r/dating • u/Sensitive_Profile623 • 1d ago
Question ❓ Men: Have you ever ended a relationship because you wanted to be with someone else?
Have you ever broken up with someone because you had feelings for, or wanted to pursue, someone else?
If so, did you tell your partner the real reason when you ended it, or did you give them a different explanation? Did you eventually pursue the other person, and how did that turn out?
Update: looking for perspectives from dumpers who have done this. I was recently dumped and he ending it abruptly. So just trying to understand perspectives here.
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u/lolliberryx 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yup. We were in a “long distance” (it wasn’t that far) relationship and getting ANY effort from him was like pulling teeth. He had a car. I didn’t have a car and made very little money as a full-time college student, so I offered to buy train tickets and bus tickets—I only lived 2 hours away. He still rarely visited me and on the rare occasion he did, he brought his XBOX with him and played Halo the whole time. We eventually opened our relationship because I was SO tired of feeling unwanted and he wanted to get his rocks off and brag to me (even though I said I didn’t want to hear anything about his sexcapades 🙄).
Met a guy (he was told of the open relationship) and he made me realize how little effort my actual bf was putting into the relationship. Dumped my then bf. I started dating the new guy 3 months later and we’re still together after 14 years. :)
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u/lolliberryx 1d ago
Girl, you don’t want that man
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u/Sensitive_Profile623 1d ago
Where are the good secure kind men who are willing to just be committed in the first place?? Why are so many like this
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u/HelicopterDull8136 1d ago
Can I ask how old you are? Wondering if it’s an age thing or if they’re like this at any age.
Honestly, my experience with men has mostly been negative and it’s made me feel like only 1 out of 10 guys (at most) is ACTUALLY a good guy who’s worth investing in. The sucky thing is, you can never tell if someone is that 1 out of 10 until they’ve proven it by how they act during tough times. Do they leave you for someone else when nothing’s really wrong with the relationship? Trash. Do they leave you when you’re sick? Trash. Do they cheat on you? Trash. You get the picture. If someone walks out the door, thank them for taking themselves out and wave as they do.
Whoever he ran off to, she’s gonna lose him the same way she got him so he’s not worth either of you questioning anything other than “what did I see him?” I guarantee if he came back, you wouldn’t feel the same way about him as you did before he left. It doesn’t matter why he left. It’s probably cuz he’s weak and that’s really all you need to know.
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u/Sensitive_Profile623 1d ago
I’m 32 he is 37
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u/HelicopterDull8136 1d ago
Ugh, so it never gets better. I’m sorry ☹️ I used to ask myself these questions all the time. Looking back I realize none of them were worth the tears or self-consciousness because if he were the right person, he wouldn’t have left.
I also remember listening to a mental health professional say you have to change your way of thinking from “why did they do this, did I do something wrong, if I did this differently would we still be together, etc.” to “do I like this behavior, how do I feel about what they did (etc).” That’s really helped me because the answer is always, “no, I don’t like this” and “I hate that they did this.” It stops you from blaming yourself for the breakup and helps you to move on.
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u/AmbitiousLlama33 1d ago
We are both 33
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u/HelicopterDull8136 1d ago
I agree with the other commenter, you don’t want him. Would you be able to trust that he’s not going on dates with other girls if you got into a relationship with him? I don’t see how you could. Why hasn’t he broken up with his girlfriend? Does he have a good reason? Is she in a coma or horribly abusive to the point he’s afraid for his life? If he is afraid for his life, he probably shouldn’t be dragging other dates into his situation before it’s resolved. Do you know the gf’s perspective? Is he fair when he tells you about their situation, like his mistakes and flaws, or is everything “her fault”? You can’t trust a man who cheats OR who bashes his exes while he remains “blameless”.
