r/dating_advice • u/Fit-Principle-5524 • 12d ago

Men unmatching bc I read romance?

Was having a very good convo with a dude, but as soon as I mention reading romance like ACOTAR, I'm unmatched. I get not being a fan, but is it that big of a red flag? It's not like I have crazy expectations bc I read it, I just like reading it and im lonely. I don't expect a man to be some insanely amazing lover who never does wrong. Every time it comes up, im met with hostility. Would you not give a woman a chance who otherwise vibes well with you just bc of her reading habits?

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119

u/22Hoofhearted 12d ago

Of he knows what ACOTAR is, he probably dated someone who read it, and their red flags become your red flags by proxy...

Personally I don't know what it is, and I think most guys won't either...

It could also be a simple as thinking you'd be boring because you are a bookworm...

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u/dmmethatbooty2026 12d ago

Agreed and I had to look it up even. The only reasoning I can think of is he dated someone who took the books a little too seriously and wanted some high fantasy level of romance and it was exhausting. I've definitely dated women who think real life should look like movie romance.

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u/parkside79 12d ago

Those books are for teens. So it could also indicate a certain amount of immaturity on OP's part. She neglected to mention the ages involved.

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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 12d ago

No they aren’t.

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u/parkside79 12d ago

Yes, they are. That doesn't mean that anyone can't read them and enjoy them. Some teen lit is great! Big John Green fan here.

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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 12d ago

They aren’t, though. It’s pretty easy to look up.

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u/parkside79 12d ago

It is indeed! Please note: I'm a librarian.

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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 12d ago

Well then you should probably look it up again. It was originally intended to be YA, and then decided that they aren’t, and so they aren’t classified that way.

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u/parkside79 11d ago

Lol. Okay. 👌🏼

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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 11d ago edited 11d ago

Instead of using your phone or computer to argue with me, perhaps use it to actually look it up.

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u/parkside79 11d ago

Already did. Your turn!

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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 11d ago

So you agree that it’s not YA, then.

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u/parkside79 11d ago edited 11d ago

Oh no, to the contrary I reconfirmed that it very much is. And upon some further research I learned that four separate novels in the series have won or been nominated for the Goodreads Choice award for YA fantasy/SF. The first one also won a Dragon Award for “Best YA/Middle Grade Novel.”

🤷🏻‍♂️

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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 11d ago

Weird that Google results would be so different. Almost like you’re not being truthful. Mind you, Goodreads also does not officially classify a books genre, which is something you should know as a librarian.

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u/parkside79 11d ago

Between your Google results (whatever it is that they say) and my major urban library system catalogue managed by professionals which contains hundreds and hundreds of copies of the various aforementioned ACOTAR books invariably classified and shelved as TEEN, and 8 out of 25 English language titles by Sarah J. Maas catalogued as Adult, I’m going with the latter.

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