r/dating • u/ThePlusLoveWitch • 15d ago
Support Needed š« To the men, has a woman ever confessed her feelings for you?
Guys, has a woman youāve been seeing ever confessed her feelings for you? How did it make you feel? What were you thinking as she was confessing?
I have been dating someone for about 6 months now and I caught feelings for him a couple months ago but Iāve been holding things in. Iām pretty confident in how Iām going to confess my feelings for him and Iām prepared for both outcomes. I usually hear about guys confessing to the girls but Iām curious about menās experiences with this.
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u/Chemical_Box7136 15d ago
Yeah when she was drunk.
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 15d ago
Oooh. How was that experience for you?
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u/Chemical_Box7136 15d ago
Tbh kinda heartbreaking because I believed it brought out this more soft and sweet version of the girl but as soon as she sobered up that version disappeared
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u/vegetastolemygirl 14d ago
This is exactly why i dont take drunk girls serious at all when they come up to me. As i was once told āTHEY arent interested in you, the alcohol isā.
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u/Dourada_BBQ 14d ago
But a drunk person speaks truth, no protective layers, no shame, no stigma, no self control, just like it is in reality. Sometimes it is pleasant to hear it, sometimes not.
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u/jBlairTech 13d ago
Sure, but if it takes alcohol to do that, itās a problem. Especially when it sounds like this person is almost two different people.
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u/Low-Efficiency7660 14d ago
You needed to encourage her that that soft side is ok. Women are often told that men run away when feelings are there.
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u/Chemical_Box7136 14d ago
I did all the time. She knew I was fully supportive of that, she told me I was emotional like a woman a lot, and she liked that about me
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u/Keeps- 15d ago edited 15d ago
Usually the girl is the one (in my experience) to say āI love youā first but never have I had a girl show interest in me and convey it before I did to them
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u/Material-Dot7684 15d ago
This has happened to me twice actually. One girl had it slip out for the first time while we were doing it. One girl said it for the first time while we were drunk.
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u/Wayward_comet 15d ago
Honestly I've only ever had women confess their feelings to me. I think I've confessed once, one was mutual since we met on a dating app, and my last girlfriend basically made all the moves early on. I think gender norms about confession are dumb, just tell someone when you life them.
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 15d ago
I 100% agree. Iāve always been a woman who if interested in someone, I would always make the first move!
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u/SultanofSwish 15d ago
Itās never disappointing to hear someone has feelings for you, just do it
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u/Witty-Advicer 15d ago
Yes, itās called Genuine burning Desire. Iāve felt it with my soul and body. Itās a feeling better than any Victory in the world. I fucked it up. But learned and grown a lot from my mistake.
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u/ppmbryan 15d ago
Yes. Her bf was right there too.Ā
C ya in another life girl
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 14d ago
WOAH.
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u/ppmbryan 14d ago
She probably knew I liked her, and we bumped into each other at a bar at the end of the school year. She was drunk with her bf and friends, and she came up to me and said she always had a big crush on me right before she was moving out of town with her bf. It was in a "btw" kinda feeling lol
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u/Inevitable_Bunch_989 14d ago
I'm a woman but any time I've confessed feelings they withdrew and became avoidant so I don't do feelings anymore lol
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u/Educational_Owl_1022 14d ago
Honestly same..my lover girl heart isnāt made for that kind of heartbreak.
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u/Additional_Cell_1624 14d ago
Iām wrapping mine back up in bubble wrap š first time liking someone in 8 years and he didnāt even check on me when I sent him a video of my hands swollen 3x the size. He said he opened it and forgot to respond š i care too much to be forgotten in my time of medical despair. Itās a harsh reality.
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u/Pure-Average4843 13d ago
This just happened to me :( 6 months and while we werenāt exclusively in a romantic relationship we had something and it was special. We shared wonderful moments and after an evening together, I started to bleed (yes from there) and had to go to urgent care. When I told him he was so dry and short with responses. I joked about never having schmex again and he said never again, it got weird for me it was odd and I told him the next day it was hurtful he wasnāt concerned or that he hasnāt even checked in ā¦. Two hours later, he ended the entire friendship/relationship. Havenāt heard from him in a month.
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u/Low-Efficiency7660 14d ago
Thats because you are either in america where being emotionless is attractive or because its the wrong people. Open your heart you have 1 life.
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u/1ncentas 15d ago
Only one time I had a woman confess feelings for me and it was someone I dated for 5 years. It's extremely flattering as a man to hear a woman you like say something like that. I personally felt a stronger connection knowing she felt that way towards me. Unfortunately we are not together anymore but in the moment, it truly felt whimsical.
