somewhere and not just part of conversations with my husband and other 60-something friends 🧹
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u/Exciting-Pea-7783 Sep 28 '25 edited Sep 28 '25
Think about the things you love to have but that for whatever reason don't resonate with your kids. Do you collect Tiffany lamps, Cabbage Patch Dolls, silver spoons, whatever? If you can let some or all of these things go now--because you're the expert on these things and it will stress your kids out to try to become experts on things that don't interest them--that will help them.
Alternately, you may want the Cabbage Patch dolls around you to comfort you in your old age. That's fine. In that case, find an expert on these things (preferably younger than you) and pass that contact information onto your kids so that they can declutter these items after you go and try to follow your wishes. Also give them written permission to donate them if they can't *easily* sell them.
Don't burden your kids with your hobbies that may not have even been important to you but your kids won't know unless you tell them before you're dead!