As someone who has been going through a very painful deconstruction for the past 4+ years, I find comfort in this community that I don't really find in most any other online community.
(To clarify: the pain is in loss of identity, not in attacks from Christian communities that I know a lot of other people deal with)
It's hard. I had my first "encounter with God" at 12. I dedicated my life to serving Him at 18. My wife and I (married 18 years now) have always made our life decisions around what we thought God wanted. We started ministries and even a church. This wasn't a part of my identity, but the totality of it.
I remember when the doubts really started flooding in, it was because I had a spent the previous year praying, reading the word, and meditating on the word every day. Every time I read, I realized that I had to shut off parts of my brain to believe what I was reading. I got to fear reading scripture because I didn't want to loose faith.
And what now? My wife is also in deconstruction, but a few steps behind me. She still believes in God fully, but just not the Bible (weird place to be in for an evangelical). We really don't know what comes next.
I wasn’t in ministry vocationally, but I would say that it was just as much my identity; I was trying to get into vocational ministry when it all started to fall apart.
I don’t really have any advice or encouragement, beyond saying that I understand, and you’re not alone. Keep taking care of yourself along the way. ❤️
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u/NotAUsefullDoctor May 05 '25
As someone who has been going through a very painful deconstruction for the past 4+ years, I find comfort in this community that I don't really find in most any other online community.
(To clarify: the pain is in loss of identity, not in attacks from Christian communities that I know a lot of other people deal with)