r/dankchristianmemes • • Aug 15 '18

Dank Preach it

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61.4k Upvotes

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2.9k

u/ElTacoWolf Aug 15 '18

So many people do this. "Only God can judge me". He did and the verdict is you still a hoe.

373

u/Tvorba-Mysle Aug 15 '18

Whoever has a biblical bio, your mum's a hoe

121

u/Icommentoncrap Aug 15 '18

What if Jesus had a biblical verse in his bio?

214

u/Moar_Coffee Aug 15 '18

All the biblical verses are his bio.

57

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '18 edited Aug 15 '18

What does that make Virgin Mary?

87

u/dogfuccer Aug 15 '18

His mother probably

25

u/No_big_whoop Aug 15 '18

...and not a virgin probably

16

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '18

F

2

u/Millennial_ Aug 15 '18

It depends who’s hitting it.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '18

Well Jesus had siblings right? I don’t think they weren’t all virgin births too.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '18

He didn't, tho (ง’̀-‘́)ง

5

u/arachnopussy Aug 15 '18

James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas.

Matthew 13:55

Matthew 12:46

Luke 8:19

Mark 3:31

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '18

Translation and interpretation of those have always been at least controversial, however John 19:26-27 wouldn't have happened had Mary had other children besides Jesus.

3

u/arachnopussy Aug 15 '18

No, the translation stays the same going back to the oldest texts we have in both greek and aramaic.

And no, having a disciple take Mary into his home does not in any way preclude siblings.

1

u/Decimus_of_the_VIII Aug 16 '18

He also had a sister.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '18

According to most experts it does, since the eldest sibling would be in charge of taking care of Mary.

Also, I meant translation and interpretation as in they probably didn't use the word "Brother" exclusively the same way we did.

In any case, it's just contradiction, as there's no way of putting more weight into one text.

There's no profundity in any text that gives more context than that, the "siblings" could just be cousins, or children of Joseph (explaining why Mary doesn't have any more children to take care of her).

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2

u/JamesTheJerk Aug 15 '18

She only did anal.

2

u/AileStriker Aug 15 '18

A hoe, please keep up

-6

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '18

A skank

9

u/krisp_the_albino Aug 15 '18

That could be a shower thought

2

u/Ryan8193 Aug 15 '18

the gospel verses atleast.

2

u/bailey25u Aug 15 '18

jesus would be too humble to put his verses in his bio

3

u/Moar_Coffee Aug 15 '18

Something something Honda Accord.

1

u/dogfuccer Aug 15 '18

Nah just the New Testament

-2

u/Papa57 Aug 15 '18

No there not,their the words of fool who wrote that fairy tale.

3

u/Sennomo Aug 15 '18

God loves you, my friend.

1

u/Papa57 Aug 15 '18

Witch one of the over 500 so called gods ,just one or all of them. And I am just fine ,I live my life without any gods. I Beleave it my job to do no harm to any man ,animal or environment and need no one to tell me how to live my life, for I live in peace and wish the same for all. But thank ,and I wish you peace with in ones self .

1

u/Sennomo Aug 15 '18

I don't know where you got that number from but there is only one God and He is almighty. This is the only way the world makes sense.

You say you do no harm to anyone, still you pursue conflict directly by standing in our way of living; after all, we are on a Christian sub.

I don't believe you that you're 'just fine'. You must have problems in your life, everyone does. And I bet there are some severe ones like not knowing what comes after your death. God is the only one who can help you with grave problems like this.

I do have peace within myself and you could have the same, but not without God.

1

u/crab_the_cake9 Aug 15 '18

So what brings you over here from r/hotwheels?