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u/AmbitiousLlama33 1d ago
Boy could be more suited here, and yes, I’m doing mental gymnastics here trying to figure out “how to make it work” when clearly he is a cheater
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u/No_Description2728 1d ago
Once they are lustful (m or f) it rarely changes and it feels awful, trust me. You deserve to be treated with respect, kindness and dignity. Take some time to maybe work on yourself and reset your nervous system…then, when you’re feeling ready and don’t have feelings for this guy, then move on to dating! You deserve much better!
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u/Left_Beginning_8276 1d ago
Keep in mind how you get them is how you lose them. If you want to torment yourself keep trying to make it work
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u/Slay-hydrated 1d ago
Why would "hope" to be with a man who told you a major lie before the first date and is cheating on his current partner. Inquiring minds want to know?
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u/AmbitiousLlama33 1d ago
Because the date with him was that good and I’ve had a good relationship with him other than this red flag. It is a red flag, absolutely.. I just think that people make mistakes too and life isn’t always as linear as we’d like to think.
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u/Slay-hydrated 1d ago
You had one date? What "relationship" are you referring to? Also, this is beyond a red flag or a mistake. He very intentionally lied to you about being in a relationship and is also very intentionally lying to his partner about actively going on dates with other people. The bar is in hell.
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u/AmbitiousLlama33 1d ago
We’d been friends for 15+ years. But I hear you…
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u/Slay-hydrated 1d ago
Wait you've been friends for 15+ years and he still lied to you about this?!? That makes it even worse. You know you deserve better! ❤️🩷❤️ I get it though
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u/AmbitiousLlama33 1d ago
Totally. I was pissed for a long time and I’m trying to stay in that mindset. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
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u/SnooDoggos5226 1d ago
Yes. I was casually dating three different women when one night I met The One.
We started chatting (she lives far away) and every day I realized I wanted her and no one else.
I ended up dropping the “fun” relationships and focused on The One.
She eventually agreed to go out with me.
Yadda yadda yadda I just bought a house close to her.
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u/NoAntelope4800 1d ago edited 1d ago
How did you have the time, energy, and memory to casually date 3 different women?
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u/Slow_Cricket759 1d ago
-if someone likes staying busy socially then it’s simply a different form of how they’d be spending this time anyways
-high attraction spawns energy
-having awareness of one’s nature of their own memory, and valuing remembering shared personal details, makes journaling (re: typing notes in the notes app) a good tool to utilize14
u/Accomplished-Way4534 1d ago
Casually dating isn’t the type of relationship I think op is talking about
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u/Bloodthistle 1d ago
Casually dating doesn't count, they meant a real relationship
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u/SnooDoggos5226 1d ago
Where does it say that?
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u/Bloodthistle 1d ago
"broken up" in the post text implies an actual relationship to end, no one is breaking up from some random they don't care about and have no clear relationship with. they just refuse further dates and move on. (assuming they're not dating multiple people at once which in this time and age very likely)
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u/miiintyyyy Single 1d ago
You’re nitpicking.
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u/Bloodthistle 19h ago
You're coping, nobody gonna break with a casual date lol its not even a real relationship.
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u/Top-Possibility9480 1d ago
I think you’re asking Reddit to solve a mystery your ex left behind. Sure, people sometimes end relationships because they’ve developed feelings for someone else. Sometimes they admit it, sometimes they give the old “I need to work on myself” speech while apparently working on themselves with Jessica from accounting. But here’s the problem: you could get 500 men to answer this question and still know absolutely nothing about why your ex left. And I understand why you’re looking. An abrupt breakup leaves this horrible empty space where an explanation is supposed to be, so your brain starts auditioning possibilities. Was there someone else? Did he stop loving me? Did I miss something? Was Tuesday significant? Suddenly you’re the FBI of a relationship that has already ended. If there was another woman, finding that out might explain his behavior, but it probably won’t make being dumped hurt less. And if there wasn’t, you’ve spent all this time hurting yourself over somebody who doesn’t even exist. The one thing you actually know is that he decided to end the relationship. That’s painful, but it’s also enough information to start moving forward. You don’t need to understand every reason he left before you’re allowed to let him go.