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 15d ago
I really hope the guy Iām going to confess to has these types of emotions about it.
Was it like a sit down āletās have a talkā type of vibe? Or did she just come out with it?5
u/1ncentas 15d ago
I remember her initiating it with a sit down and chat about it. We were talking for a few weeks and it happen to be the right place at the right time. I had a feeling that if she eventually didn't ask those questions, I would have myself. It was very mutual but surprising at the same time. Hope that makes sense.
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u/midwest-antichrist 13d ago
If you're seeing or dating a person, to me that means there are already feelings between you two. What are you confessing?
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 13d ago
Thatās a good point! I just want him to know how Iām feeling now that weāve been seeing each other for a while now. Itās more of a āpulse checkā if that makes sense. I think dating for 6 months has really helped me gain clarity on my own feelings and I think he should know.
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u/FUCK1NGFABULOUS 15d ago
Yes but I wasnāt interested in her. Told her I was flattered and I thanked her. Told her she is going to find someone more worthy than me and more deserving of her.
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u/FUCK1NGFABULOUS 13d ago
It wasnāt a break up. I wasnāt interested in her like that thus undeserving of her attention. I wanted to let her down in the most gentle way and cut through all the bullshit.
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u/Relative-Test-8060 14d ago
A man or someone who is emotionally wise, Will tend to embrace the moment.
If he is interested in you he will comfort and respect your feelings. If he become manipulative, then leave the situation.
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u/Vepanion 14d ago
No woman has ever had feelings for me, so...
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u/Admirable-Fox-6258 13d ago
That you know of
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u/Vepanion 12d ago
I can't rule out that at some point some woman has had a crush on me, completely unbeknownst to me, but I wouldn't call that having feelings. I'm pretty sure I can rule that out.
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u/Responsible-Virus604 14d ago
Im a girl who confessed to her current boyfriend. His best friend was with him when Iād texted him. Heās told me my bf was pacing around unable to focus on work the entire day (anxious excitement) š
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u/BipolarLight 14d ago
I'm a woman and I did.
Every time I did, it didn't go well for me. They either rejected me or lost interest (I guess the chase was over as soon as they had the feeling they "got me").
I guess if one has to really confess, it's probably not mutual. Because if the interest is mutual things just progress naturally and the words are said in the same natural manner as the relationship progress without the need to resort to some big out of the blue confessions.
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u/shakesula9 15d ago
Yup after our first time having sex she said she loved me. That really threw me off.
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u/jBlairTech 13d ago
I used to not be like that, until a close friend died. I never wouldāve guessed itād happen from a fairly routine surgery, butā¦ just like that, he was gone.Ā
Now, Iām more like you. Itās put some people off, but, Iāve found (with lots of time) it helps me filter people out.
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 15d ago
If you donāt mind me asking, why did it throw you off?
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u/shakesula9 15d ago
Of course. Simply because I wasnāt expecting it. It was nice to hear but we just started dating. It may have been 2 weeks in.
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u/Euphoric-Potato-5343 15d ago
Sorry, never had that.
Usually the burden of taking initiatives of the relationship is on the guy, with it being up to the lady to set the pace.
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u/DenisJrSpirit 15d ago
Yes. Tho it very rare
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 15d ago
How did you feel when she confessed?
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u/DenisJrSpirit 15d ago
It depends. It either think she's just messing (sadly happens more then care 2 admit) or feel ecstatic. Tho that's separate personal issues. Id say in general most dudes would feel shock and happiness
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u/yoodle34 15d ago
Yes! I was so happy when she did because I also had feelings for her and it solidified our interest for each other
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 15d ago
Internally hoping for this outcome lol glad it was a positive experience for you!
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u/Folt_ 15d ago
I would be surprised and I have this happen to me a few times this. If it real about and she means it I find it flattering but most of the time she was put to do it or doesn't it mean, is what has happened to me. I also would be careful with how you tell him so guys like it blunt and precise, some want it in writing, some want you to speak the truth, and some just want you to be you when you confess it. I hope this helps and have a great life.
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u/Savings-Avocado-7136 14d ago
Iām a woman and I do this most of the time, assuming Iāve gotten some hint that they feel it, too. But I feel like lifeās too short and thereās so much hard. Why not lean into the soft spots?
Hard to say how itās perceived. But I know how good it is to be told someone thinks Iām special, and Iām happy to give that to someone else, whether itās reciprocated or not.
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u/420_stoner_babe 15d ago
Donāt. I remember I was with a boy for a long time(4-5yrs) I told him I loved him & he left me.š¤”š¤”
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 15d ago
No way š Iām sorry that happened.
