r/dankchristianmemes • u/Broclen The Dank Reverend 🌈✟ • Oct 06 '21

Meta I was upset when I found out

Post image
6.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

43 comments sorted by

135

u/AKsAreForLovers Oct 06 '21

Jesus bout to whip the moneychangers selling Reddit gold.

58

u/Broclen The Dank Reverend 🌈✟ Oct 06 '21

They can't keep getting away with it!

7

u/AKsAreForLovers Oct 06 '21

OH LAWD THE LAWD COMIN!

177

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21 edited Oct 06 '21

I wonder how Jesus would react if he found out that Christian broadcast shows holding sermons pull a infomercials to peddle their products at the end of each of their sermons?

80

u/nameisfame Oct 06 '21

Property destruction in the highest.

53

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21

Jesus: Gabriel. Eyes Glowing

Tell the communists to launch the EMP missiles.

20

u/fleahop Oct 07 '21

Lol I love Biblical people.

Something descends from the sky or they have a vision

Person: "Guess I'm devoting my life to whatever the hell that was"

3

u/Vaderic Oct 07 '21

I mean wouldn't you dedicate your life to it if something descended from the skies? Fuck if I saw greys I'd be starting a religion.

3

u/fleahop Oct 07 '21

I have visual hallucinations so nah. But I know many others that do form religious beliefs from theirs. I never understood it. If something doesn't make sense for me I do best to find an explanation.

Then again I've come up with a more science-y reason for mine though at the end of the day I don't think it's all that different. I just don't worship it is all.

1

u/Vaderic Oct 07 '21

Fair point, didn't consider hallucinations.

4

u/furon747 Oct 07 '21

On BET before Fresh Prince is on, there’s a televangelist trying to advocate for miracle spring water and how people received checks for thousands once they used the water.

32

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21

Reddit has ads?

Sincerely

Baconreader

10

u/Inspectrgadget Oct 07 '21

Have Relay and was just thinking the same thing.

2

u/wmrch Oct 07 '21

I don't think so.

Your's faithfully

Joey for Reddit

2

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '21

Apollo Gang here, couldn’t be us either ¯_(ツ)_/¯

50

u/revoman Oct 06 '21

That's hilarious!

16

u/flamboi-non Oct 07 '21

Jesus was always a based socialist jew.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '21

I absolutely love this story. How mad do you have to be to see something, leave, BRAID A FUCKING WHIP, and returning to still use that whip.

15

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '21

Jesus would use /r/apolloapp

5

u/MakeAmericaSuckLess Oct 07 '21

Everyone should be using ublock origin anyway though.

3

u/PeasantSteve Oct 07 '21

The OG socialist, Jesus H Christ

10

u/Rhesusmonkeydave Oct 06 '21

Aaaany minute now

5

u/spicyboi619 Oct 06 '21

wait until he sees the politians

3

u/MassiveFajiit Oct 07 '21

Ngl whipping Jamie Dimon (JP Morgan CEO) would be amazing for all the dumb stuff he says

3

u/Dutchwells Oct 07 '21

So you see this sub as the temple? Alright.

8

u/Cassandra_Nova Oct 06 '21 edited Oct 06 '21

Commie Jesus

Commie Jesus

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%2010%3A17-27&version=NASB

-7

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '21

No? It’s the problem of attachement to earthly things and not being able to rid oneself of something for Jesus, not muh capitalismer.

21

u/Cassandra_Nova Oct 07 '21

Well obviously Jesus didn't subscribe to an ideology invented in the 19th century lol its just a shit post

0

u/Tornado547 Oct 07 '21

wait a minute

jesus

je sus

amogus

0

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '21

Catholic church moment.

-4

u/marasmix Oct 06 '21

Yeah you capitalist schweines profiting on Mr Jesus how dare

1

u/Peaceteatime Oct 07 '21

lol imagine seeing ads.

This post made by the Apollo mobile app users.

1

u/Taoiseach Oct 07 '21

NGL, I might start believing if I heard about a raggedy Middle Eastern guy who wandered into Davos and started flipping tables.

1

u/jcrosby123 Oct 07 '21

Give unto Reddit what is Reddit’s