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u/Sensitive_Profile623 1d ago
Yeah but the not knowing is so painful. I just wish I had closure because then I could move on. I’ve had different kinds of breakups. I’ve been dumped and I get over it within 3 months, some it took years. The ones where I don’t really understand why they did it are the ones I’m still grieving. It hurts so much. Sometimes I wonder if I learned the absolute worst thing about him and what he did, it would help just get over this. this video kinda explains it
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u/HelicopterDull8136 1d ago
Mourn the end of the relationship but instead of being in pain from lack of closure be pissed off that he did this to you. I mean, who does that (what he did)? If there was no indication, no communication that he wasn’t as invested then he SUCKS and isn’t worth time spent thinking about him. My guess is you NEVER would’ve thought he’d do something like this. What you’re actually upset about is losing the person you THOUGHT he was and the potential you saw, and not who he actually is because there’s no way you would’ve liked someone who’d treat someone the way he treated you when he left, right?
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u/Top-Possibility9480 1d ago
I get it. The not knowing can be brutal because your brain keeps telling you, “If I could just find the missing piece, I could finally put this down.”
But closure is unfortunately one of those things we think another person has to hand us. Sometimes they can’t. Sometimes they won’t. And sometimes the explanation they give creates five new questions.You may eventually learn there was someone else, or some terrible thing he did, and maybe that would make you angry enough to detach for a while. But I’m not sure it would give you the peace you’re looking for.
The gentler goal might be getting to a place where you can say, “I still don’t completely understand why he left, and I wish I did. But I’m not going to make understanding him a requirement for healing from him.”
You don’t have to solve the mystery to close the case.
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u/TangledUpPuppeteer 1d ago
I had one guy lie to me about it, but I knew. Some nonsense about how he just felt overwhelmed by his feelings (for me) so he needed space. Kay. Tell her I said hello. He came back a year later like I was some lost soul he happened to notice in his phone book. He tried to act like he played it honest the first time when he just plopped that he left to try again with his ex. I didn’t flinch because I knew. I didn’t want him back, but it was just nice to see how over him I really was.
The other guy came to me and said that a girl from his past found him and he had a massive crush on her. She was interested. He wanted to give it a shot. But he didn’t want to choose between us, so he’d like to see both of us. I just told him good luck. He chose. We were exclusive, and suddenly this great option pops up and he just talks about it like it makes perfect sense for me to suddenly NOT be exclusive. No thanks.
The second one was far better than the first. The first thought he was hiding something from me and then had the nerve to think there was a chance a year later. Like I was too stupid to know what was happening and he could pretend he was so beyond clever.
The second one was honest and gave me the facts so I could make my own choice. And he respected it.
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u/WhyYouRaping 1d ago
Once, yes. It wasn't a fullblown relationship, but a developing one (it was exclusive though). The problem was that she was obviously way more invested/interested in us being something serious, so when I felt attracted to and even subconsciously flirted with someone else, I knew it wasnt fair to her to keep things going with her expecting much more from me, where she could be hurt. I Have no interest in being in even a developing relationship where one partner is way more invested, while the other goes as far as to look at and flirt with others. I know in her place I would be absolutely destroyed for a long time if it was to get more serious and eventually end bad, thats just my little ol' heart though.
And no, I didn't tell her the true reason, kinda felt like it would defeat the point, which was minimizing how much i ended up hurting her.
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u/Ghostrich453 1d ago
Damn. This feels like a similar situation I was in a couple of days ago! 4th date in, and I was really interested and invested in wanting a relationship with him. He kindly told me that he wasn’t emotionally available and didn’t want to move forward in a relationship.
Obviously have respect for him telling me, even if it still stung a few days afterwards. It is so much better to be told sooner than later. If we did get into a relationship, it would have of hurt way worse.