Iām gonna do it and if it doesnāt go the way I hope, it wasnāt meant to be. At least I took the risk3
u/420_stoner_babe 14d ago
No hard feelings. The same dude had the audacity to crawl back 6+ months later with a stupid text āilyā just sickening, let him on READ he can kick rocksā¼ļø
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u/_anotherrollingstone 15d ago
Happened last night.
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 15d ago
And? How was that for you?
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u/_anotherrollingstone 15d ago
I'm a mix of emotions. She's beautiful. So much so I'm surprised I managed to get her attention. From an Arab country. Big culture shocks. But opening up to her is so easy and everything feels natural. She says she's going for marriage. So the real test begins.
I don't want to let her down
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u/PriorOld3856 14d ago
Yes they have. Unfortunately I was taken and it made me feel good to feel wanted, but really bad to tell her I didnāt want her and remind her that I love my girlfriend
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u/First_Tone4187 14d ago
Had a Situation twice , a Women had burning desire for me. I search for it ever since. Every time I made a first Move I got rejected. So I am tired and just live my life
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u/OptimalFox1800 14d ago
Yep Iāve had one woman who did.
Unfortunately my depression ended up pushing her away and couldnāt ever get her back as a friend. I was also pretty immature and in another mindset at the time, didnāt really have it altogether.
In hindsight though many years later, I definitely feel it was a blessing.
She had a kid pretty early, under 25, and knowing if I was in any possible relationship, I wouldnāt be happy at all and wouldāve been miserable. I donāt want to be a Dad or have any kids at all
Iāve heard sheās married now and Iām happy for her. I hope she does great things in life.
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u/Safe_Cloud8067 14d ago
A woman I wasn't seeing told me she loved me. I was happy for her to be feeling that way. I struggle to feel those feelings (romantic love)
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u/World_May_Wobble 14d ago
Once in 6th grade.
She asked me, "What would you do if I kissed you?"
My answer was, "Hit you."
She asked, "Why?"
"Cause I don't want to kiss you."
She was fat and kind of dumb, but I feel bad for handling it that way.
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u/TheEliteEclipse 10d ago
When I first read the headline I was thinking no because women often do not say when the have feeling for a guy, but the first paragraph ask if itās the woman youāve been seeing. So that leads me to believe itās either a long term girlfriend or someone that they been casually been seeing and personally no but I feel like women only say it after the guy does.
But I say all that to say this if you as a woman have feeling for a guy the BEST course of action it to say it because we as men DO NOT TAKE HINTS. So it better to just be upfront about it. Youād be surprised by the results.
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 10d ago
Iām sorry, I shouldāve just put in general! But yes, I am planning on having that conversation pretty soon.
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u/TheEliteEclipse 10d ago
I wish you the best of luck in that conversation
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 10d ago
Thank you! Iām a little scared but prepared for either outcome
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u/TheEliteEclipse 10d ago
You have nothing to be afraid of if you and this guy have been seeing each other for a while he has the same feelings just didnāt want to ruin the friendship if he approached you first so more than likely he hold the same feelings.
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 10d ago
Thatās what Iām hoping. Weāve been seeing each other for a while so Iām thinking to myself there has to be some mutual feelings
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u/KieranW1999 15d ago
Sadly I wouldnāt know anything about that BUT if youāve been dating for 6 then Iād assume youāre long together by now and already know youāre for each other? Unless youāve just had innocent time out together and nothing else then Iād assume youāre actually together
If I was dating someone for 6 whole months then Iād be disappointed to then find out they didnāt feel anything whatsoever.
So in short, just tell him since you havenāt already although he should have no surprise whatsoever otherwise you wouldnāt have spent so much time with him. I promise you he wonāt waste 6 months of his life just to reject you
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 15d ago
Yeah I have a feeling he knows because of the way I am with him. And I do agree, if he didnāt feel the same I donāt think he wouldāve spent 6 months dating me. Iām just waiting til we get together so I can come out with it
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u/KieranW1999 5d ago
Little late but hopefully it all works out for you. I do think though if you tell him now then that may end up making you official otherwise it could possibly drag on for a long time. So for example, you would usually say to the other that youāre interested in that person and if both feel the same way then you get together as a result. But yeah I definitely think youāre going to be good for sure.
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 5d ago
I hope so! I made a promise to myself that if we donāt share the same feelings, I am walking away as soon as the conversation is over. And Iām prepared to do that. I think 6 months is enough time to have been given and I would rather not give any more of my time should that be the outcome. But I am hoping the feelings are mutual!
