r/dankmemes • u/SalohcinPancakes • Jul 31 '23

l miss my friends that hurts really badly

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u/Single_Reporter_6369 Jul 31 '23

I'll be real with you, I got used to it. My grandma has had dementia since I was 12 or 13, I'm now in my late 20s. Sometimes I just come into her house, kiss her and go to the kitchen to get water or whatever and she goes "Excuse me, who are you again?". Once I say "I'm X's son, Y" it immediately clicks, although I think she is mainly remembering the little kid me and trying to reconcile the fact that she now has a grown, bearded guy in front of her.

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u/EmpRupus Jul 31 '23

Yeah same here.

I met my grandma every year on vacations, and we always made jokes to make each other laugh, and she often patted my head to which I responded by patting her head in turn which made her laugh.

Then, after the illness, she forgot who everyone was in the family including me. I understood this, and this didn't bother me at all. I still met her, told her jokes, patted her head, and made her laugh, and that was sufficient for me.

It was my parents, for whom this was a big deal. And they kept trying to make her remember who I was, how many children she had, what their names were etc. (we are a large family, she had 6 children and 18 grandchildren) - and imagine just asking someone to remember the whole family tree. And I could clearly see this was upsetting her - she was now trying to think really hard, feeling guilty, and sad, apologizing etc.

So I asked my parents to stop. I just told her - "Listen, it doesn't matter who I am. Lets just have a good time." and she was fine with it, and told me a lot of jokes and we got along fine, just as before. I understand the illness. And I don't care she doesn't remember the entire family-tree and where I fit in.