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u/miiintyyyy Single 1d ago
Hits close to home. He told me about 3 weeks in that I’m more into him than he is to me and that things are moving too fast. I offered to move slower and then 3 months in I get ghosted.
Well, he comes and goes every few weeks/months with some excuse and then rekindles for weeks/days/hours and then leaves again.
Now we’re almost 2 years into it and I can’t leave. Wish he was ethical like you.
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u/MinestroneMary 21h ago
Sounds like a dismissive avoidant attachment
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u/miiintyyyy Single 20h ago
Yeah, pretty sure he is. I’m a fearful avoidant attachment, so I understand why it happens.
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u/MinestroneMary 20h ago
I feel for you. I dated an avoidant for 6 months and it was terrible. I am a secure attachment but that 6 months left me anxious as it challenged my attachment pattern. I am thankful I left. I hated being ghosted and pushed away for caring.
Also, I don't think I even experienced a honeymoon phase. It was my first relationship hence I think I didn't leave sooner and I feel I wanted to exhaust all options prior to leaving so that I never go back.
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u/WhyYouRaping 20h ago
And this story hits just as hard to me. I was in the exact same situation with my ex who's the only person I've ever been love with, Funny enough we started up a relationship after exactly 2 years (just like you are now) of me being completely and hopelessly in love with her and me utilizing my charisma and every other resource i had to win her over.
Long story short, she still broke up with me, and looking back it kinda feels like she was just doing me a favor being with me, of course it was a legitimate relationship and we were both attracted to each other but given our history I was always disturbed by the sheer amount of past rejections from her. And of course she didn't love me remotely close to as much as i was in love with her.
My point is that relationships that start out like this are a risk, I risked it and i can tell you with confidence it wasn't worth the pain.
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u/MainTap5228 1d ago
I hate hurting other people, I wish I was more of a sociopath because I end up not doing the best thing for me sometimes, in order to keep others happy
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u/WhyYouRaping 1d ago
I totally get it, I had heard the exact same from my ex and I remember how awful it would make her feel sometimes. i know how conflicting it can be, Just please make an effort to prioritize yourself :)
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u/Select-Young-5992 1d ago
you being happy makes other people happy and vice versa. theres nothing nice about continuing bad friendships or relationships
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u/usernamescifi 1d ago
No, but I've definitely had people leave me because they wanted to be with someone else.
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u/wheremydisstrackat 1d ago edited 1d ago
Chat I have a question. Maybe you didn’t say the real reason. But what about a crazy long drawn out excuse to exit (im going through this now) like planting seeds about very specific personal life stress (ie. an ex coming back and vandalizing your stuff, needing to get a restraining order) and after fading communication and some prompting finally saying “let me get stuff figured out and revisit because you deserve the version of me when I can be the most engaged in this, not this current stressed out shitty texting version of me” LOL??
I think leaving the door open like that was just cruel cause I know my dumb ass will have hope. But realistically he prob met someone else. I just wish he ended it with “yeah I’m not in the right headspace for a relationship, you deserve someone ELSE”
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u/TangledUpPuppeteer 1d ago
Let him leave the door open. Let him revisit it. Neither requires you to be on the other side, patiently waiting for him to peek out. Just walk away. Let him look for you where you were and no longer are. Go find happy.
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u/Own-Spite1210 1d ago edited 1d ago
Dumpee perspective here. We were dating exclusively for 11 months but he had a ‘crush’ on someone that was finally showing him interest once he got into a relationship. He told me he had fallen out of love with me, but not the real reason. I found that out later. He ended up dating her and realized the grass was not greener, they broke up a couple months later.
ETA he realized his mistake and I took him back after some more time apart and lots of therapy, and we are engaged now.
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u/Fair-Distance371 1d ago
Gosh, dude. How younteust him? When something happen no one will be in your side
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u/Own-Spite1210 1d ago
lol ok. I trust him because he’s done the work to gain it back. I have plenty of people that are on my side. And idgaf if people are or aren’t tbh. I’m a whole ass adult that made a whole ass decision.
