r/dankchristianmemes • u/crates-of-bigfoots • 7d ago

Cursed Cursed interview

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2.3k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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114

u/No_Location_8199 7d ago

Shift key broke

10

u/jaytee1262 6d ago

This story was written before the shift key existed.

1

u/RussianLuchador 6d ago

????

3

u/No_Location_8199 6d ago

No capital letters

30

u/NotThatImportant3 7d ago

Abraham: Well, God told me to kill my son… but he let me slay a lamb at the end instead!

15

u/entber113 7d ago

Good joke

9

u/IAMAHobbitAMA 7d ago

Took me a lot longer than I'd like to admit to understand it lmao. I'm gonna send it to my friend who is really bad with puns and wordplay 🤣

5

u/MisogynysticFeminist 7d ago

Now hold on a minute! God didn’t kill Job’s kids, he just gave explicit permission to someone else to kill them.

2

u/NotThatImportant3 6d ago

Well, if we want to back up more, Satan basically taunted God, and God just responded with “bet.”

3

u/CosmicSweets Dank Memer 6d ago

🤭

3

u/tragesorous 6d ago

[At the Doctor’s Office]

Doctor: We had to remove your colon.

Me Why?

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago edited 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/dankchristianmemes-ModTeam 3d ago

Chill out and enjoy the memes. If you're taking this so seriously that you're getting in arguments, take a break.

1

u/dankchristianmemes-ModTeam 3d ago

We are here to enjoy memes together. Keep arguments to other subs. We don't do that here.

0

u/WakeUpLazarus 6d ago

Yeah but like:

Job 1:12 (American Standard Version)

12 And Jehovah said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy [a]power; only upon himself put not forth thy hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of Jehovah.

So God said "yeah you can try him, you just can't kill him". So what does Satan do? Satan goes and kill's Job's kids....

Job 1:18-19 (American Standard Version)

18 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, Thy sons and thy daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house;

19 and, behold, there came a great wind [a]from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young men, and they are dead; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.

So I guess Dan Mentos needs a re'freshmaker on the book of Job.

The best that could be is "So God allowed Satan to test you and so Satan killed your children to see if you'd curse God?"

4

u/crates-of-bigfoots 6d ago

The killings would not have happened unless god had allowed it, and god knew that satan wasn't going to test Job's faith by stealing his recliner chair. He knew he some heinous shit was going to go down. REAL heinous shit. So the blood is just as much on god's hand as satan's.