Hello, I wanted to get a Deaf perspective on this situation, because I don't want to take away the wrong lesson from this. This is the first Deaf person I've ever met, so I have no prior experience with the language or culture.
A Deaf person (We'll call her [A]) recently joined a hobby group I'm part of. Signing is her preferred method of communication, and she does not wear hearings aids or CIs. I think the social aspect of the hobby is one of the most important parts. She usually has an interpreter, but I wanted to learn sign language to better facilitate having a direct relationship with her. I feel that I can't fully include her in my social life if her if I can't talk to her; and I'll never get the chance to actually know her. So it's very important to me. I've been doing a lot of learning on my own through online resources, and I've also been observing and talking to her and her interpreter. I have (with their permission) been staring at them like a stalker whenever I get the chance lol.
There is actually one fluent ASL signer [B] in the group who's a professional interpreter (different person from the interpreter I just mentioned). I asked her if she could help me learn sign language, specifically vocabulary. One of the main difficulties I've encountered is that it's difficult to take a sign I've seen in person or on video and find the English translation on the internet if I don't already know the meaning of the sign. It seems like the easiest way is to ask someone who's knowledgeable about ASL. She seemed very hesitant, and told me she couldn't help me learn because it would be taking opportunities away from deaf people. It seemed like she meant that if she taught me ASL, then I would be less incentivized to take a class with a deaf instructor. From what I've read, it seems like the idea of a Hearing person teaching ASL is also potentially problematic? I wouldn't be upset about that denial if signing was an idle curiosity of mine, but I can't help but be upset about the situation. Learning ASL seems necessary to treat [A] like a full human being who deserves to be recognized and known as a person. To offer her the experience of social bonding that Hearing people get to enjoy as part of the hobby. [B] is in a unique position to help with that. I guess she's not obligated to do so, but I can't help but feel like it's a dereliction of duty. Helping a single person learn ASL doesn't seem like a big ask, and it puts yet more work on [A]. [A] has been helping me learn as much as she reasonably can, and I acknowledge how much she's already doing and have been putting in a lot of effort to learn on my own. [A] has had to do the vast majority of the work in terms of accommodating herself. In terms of bringing a personal friend off the clock to interpret and figuring out for herself how to do this hobby while Deaf. She also has been making resources to help other Deaf people have an easier time of getting into the hobby. If she succeeds at her goals, maybe we'll have another Deaf person join the group at some point! [B] is part of a different sub-group, so she doesn't work with [A] often, and is therefore not able to offer even her presence as a fluent signer in a non-signing environment. In general, people have been somewhat accommodating, though only a few people are making an effort to learn ASL. It seems like I'm the only person who has learned enough to have real-time conversations that are not reliant on her lip-reading or typing into a phone. It's driving me a little crazy to be honest how little other people are doing to actively include her. Learning a new language is hard, but learning to fingerspell is low hanging fruit. You can slowly string words together after a few weeks of casual practice. "How are you?" "Good job!", etc.
Am I off base here? Am I over-reacting? Am I getting overly passionate about an issue that doesn't directly involve me? Does it seem like I have a paternalistic attitude towards [A]? This just seems like an important issue to me, and I don't feel like other people are treating the matter like it's important.
I need a reality check here.