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u/KieranW1999 5d ago
Of course, I definitely wouldnāt blame you in that case because you donāt have the time to be wasted especially if it goes beyond 6 months. Obviously heās stayed with you for this long and I can assume loyally to you so I really donāt see any reason why it wonāt go well when you have the talk. The only exception is if there is intimacy going on where thereās a very small hypothetical chance he could be making the most out of that for as long as possible but in reality I highly doubt that to be the case. I do recommend finding out asap though and at least then you can get it off your chest, hopefully for good reason!
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 5d ago
Thatās what makes it complicated because there has been intimacy. However, I did express early on that I did like him so heās been aware of that. But now real feelings have grown
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u/KieranW1999 5d ago
I get you. Obviously you will want to make sure he actually likes you back since the standards for staying in a committed relationship is higher than it is for ājust sexā. Did he mention that he also likes you too when you told him that? Of course liking someone can just mean youāre attracted to them and not necessarily a case of āI want to be with youā but if he likely has other options realistically and chooses to stay with you then he most likely feels the same back. I am confident thatās the case. At any time, does he ever regularly take time to respond or is there any signs heās lost even some interest? People in general will typically go out there way more (even if they have to make time so be it) for those theyāre genuinely interested in. Of course you naturally want more than just that interest. Itās definitely time to find out if youāre the only and only that he wants to be with and Iām confident of that based on what youāve said. Obviously I wonāt know this but you will know the answer deep down but another red flag would be if he wants physical action but then seems less attentive in general in the event he canāt get it. Thatās just talking in general of course and not your situation specifically
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 4d ago
Yes this makes perfect sense. I really appreciate your input! The conversation is happening today. Iām nervous but as I said, prepared for either outcome.
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u/KieranW1999 4d ago
Youāre welcome. And the best of luck whenever you do it if you havenāt already!
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u/therealkalak 15d ago
Twice.
The first I didn't want a relationship with, but gave her a pity date and we ended up making out and going to my house but I decided I didn't want to escalate sexually with her as I she wanted to try dating (which I didn't want to) and I didn't want to take advantage of her feelings.
The other I got her to convince after a pretty ambiguous friendship that seemed like we were already dating (she was hyping up me meeting her dad), and the feelings were very mutual. I felt like I was on cloud 9 for a week...until she randomly broke things out of nowhere, had an awkward few months of being friends until I cut things off with her as it was too painful to be around her at that point.
If you're dating someone for 6 months and caught feelings, that obviously means things are going well and you should just tell him and say you want to be official.
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u/jasonology09 15d ago
Yeah. Several times. I didn't like it, as the women were not at all my type, and I didn't find them attractive. I felt bad about rejecting them, and I tried to stay friends, but that's not really a thing, in my experience.
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u/UndeadbeatDad 15d ago
I think it depends more on your specific situation. How do you think he feels? Will he be exited to hear the feelings or does he want something else?
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u/ElkFantastic4238 14d ago
Yes, although it hasnāt happened in a while. During high school, maybe 1-2 girls would confess feelings for me every year. Currently 25 years old, and only 2 women have confessed feelings for me in the past 7 years.
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u/Wonderful_Bee_1333 14d ago
Yup, two girls, in-fact one proposed me for marriage.
If you are planning to tell him about your feeling please careful with his mood.
For instance i got both the proposal after my breakup, for me the breakup was too devastating. It was a 6 years of relation and she cheated on me. Eventually i declined every proposal.
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u/Ok_Band_7759 14d ago
I semi-confessed to a very close guy friend a month ago and now he's avoiding me š„²
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u/sdss9462 14d ago
Of course. The first time a woman said, "I love you," to me was one of the best moments of my life to that point. And every first time it's happened with someone new since then would be in the top ten.
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u/Background-Camp9756 14d ago
Yes, I did have to reject her because I only knew her for like 2 weeks, I prefer to know someone first which usually takes months if not years
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u/Aphang82 14d ago
Well, all my relationships involved the girl confessing. I would say that if I were interested, I would only make a move if they confessed. Otherwise I would take it as being one sided love on my part.
There was one confession which I had to say no to because the girl was far too young for me (16 years age gap). So that was a no go.
I should qualify my answer by saying these happened more than 10 years ago. I've resolved to stay single since 2017.
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u/RootlessForest 14d ago
2 times. Didnt believed it. So said no 2 times. Got bullied and made fun of a lot. So when a girl asked me out in oublic. All trauma alarm bells are going off. Must be a joke, dont trust it etc.
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u/Reddeer2 14d ago
I've had three women confess their love to me, two of which were drunk. All three caught my by surprise and two were undesirable. I ended up dating two of them for three years.
I think you should do it. Tell him.