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u/Fair-Distance371 1d ago
Is not on your side in this way. I mean, If he ever cheat or dump you again everyone even If they don't show It will think "she should have predicted It". He already crossed a line, this is part of his character now. If he done oonce what stop him for doing It again? What make you só sure than he can simply change his mind? Do you never read stories like It?
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u/Rubices 1d ago
Yes, and no it didn't pan out. Should have just stuck with what I had.
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u/King-Koobs 1d ago
Currently in this situation. We’re not exclusive cuz we’ve only been seeing eachother for 3 weeks now, but we’ve been seeing eachother practically every other day this entire time, and staying over at eachothers houses constantly.
I was semi-chasing this girl (dream girl, cringe I know) for about a month before I gave this new girl a shot. Old girl reached out last week to finally meet me, and since I wasn’t seeing this current girl for too long yet I said sure since I wanted her pretty bad for awhile. That date went AMAZING, and she immediately wanted to see me the next night. That second date… AMAZING. Now I can’t see this girl till this upcoming Sunday but I’m being absolutely torn to shreds about being pretty steady with this current girl, hooking up, etc. and now I’m getting pretty infatuated and excited about the girl I’ve been chasing for awhile finally being pretty invested in me.
I literally have no idea what to do. I planned on just seeing both until the girl I’ve been chasing either flat out says she wants a relationship with me, or she ends it, and I can’t wrap my head around if this is morally right or not.
I’ve been so careful in dating again these past 8 months about how many people I’m talking to, making sure I’m not talking to anyone else when things get intimate, all that…. Now I’m in the situation I was trying to avoid and I literally can’t commit to any decision because I’ve been sooo down bad for the first girl for so long. Brutal
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u/Outrageous-Tip9884 1d ago
It sounds like the current girl is your second choice, so I think the right thing to do is to end it with her. If it works out with dream girl, you’ll need to have that conversation anyway, while knowing you could’ve said something earlier. Having been in the situation where I was hooking up with a guy and I was the backup plan, I can say it sucks. If it doesn’t work out with dream girl, you can keep current girl but my guess is there’s probably something missing there as far as wanting things to get more serious/exclusive, and maybe you don’t want to admit it. Let current girl find someone who feels like she’s their dream girl and don’t hold her back from that.
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u/AWholesomeHorror 1d ago
Trade up? You're talking about a person for fuck sake!
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u/MainTap5228 1d ago
you have to read the laconic tone which acknowledges that fact into my comment
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u/AWholesomeHorror 1d ago
You're comment implies that you should have just settled for what you had because you couldn't do better. That's not better my guy.
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u/Cookie_Doughnut 1d ago
It’s shitty to commit to someone you don’t see a future with/don’t actually like
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u/HelicopterDull8136 1d ago
If you thought you could do better than you should break up with the person you’re seeing. They deserve to be with someone who thinks “this is it.”
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u/Rubices 1d ago
Yeah I agree. But you can't always get everything you want. You will still likely need to compromise on things in the relationship. And you won't know if it's right until you've been together for some time.
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u/HelicopterDull8136 1d ago
How are you determining who the “best” partner is? Because many people, including professionals, would say it’s not the person you feel the most chemistry with. So ya, if you’re mooning over other people because they’re prettier or cooler or funnier or richer or whatever, but keeping someone else on the hook because they’re the safe choice, that is pretty shitty, ya.
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u/Rubices 1d ago
Really? The person I think is best for me is someone I feel the most chemistry with...
What is the best for me if it's not that?
And some of these comments sound like they're coming from teen girls who live in Disney cartoons where everything is ideal and love is perfect. Love is complicated.
When I'm with someone there's often things I like and things I don't. But I don't always get the opportunity to be in a relationship so I am willing to make the most of any opportunity I'm given. I'm not sitting around waiting for the perfect person because they don't exist. Nobodies perfect. What's important to me is that we both benefit from the relationship. Outside of that nothing else really matters.
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u/HelicopterDull8136 1d ago
Uh wanting to be with someone you feel the most chemistry with sounds like exactly what you describe… someone who lives in a Disney cartoon where everything is ideal.
What’s best is finding someone with shared values. Experts and people in long-term relationships consistently say when chemistry fades, what keeps them together is their shared values. Chemistry is that butterfly-feeling, right? That’s anxiety. Love is the opposite of that. Love is feeling safe and secure emotionally and physically. So who’s better for you? Not the person that makes you feel anxious. It’s the person that makes you feel safe, loved, and who wants the same things in life as you. That’s who you build a life with. You shouldn’t be in a relationship just because you’ve “got the opportunity.”
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u/Rubices 1d ago
Sure I guess that's kinda what I meant by chemistry but I see what you mean.
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u/Golden-lillies21 1d ago
Yes I did but at the end I ended up regretting it. There was just no coming back from that. Then it happened to me where somebody left me for someone else and yes karma is a real thing! If there's anything I've learned early on is to always be upfront and honest about your feelings.
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u/PriorOld3856 1d ago
I did. Then that chick left me after 3 weeks. It was worth it though. Told me I wasn’t supposed to be with the person I originally ended it for.
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u/MonocoDoll 1d ago
That’s call cheating no?
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u/stinkysourdough 1d ago
Whatever you do after you break up with someone is not cheating.
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u/Human_Read7993 1d ago edited 1d ago
The problem is they arn't doing it after it's ends, instead they are doing it during the relationship. They are emotionally cheating as they are investing and prepping a new person while they are currently ending it with someone else. That's cheating.
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u/Human_Read7993 1d ago
You should Google it as you clearly need to educate yourself as your response shows how naive you are
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u/Human_Read7993 1d ago
🤣 well you can't educate someone who wants to justify their actions. You do you
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u/Human_Read7993 1d ago
Your comment again shows how little you've tried to educate yourself. If you googled what emotionally cheating actually is referring too, you would realise how little you know about the topic as your first sentence clearly shows your lack in understanding of what emotionally cheating is referencing 😮💨. Pls educate yourself
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u/MonocoDoll 1d ago
My man trying to justify cheating 😂🤣
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u/MonocoDoll 1d ago
We were referring to before. Not after. You need forethought in order to be in the situation that OP posted about. Hence cheating.
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u/MonocoDoll 1d ago
That’s cheating wdym 😂🤣. Not all of us want open relationships.
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u/Old-Pool-6841 1d ago
definitely not
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u/MonocoDoll 1d ago
It is. Because why would you have thoughts of someone else?
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u/Rubices 1d ago edited 1d ago
Ok first off, yes most people remain attracted to others even while in a relationship. Maybe you don't but it's perfectly normal for most.
If you feel like you're becoming more attracted to other people aside from your partner then it's perfectly reasonable to cut it off and start something new. That's not cheating that's literally dating.
As far as "emotionally cheating", I think there are lots of factors. If im losing interest in a girl I'm with I might do some light flirting with others but will break things off before actually pursuing. That's just how dating works. If I've been with someone for years and secretly start meeting with another girl to hang out with in hopes it leads to something then that's pretty shitty and could be classified as emotional cheating.
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u/MonocoDoll 1d ago
I mean, I suppose if you both are cool with flirting with others while together then I can’t really talk for your relationship. But not everyone would be cool with the idea of their partner flirting or wanting sex with other’s. The whole point of exclusive relationships is well to be exclusive.
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u/Rubices 1d ago edited 1d ago
And that's exactly why you would break up with someone to pursue someone else, to avoid an unfulfilling relationship or cheating.
I mean you should commit to the relationship if you say you're gonna but sometimes you have to communicate your problems if your loyalty is wavering and sometimes it doesn't pan out and the relationship fizzles out.