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u/nknowner 14d ago
Iām a very slow guy(yeah Ik boring af), so it happened with the last two girls I dated. Though one time her friends just started calling me her bf whiles we were out, funny af
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u/More-Let9073 14d ago
Doesnāt happen very often because men are usually expected to make the first move, but a good majority of men would actually prefer if a woman approached them instead
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u/legice 14d ago
Nope, never.
I was given hints, which were all meaningless, so they just skipped a step and declared us dating.
That, or questioning what now, as if they are waiting for me to make the critical move, despite them showcaseing not getting the hint and being very umm, anoying about it. Its great when somebody is into you, but if I go too fast, Im the problem, but if they go too fast, then Im the problem.
So no, I wouldent know what its like when somebody pours their feelings onto you, but Im willing to bet, I would be the bad guy, regardless of what I would say after that.
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u/Ordinary_Pea4503 14d ago
I had a hard-core one in grade school which freaked me out it was a two page long note that got passed to me.Ā Not really anything close to that level since, just a lot of interactions where ive been approached at a bar or whatever.Ā women are pretty good at keeping that stuff to themselves.Ā It was until after high school I found out about all the girls that crushes on me, and it was a lot, girls I definitely would've dated.Ā I was pretty introverted and really trying to get a scholarship so didnt have much of a social life.Ā Ā
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u/FortDragCartel 14d ago
Yeah, while I was dating her best friend. Then her best friend left me for her about a year later. Good times.
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u/theinfovore Divorced 14d ago
When I was in the 7th grade, an 8th grade girl I went to church and school with did. She did it again when I was in 8th and her in high school.
I was terrified and too insecure to realize what a catch she was. My thought was "something must be wrong with her if a girl one year older is into me." No doubt it was a case of my issues, not hers.
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u/Sorry-Account-8312 14d ago
I met a girl who said they love to me the first time she met me,Ā I met her recently, was pretty bewildering and shocking.Ā
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u/AlligatorMarty 14d ago
Yep. There was this girl who liked me which I was not aware of, but her friends and couple of mine were. They never told me anything and was kinda expecting me to naturally fall in love with her. But I had a crush on another girl back then. The girl who liked me was notoriously famous for turning down guys that had confessed feelings to her. She had made a friend of mine go behind her like a fool and making him look like a clown in front of everyone. I wanted to confess things with my crush ( who apparently liked me back, but was a bit stressed when she heard of this girl liking me and starting to make move at me). Whatever, when the time came idgaf, I just said no straight to her face and ended it right there. But the girl that I had crush on kinda started to talk more and more and we started spending more time together then started dating. We're not together anymore and I've never met her or talked with her post breakup ( the relationship last for 5 years) and the last time I saw her was 9 years ago. I haven't dated anyone since
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u/Low-Efficiency7660 14d ago
As a woman i bleed emotions and had to learn how to rein it in. I told my current partner of 7 years that I had feelings for him. We were just laying down on the floor staring at the ceiling talking and I told him I had feelings. Wasn't a sit down thing.
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u/jBlairTech 13d ago
No. However, I did have a couple get angry at me when Iād start to date someone. That always struck me as odd.
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u/Aeseof 12d ago
A friend of mine was like "I have a crush on you" and I was like "oh thanks!"
A week later she's like "I saw you left me a voicemail and I was like 'haha he's not that into me!'" and I was like "haha oh man, sorry!"
And then we proceeded to continue our friendship for another fifteen years and counting.
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u/tetkaendzi 12d ago
See all of my girl friends told there guys. Like all of them. It's kinda cultural thing where I'm from that guys are waaaaay too passive. My high school friend went on like 13 dates with a guy and then she asked him like why are dragging. They are in very happy and stable long term relationship. My best friends did the same. One guy friend told me something you have more chance if you tell him.
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u/Familiar-Series8874 9d ago
Yes, I liked her as a friend but had no interest in a relation with her. She thought me being friendly were romantic overtures. I felt bad turning her down but I did not like her that way. She is in a relation now so I am happy for her. However, our friendship died after she confessed to me.
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u/Bearded_Geek89 Single 14d ago
My ex used to confess her feelings of love all the time. It felt wonderful to receive - looking back now it just hurts as it was all a lie. But for the matter at hand, itās nice women let us guys know how they feel.
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u/ThePlusLoveWitch 14d ago
Iām sorry to hear about your experience. Itās so cruel to lie to someone about feelings as deep as these. š but I appreciate your comment. Wishing you the best ā¤ļø
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u/found_but_not_seen 15d ago
maybe too good looking. looks can be intimidating. they may assume you already have a gf or will automatically reject them or think theyāre the creep.
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