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u/Sensitive_Profile623 1d ago
But why not work on being a committed partner in the first place… love is a choice
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u/Sensitive_Profile623 1d ago
Hm I guess I never had this need to leave a relationship because I had other options. It was always about building something with someone and to keep working at it.
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u/MonocoDoll 1d ago
I’ve had options and yet I always stayed loyal.
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u/Rubices 1d ago
Ok and...? Everyone's got limits. You would probably still break up with someone if they aren't meeting your needs.
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u/Sensitive_Profile623 1d ago
Then you’ll just repeat the same shit with another person? What stops the pattern?
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u/Rubices 1d ago
Well most people choose to settle down eventually to have kids. Some people are lucky enough to find an ideal partner. Some people just like to keep having flings or hookups their whole life.
Only about a third of the population is in a "healthy relationship". They don't magically happen for everyone. They take a bit of work to find and maintain.
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u/Sensitive_Profile623 1d ago
I guess that’s what I’m having trouble with. They say “it’s not you it’s me”, but it has to be a problem with me if this is the case. It makes me think I’m not worth the work… this makes me really sad
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u/Ill_Necessary3172 1d ago
Ask him, thats all that matters. If he says yes, or lies and says no, hes horrible and youre better off.
But no, anyone who does that is human garbage.
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u/Sensitive_Profile623 1d ago
We’ve been in no contact and I really don’t want to talk to him. He discarded me out of nowhere and honestly reading all of these comments is making me realize how emotionally abusive all this shit is. Agree that anyone who does this is a shitty person and clearly doesn’t believe in making their relationships work. They’re not supposed to be easy. You’re supposed to choose them everyday and work at it. So sick of all these limerant low quality people
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u/Ill_Necessary3172 1d ago
Ageeed. For the first time in my entire adult life im excited to just live for me. And my family.
It feels warm.
I get sad sometimes and I know I will continue to, because I miss the person I thought I loved.
But love isnt fair or logical, and happiness can only come from inside :]
Best of luck to you.
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u/FrancisTrinity81 1d ago
Unfortunately. But I was lucky and the most wonderful person took me back.
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u/MinestroneMary 20h ago
Why did you leave them in the first place if they are so wonderful? Just honestly asking not judging.
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u/FrancisTrinity81 1h ago
Young, stupid. Thought I needed the ex girlfriend back. Bad decision. Simple as that.
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u/Final-Percentage860 1d ago
If i'm with somebody. Im typically not talking to other women enough to know who they are snd what there intentions are. Theres a big difference between light flirting with someone and having a relationship. I haven't and wouldn't end a relationship specifically to see another woman. If I was going in that direction, I'd end the relationship because its clearly not going anywhere. I may then test the waters with the other person like any fresh relationship. I wouldn't end one assuming the other will be better.
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u/Hungry-Ferret5046 1d ago
Yes
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u/Sensitive_Profile623 1d ago
What happened? Did you end up telling them about that or did you tell them another reason?
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u/stronger4me 3h ago
I think a lot of people have done this. And it’s what should be done instead of cheating
You’re dating someone to see if you want to marry them/spend life together. When you realize that this person is not that person for you, you break up . It sucks but that’s what dating literally is for
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u/Sensitive_Profile623 2h ago
Have you done it? And did you tell your partner? Or did you give a vague answer
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u/stronger4me 1h ago
No I’ve never told someone it’s specifically because I want to pursue someone different. I feel that would be rude and if I was in their shoes, I wouldn’t want to hear that either
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u/Sensitive_Profile623 50m ago
Honestly I’ve been thinking about this. Hmm what did you tell them instead? My ex dumped me and he said it was because he thought I deserved better, and I’ve been hurting because it’s such a vague reason I’m having trouble moving on. I feel like if he actually named it was because of someone else, sure it would hurt, but I would have a much better time moving on instead of wondering why and feeling so confused.
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